(no subject)
ok so I GRADUATED!! thursday, my Teti (Aunt) Pauline, Uncle Chuck, and cousin, Helen, came home from Illinois. Commencement was the same day. the ceremony was inside that sucked ass. it was so fucking hot in there. and i didn't pay any attention for most of the ceremony. i blew on my tassel. then i came home, changed, and wnet ot Courtney's w/ Alecia for Chris' ungroundation party. i didn't stay long. i decided to go out w/ Brian. we drove around for a whiule and ended up in Borough Park, playing on the play equipment. we talked too. about all kinds of things. friday nothing happened. i was supposed to go out w/ Helen, but they stayed at Uncle Chuck's family's house for too long so i didn't. Saturday was my graduation party. that was fun. Brian was there for a little. when he left i got a couple kisses. it was great. Ryan decided that it was cool to soak me to the bone, so i was wet for most of the party. the party ended just as the rain started. a few of my friends came over. all boys. mum was not happy. then a few more showed up. one being Brian. at around midnight, i took most of them home. then i texted Brian. he and i weren't really talking at my afterparty and i wanted to fix it. so we met at the Jr High. we talked and made-out. he's AMAZING!! yesterday was Brian's party and Amy's. i went to Amy's for a bit. i ended up driving Jon, Amy's boy, to Brian's party. but first we stopped here and i showered and stuff, then we ended up at Wheeler's. Jon tried to kiss me a few times, but i kept rejecting him. he has a girlfiriend and i really like Brian. Jon ended up biting me at Wheeler's house. my neck had two sets of teeth mrks and still hurts. at Brian's party, Brian thought that i was too flirty w/ Jon and got pissed. i tried to talk to him but he kept ignoring me, like i wasn't there. when i got to Brian's i showed him the teeht marks. not to brag, but to be open w/ him. i didn't want him to think i was hiding them by not telling him. i got really upset and started to convulse and cry. apparently i do that when i'm really really upset. i convulse. and this just started happening. i called him and i talked. i pleaded w/ him. he doesn't really trust me. he's been hurt too many times and i have to earn that trust again. i'm working my ass for it. anyone i know knows that i'm a hard worked...when i'm properly motivated. and i'm definitely motivated for Brian. so he's at heart camp this week and i'm here, left to think about how stupid i was last night and wanting him to be here w/ me, loving me like no one knows how. i fucked up and i know that. fixing it won't be easy, but i'm willing to accept the challenge and complete it w/ flying colors. i will win him back. mark my words. ok i'm done
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