(no subject)
"You've been really quiet lately."
"What do you think I'm like slipping into depression or something?"
"Well, yeah."
I'm not depressed, yet. I'm just thinking too much. It's what I do when I have too much free time where I can sit and analyze every situation to death. I can't turn my brain off.
I'm waiting for everything it seems like.
I'm still waiting for my test results from my colposcopy. I should have known about 2 weeks ago and I still have no idea what's going on.
I'm waiting to hear about my job applications. Hopefully Wish will hire me. It seemed promising and the girls there were very nice to me.
I'm waiting for Sara and Whitney to be out of the dorm and available to move into the house.
I'm waiting to see how my grades look by the time I go through selective admissions. They aren't looking so hot right now.
I'm waiting to see how things go with Cole. He's giving very faint signs of affection but we're both taking it VERY slow. We're having dinner together tomorrow. He's cooking for me.
I'm waiting for things to seem comfortable again.
On top of it all...Jack out of nowhere throws all of this information on me about how he's having eye surgery and something about a doctor in Pittsburgh who can perform a craniotomy on him but only in two weeks and 40% to 92% recovery and needles and nerves and so much for me to process that it's still all a jumbled mess. With me, not knowing how to react to any of it and all the while still wanting to be bitter about how he treated me but still missing him a little. I don't even know where my emotions are right now. It's all in the air.
I want to move out.
I want to know what's wrong with my body.
I want to be comfortable around Jack.
I want Cole to like me.
I want this job at Wish.
I want everything to work out okay.
I also want a bath so I'm out for now.
"What do you think I'm like slipping into depression or something?"
"Well, yeah."
I'm not depressed, yet. I'm just thinking too much. It's what I do when I have too much free time where I can sit and analyze every situation to death. I can't turn my brain off.
I'm waiting for everything it seems like.
I'm still waiting for my test results from my colposcopy. I should have known about 2 weeks ago and I still have no idea what's going on.
I'm waiting to hear about my job applications. Hopefully Wish will hire me. It seemed promising and the girls there were very nice to me.
I'm waiting for Sara and Whitney to be out of the dorm and available to move into the house.
I'm waiting to see how my grades look by the time I go through selective admissions. They aren't looking so hot right now.
I'm waiting to see how things go with Cole. He's giving very faint signs of affection but we're both taking it VERY slow. We're having dinner together tomorrow. He's cooking for me.
I'm waiting for things to seem comfortable again.
On top of it all...Jack out of nowhere throws all of this information on me about how he's having eye surgery and something about a doctor in Pittsburgh who can perform a craniotomy on him but only in two weeks and 40% to 92% recovery and needles and nerves and so much for me to process that it's still all a jumbled mess. With me, not knowing how to react to any of it and all the while still wanting to be bitter about how he treated me but still missing him a little. I don't even know where my emotions are right now. It's all in the air.
I want to move out.
I want to know what's wrong with my body.
I want to be comfortable around Jack.
I want Cole to like me.
I want this job at Wish.
I want everything to work out okay.
I also want a bath so I'm out for now.