Interlude:
36 weeks tomorrow! We've reached the point where there's no way to say how soon my induction date is without it sounding really soon: "this month," "three weeks," "twenty-four days," etc. Yikes. YIKES. :D
Officially scheduled to go in on the night of the 25th, so unless he decides to come early (which is always a possibility) his birthday will be somewhere in the neighborhood of the 26th. (If I'd had longer to think about it I probably would have opted for going in on the 24th, but the doctor sprung the whole "night of" thing on me pretty suddenly and then I had to decide right then, but whatever, it will work out the way it works out!!)
For being super duper pregnant, I feel pretty okay. Honestly, as much as trying to keep my numbers in check has been a huge pain in the ass, the diet I'm on for gestational diabetes has actually been pretty good for me. My energy levels are pretty stable, my feet/ankles rarely swell, other pregnancy issues like carpal tunnel syndrome and heartburn have either gone away entirely or calmed down dramatically, my skin is clearer than it's been in years, my hair isn't as oily as it used to be... It's pretty ridiculous?? So overall I feel fine, and lots of people tell me that for being just about ready to pop, I look really good, which is always nice to hear. The hardest thing I have to deal with now is just moving. My hips hurt from spreading and Lentl's little feet are all up in my lungs so I lose my breath really easily, and my stomach is so big that it just straight up gets in the way of doing things. Sooo, moving can be difficult, and it takes me a while to get from point A to point B. But other than that, I actually feel pretty good.
Except for one thing: being pregnant means running warm due to increased metabolism on top of carrying around another creature that produces its own body heat, so I've got that going on ... and of course we're going through a massive heat wave. Today it "only" got up to 107, but it's been between 105 and 112 for most of this week, and that's supposed to last through the rest of the weekend. This week alone, my city has either broken or tied records for the hottest day in August, the longest streak of 100+ days, and the largest number of 100+ days in a calendar year. Fun!!! Good thing global warming is a hoax, right guys!!!!!
So, that is my physical situation: not too bad. As for my mental / emotional situation...... hmmm...... I definitely feel better now than I did in the middle of summer when I had nothing to do but fixate on my blood sugar numbers, but there are...... things.............. I think I might have gone through a friend break-up and that's kind of been fucking with me. On one hand, it is my fault because I'm not a particularly good friend and it's the specific ways in which I am not a good friend that led to this. On the other hand, I feel like I've been telling her for years, "This thing you're naturally good at is something I really struggle with," and she maybe just hasn't believed me until it finally became too much for her, so I can't help but feel a little defensive because... really? Now, when I'm pregnant and more exhausted and scatterbrained than ever, this is when you're going to spring this on me? Cool, thanks. Sooo that's been on my mind and has been making me feel like shit, the way being her friend has always made me feel like shit because she's so much better at it and I've always known I could never compare in any way, and it does things like make me cry all day and ask the age-old question "Hmm, but do I really deserve to eat food?" which, guess what, is not a great question to be asking yourself when you're pregnant, so I've been trying to work at least on that particular issue. I've kind of come to terms with our friendship being over and it mostly being my fault, but then a mutual friend offered to throw me a baby shower and now I'm just a constant ball of anxiety because saying yes would mean having to deal with the issue of inviting the maybe-broken-up friend. I would feel obligated to, because she essentially left our relationship status at "we're still friends, I guess, I just won't expect anything from you," but then I just keep thinking: if she doesn't show up, I'll feel crappy about that, and if she does show up, I'll just be ridiculously anxious the whole time because I won't know how to act around her, so either way I'm just not going to have fun, so what's the point, so I should just tell this other friend thank you for the offer but no... but then that feels shitty too, in its own way.
Basically I feel like I am in a situation where there is no winning, and that's a really fun feeling to have and I'm enjoying it a lot!!!!!
Anyway~
As of last week, I'm officially back to school. I'm taking a lit class on Mondays and Wednesdays, a tutoring class that started out Mondays and Wednesdays but will soon switch to Mondays only, a TESOL class on Monday nights, and an online anthropology class. This is an A+++ schedule because it means I only have to drive to campus twice a week, and only one of those days is a long one, so it'll be relatively (relatively!!!) easy to fit everything into my taking-care-of-Lentl schedule, plus when I take a few weeks off I won't miss all that much. It's also nice that I like all my classes. I'm not crazy about my lit teacher (I think she lectures too much instead of letting us discuss, but then again it's only been three class sessions) but I like the reading list, whereas I'm not crazy about my TESOL class but I really like the teacher (I've had him before and he's great). I'm super into anthropology so I'm actually legit excited for my online class because I'm a nerd, and as for my tutoring class, the teacher is awesome so far and it's about something I have a lot of passion for and it seems like it'll be a great mix between theory and practice, and, regarding that practice, we're required to do fifteen hours of tutoring in order to receive credit and afterwards we have the option of either sitting back for the rest of the semester or continuing to tutor for pay. Amazing!!! I still haven't decided which option I'm going to choose -- I meant to get a huge head start this week and knock out a ton of those hours so I can tutor on Wednesdays when I'll be on campus anyway, but all my plans fell through, whoops -- but it's not like I have to decide now anyway, and really, either option is good. More free time or more money, not a bad dilemma to be faced with!!
I've also taken on a TA job, which............ I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it was the accepting-a-job equivalent of buying more food than you really need because you're super hungry right in that moment, because when the teacher contacted me with the offer, I was both super depressed/in need of something to do and super broke, so I was like YES I'LL TAKE THIS JOB THAT WON'T ACTUALLY HELP ME IN ANY WAY UNTIL I'M ALREADY SWAMPED AND HAVE MONEY!!!! But whatever, it's for just one class and it's an easy class at that (easy from a TA standpoint, I mean -- I don't envy those students), and this teacher is nothing like She Who Must Not Be Named who drove me up the wall for years by making me mark every single error on every single page of every single assignment, soooo all things considered it should be a relatively (RELATIVELY!!!) easy way to make some extra cash.
I think that's it!! Boy, that is a lot, and also I am hungry and, as previously mentioned, am trying to be better about staying on top of that, so I guess I will go make food!!! I love you guys and hope you're all doing well. ♥
Crossposted here on Dreamwidth. Comment here or there! ♥
Officially scheduled to go in on the night of the 25th, so unless he decides to come early (which is always a possibility) his birthday will be somewhere in the neighborhood of the 26th. (If I'd had longer to think about it I probably would have opted for going in on the 24th, but the doctor sprung the whole "night of" thing on me pretty suddenly and then I had to decide right then, but whatever, it will work out the way it works out!!)
For being super duper pregnant, I feel pretty okay. Honestly, as much as trying to keep my numbers in check has been a huge pain in the ass, the diet I'm on for gestational diabetes has actually been pretty good for me. My energy levels are pretty stable, my feet/ankles rarely swell, other pregnancy issues like carpal tunnel syndrome and heartburn have either gone away entirely or calmed down dramatically, my skin is clearer than it's been in years, my hair isn't as oily as it used to be... It's pretty ridiculous?? So overall I feel fine, and lots of people tell me that for being just about ready to pop, I look really good, which is always nice to hear. The hardest thing I have to deal with now is just moving. My hips hurt from spreading and Lentl's little feet are all up in my lungs so I lose my breath really easily, and my stomach is so big that it just straight up gets in the way of doing things. Sooo, moving can be difficult, and it takes me a while to get from point A to point B. But other than that, I actually feel pretty good.
Except for one thing: being pregnant means running warm due to increased metabolism on top of carrying around another creature that produces its own body heat, so I've got that going on ... and of course we're going through a massive heat wave. Today it "only" got up to 107, but it's been between 105 and 112 for most of this week, and that's supposed to last through the rest of the weekend. This week alone, my city has either broken or tied records for the hottest day in August, the longest streak of 100+ days, and the largest number of 100+ days in a calendar year. Fun!!! Good thing global warming is a hoax, right guys!!!!!
So, that is my physical situation: not too bad. As for my mental / emotional situation...... hmmm...... I definitely feel better now than I did in the middle of summer when I had nothing to do but fixate on my blood sugar numbers, but there are...... things.............. I think I might have gone through a friend break-up and that's kind of been fucking with me. On one hand, it is my fault because I'm not a particularly good friend and it's the specific ways in which I am not a good friend that led to this. On the other hand, I feel like I've been telling her for years, "This thing you're naturally good at is something I really struggle with," and she maybe just hasn't believed me until it finally became too much for her, so I can't help but feel a little defensive because... really? Now, when I'm pregnant and more exhausted and scatterbrained than ever, this is when you're going to spring this on me? Cool, thanks. Sooo that's been on my mind and has been making me feel like shit, the way being her friend has always made me feel like shit because she's so much better at it and I've always known I could never compare in any way, and it does things like make me cry all day and ask the age-old question "Hmm, but do I really deserve to eat food?" which, guess what, is not a great question to be asking yourself when you're pregnant, so I've been trying to work at least on that particular issue. I've kind of come to terms with our friendship being over and it mostly being my fault, but then a mutual friend offered to throw me a baby shower and now I'm just a constant ball of anxiety because saying yes would mean having to deal with the issue of inviting the maybe-broken-up friend. I would feel obligated to, because she essentially left our relationship status at "we're still friends, I guess, I just won't expect anything from you," but then I just keep thinking: if she doesn't show up, I'll feel crappy about that, and if she does show up, I'll just be ridiculously anxious the whole time because I won't know how to act around her, so either way I'm just not going to have fun, so what's the point, so I should just tell this other friend thank you for the offer but no... but then that feels shitty too, in its own way.
Basically I feel like I am in a situation where there is no winning, and that's a really fun feeling to have and I'm enjoying it a lot!!!!!
Anyway~
As of last week, I'm officially back to school. I'm taking a lit class on Mondays and Wednesdays, a tutoring class that started out Mondays and Wednesdays but will soon switch to Mondays only, a TESOL class on Monday nights, and an online anthropology class. This is an A+++ schedule because it means I only have to drive to campus twice a week, and only one of those days is a long one, so it'll be relatively (relatively!!!) easy to fit everything into my taking-care-of-Lentl schedule, plus when I take a few weeks off I won't miss all that much. It's also nice that I like all my classes. I'm not crazy about my lit teacher (I think she lectures too much instead of letting us discuss, but then again it's only been three class sessions) but I like the reading list, whereas I'm not crazy about my TESOL class but I really like the teacher (I've had him before and he's great). I'm super into anthropology so I'm actually legit excited for my online class because I'm a nerd, and as for my tutoring class, the teacher is awesome so far and it's about something I have a lot of passion for and it seems like it'll be a great mix between theory and practice, and, regarding that practice, we're required to do fifteen hours of tutoring in order to receive credit and afterwards we have the option of either sitting back for the rest of the semester or continuing to tutor for pay. Amazing!!! I still haven't decided which option I'm going to choose -- I meant to get a huge head start this week and knock out a ton of those hours so I can tutor on Wednesdays when I'll be on campus anyway, but all my plans fell through, whoops -- but it's not like I have to decide now anyway, and really, either option is good. More free time or more money, not a bad dilemma to be faced with!!
I've also taken on a TA job, which............ I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it was the accepting-a-job equivalent of buying more food than you really need because you're super hungry right in that moment, because when the teacher contacted me with the offer, I was both super depressed/in need of something to do and super broke, so I was like YES I'LL TAKE THIS JOB THAT WON'T ACTUALLY HELP ME IN ANY WAY UNTIL I'M ALREADY SWAMPED AND HAVE MONEY!!!! But whatever, it's for just one class and it's an easy class at that (easy from a TA standpoint, I mean -- I don't envy those students), and this teacher is nothing like She Who Must Not Be Named who drove me up the wall for years by making me mark every single error on every single page of every single assignment, soooo all things considered it should be a relatively (RELATIVELY!!!) easy way to make some extra cash.
I think that's it!! Boy, that is a lot, and also I am hungry and, as previously mentioned, am trying to be better about staying on top of that, so I guess I will go make food!!! I love you guys and hope you're all doing well. ♥
Crossposted here on Dreamwidth. Comment here or there! ♥