(no subject)
oh how i love my bailey. and i love that she just said everything ive wanted to say and have tried to say but cant. but now i can. our moms were always right. were just the same. and if someone has a problem with that then well you obviously dont know us and are too immature to just go with it. were two peas in a pod (i swear we were separated at birth). everyone in life has a twin maybe you just havent found them yet. but ive found mine and i love her. love her enough to not beg her to stay. as much as i tell her im going to miss her and pout and say but just staaaay with meee. i know its for the best that shes leaving. because im leaving too. and i cant stay here any longer. and i know she needs to be where she needs to be. coming back and living in your parents home, in a room in your parents home, eating your parents food, sitting at your parents table, watching your parents tv in their living room realizing that none of it is your's anymore that no matter what anyone says you are a guest in the house is so difficult. especially when you know you are a guest yet you still have that "you live in my house" mentality hanging over your head.
and everything is constant waiting waiting waiting. waiting to not be so busy so we can have some freedom, waiting until school is out so we can go "home" and have "fun", and then waiting to go back to school because home really isnt home anymore and the fun we built up in our heads is just that- built up and overrated.
i just want to settle. stop feeling like im in limbo
i'm so sad that bailey just left. i knew i would miss her and that saying good bye would be hard. but its changed so much between us. before this summer we rarely hung out just the two of us. it was always us and shannon. like shannon was our training wheels (you should feel good about that shan) and saying goodbye last year was a little difficult because it crept up on us and its always sad to see a friend go and then realize thats one less person left and everyone is dropping like flies because its begun... but this year is so different. i dont know what im going to do for two weeks minus the 4 days im away. i know i still have great friends around me but going from everyday to no days is hard. and im a little sad. but not too sad because i know now that everything is just beginning. i can feel the gears a-turning. life is finally beginning. no more dorms, no more living at home (as if, you know living in the complete ghetto in maryland is much better than home... i might get cut but hey at least ill be independent), things are starting to happen. and its nice to know its coming. maybe the waiting will stop... probably not. but maybe the waiting thing wont hold as much pressure. and maybe we can learn to really live in the moment and stop thinking about when the next great thing is coming. i feel like im making a graduation speech. lame.
and phone calls are not strawberry shortcake (or rather no strawberry shortcake), tea, combo platters, chicken fingers, and macaroni and cheese bites and french fries with "ranch" dressing, and the best waitress in the entire world who brings us water right away without any questions at the ink well. nor are they hills nights at ryans house... thank god its over so i dont have to be sad watching it by myself. but it will be okaaaaay. thanksgiving right? lets attempt the keys in the winter, hopefully the hurricane hits cuba and wipes out castro instead of wiping out the keys. im going to hell because i just wished a hurricane on cuba so i can go on vacation in the winter...
and everything is constant waiting waiting waiting. waiting to not be so busy so we can have some freedom, waiting until school is out so we can go "home" and have "fun", and then waiting to go back to school because home really isnt home anymore and the fun we built up in our heads is just that- built up and overrated.
i just want to settle. stop feeling like im in limbo
i'm so sad that bailey just left. i knew i would miss her and that saying good bye would be hard. but its changed so much between us. before this summer we rarely hung out just the two of us. it was always us and shannon. like shannon was our training wheels (you should feel good about that shan) and saying goodbye last year was a little difficult because it crept up on us and its always sad to see a friend go and then realize thats one less person left and everyone is dropping like flies because its begun... but this year is so different. i dont know what im going to do for two weeks minus the 4 days im away. i know i still have great friends around me but going from everyday to no days is hard. and im a little sad. but not too sad because i know now that everything is just beginning. i can feel the gears a-turning. life is finally beginning. no more dorms, no more living at home (as if, you know living in the complete ghetto in maryland is much better than home... i might get cut but hey at least ill be independent), things are starting to happen. and its nice to know its coming. maybe the waiting will stop... probably not. but maybe the waiting thing wont hold as much pressure. and maybe we can learn to really live in the moment and stop thinking about when the next great thing is coming. i feel like im making a graduation speech. lame.
and phone calls are not strawberry shortcake (or rather no strawberry shortcake), tea, combo platters, chicken fingers, and macaroni and cheese bites and french fries with "ranch" dressing, and the best waitress in the entire world who brings us water right away without any questions at the ink well. nor are they hills nights at ryans house... thank god its over so i dont have to be sad watching it by myself. but it will be okaaaaay. thanksgiving right? lets attempt the keys in the winter, hopefully the hurricane hits cuba and wipes out castro instead of wiping out the keys. im going to hell because i just wished a hurricane on cuba so i can go on vacation in the winter...