(no subject)
so i feel bad for the way i have been acting. i cant explain why i act the way i do. im just in need of change and it seems that things are always the same with us. i always drive. you always find something or someone to complain about and i just put up with it. and our friendship worked for awhile. now that you have a car and the abilty to go places youre leaving me behind. you keep making excuses and i cant take it anymore. its like ive put my whole heart into something and have gotten none of it back. im just really hurt that you dont even think of me anymore. im out of your life it seems. but i guess thats partly my fault for expecting more from you as a friend.
its amazing how one meal with three amazing people can change your entire mood. my new favorite place to eat is village inn. they have DINOFRIES!!! they are amazing. haha. i love james marko and ryan. i dont know what i would do without them. they have become my best friends. i am never not smiling around them and they make me feel like im wanted and cared about. i am so thankful to have them in my life.
i have never been so confused in my life than i am right now. i dont know what i want to do with my life. i dont know who i want to spend my life with. i have an amazing offer on the table but im not 100% about it. so do i take it and see what happens or do i persue something i know isnt going to last long? am i too young to be thinking about marriage and moving to a different country? so many questions with no answers. i feel like i dont really have anyone to talk to. for awhile it was ok because i thought that if i chose this one road i would have to make alot of life changing decisions by myself and i wouldnt be able to ask anyone else because it would be my life with my choices. but every choice effects our lives i guess. im not good at making the right choices. i have made this apparent in all my relationships and friendships. none of them last long.
this weekend should make some things alot better. show on friday i get to take pictures of the matches. show on saturday i get to take pictures of goodbye tomorrow and i will be getting hugs from matty and josh n hopefully. maybe even kevi my bff sticker buddy. ;) sunday is easter. im really excited. tomorrow i get my hair cut and get to take pictures of my aunt uncle and my new baby cousin. well im done venting and stressing and complaining and rambling. hope everyone is staying safe and having a good spring break. <3
its amazing how one meal with three amazing people can change your entire mood. my new favorite place to eat is village inn. they have DINOFRIES!!! they are amazing. haha. i love james marko and ryan. i dont know what i would do without them. they have become my best friends. i am never not smiling around them and they make me feel like im wanted and cared about. i am so thankful to have them in my life.
i have never been so confused in my life than i am right now. i dont know what i want to do with my life. i dont know who i want to spend my life with. i have an amazing offer on the table but im not 100% about it. so do i take it and see what happens or do i persue something i know isnt going to last long? am i too young to be thinking about marriage and moving to a different country? so many questions with no answers. i feel like i dont really have anyone to talk to. for awhile it was ok because i thought that if i chose this one road i would have to make alot of life changing decisions by myself and i wouldnt be able to ask anyone else because it would be my life with my choices. but every choice effects our lives i guess. im not good at making the right choices. i have made this apparent in all my relationships and friendships. none of them last long.
this weekend should make some things alot better. show on friday i get to take pictures of the matches. show on saturday i get to take pictures of goodbye tomorrow and i will be getting hugs from matty and josh n hopefully. maybe even kevi my bff sticker buddy. ;) sunday is easter. im really excited. tomorrow i get my hair cut and get to take pictures of my aunt uncle and my new baby cousin. well im done venting and stressing and complaining and rambling. hope everyone is staying safe and having a good spring break. <3