Cookie Cutter Haven (Emily/JJ)
Title: Cookie Cutter Haven
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: PG-13 if that.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. This is just for entertainment purposes.
Summary: Set after Children of the Dark. Emily’s car breaks down and JJ gives her a ride home.
A/N: Just a oneshot but as always comments are love and really make my day!
Closing the car door with a satisfying thwack I sighed. It was my haven, the one place in the world that I felt completely safe was my car, my shiny red male-midlife-crisis of a car. Intellectually speaking I knew it was stupid and that the car itself was amongst the least safe that had been certified for general use, Reid reminded me of this every time he saw me get into it, but that was part of the safety for me. Maybe it was dangerous but I had control over it and that, that was the thing that made me feel safe. I was never completely in control in the outside world but in here I was absolute.
Outside I had little control, especially when it came to a certain brunette... I had little control. We had just finished a case in Denver, Colorado. It had been a hard case but that wasn’t why I had lost control, I had lost control because of the look on her face in the plane. She had looked so broken, so disappointed so... I couldn’t help myself. I had flirted with her, really flirted with her, not just the too-long-to-be-casual eye contact or the verging-on-inappropriate touches but full on shameless flirting. Not that she noticed. I mean why would she notice? She was in deep emotional pain and all I could do about it was bat by eyelashes and fail to form full sentences. Oh and apparently suggest she should have children, good job JJ.
I flicked down the sun visor and took in my reflection in the mirror that was stashed away there. Frowning, I wrinkled my nose and squinted my eyes before relaxing again and taking in the bags that had formed during the flight making my eyes look darker than usual. I blew out a stream of air in disapproval and flipped the visor back up again; maybe this was one time in which it was better to be blissfully unaware.
A knock on my window shook me from my thoughts.
Seeing it was Emily I lowered the window, glad at times like this when I was completely exhausted that they were electric, even if it had cost more. Emily looked just as tired as I did but she was carrying it off with a world’s worth more grace that I was.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, smiling genuinely at her.
“My car won’t start.” Emily said, her voice betraying her fatigue. “I called the garage but there was no answer.”
“How long have I been sitting here?” I asked, wondering how the hell she had had time to discern that her car was broken and attempt to get a mechanic out to fix it in the time it had taken me to get in my car and decide I looked like crap. I hadn’t even fastened my seat belt.
“About fifteen minutes.” She said, smiling slightly. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just tired. Do you need a ride home?” Hoping she would say yes and give me the chance to rectify my horrifying behaviour on the plane I smiled sweetly.
She seemed to visibly relax. “That would be great.” She whispered.
Getting up I opened the door and took her go-bag from her shoulder, transferring it to my own before making my way back to stow it safely on the back seat. She smiled a ‘thanks’ when I gestured for her to get in, slipping into my beautiful car like she belonged there.
I typed her address into my GPS. I had never been there before but, like every member of the team, I knew the addresses and phone numbers of everyone in the BAU off by heart. We had become targets too many times to not have that information stowed away for safe keeping. My thoughts briefly drifted to Gideon as I too got in my car, we had all known it had been his address when the call had come through.
“Ready?” I asked her as my own belt clicked into place.
“Ready.” She confirmed. “Thanks so much for this. I would usually bother Morgan but he had already gone, taking Garcia with him.”
“Really?” I smirked.
“Not that anything would ever really happen between them.” She said softly as we pulled out of the underground car park and into the night. “It wouldn’t be right.”
Frowning, I turned towards her for a second before looking back to the road and following the little yellow arrow on the GPS. “What do you mean?” Hoping with equal intensity that it wasn’t a matter of race or intra-office relations I waited for her to answer.
“Their dynamic could never be fulfilled, it would ruin it.” She smiled distantly. “Kind of like Mulder and Scully.”
“But that was fulfilled.” I reminded her.
“And that’s when the show went to hell.” Emily snorted.
I smiled. “Geek.”
“Hey!” She complained lightly.
I was laughing now, the heavy weight of the case slipping away as my sanctuary of a car was filled with our combined laughter. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a disaster of a night after all.
“But seriously,” She said when her laughter subsided, “Morgan and Garica would never work because their relationship is perfect as it is. The team is perfect as it is.”
My heart sank. “Do you think so?”
“Well maybe not entirely...”
A high pitched beeping from the GPS cut her off. “You have missed your turning, please turn around and recommence on the indicated route.” The GPS scolded. At that moment there was not a person I hated more in the world than that damn GPS woman.
I cursed under my breath and swung around in the empty street. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”
An awkward silence filled the car, heavy with unspoken words we both knew had been coming. For far too long the silence persisted until begrudgingly, without resolving the tension, I pulled into the car park underneath Emily’s apartment complex.
“Here we are.” I said cheerily. “Home safely.”
“Thank you.” She said almost formally. “It I really appreciate it.”
“It was my pleasure.” I replied.
She nodded contemplatively, silent for a moment before inviting me in.
I hesitated, before nodding and gushing that a cup of coffee would be heaven right now.
We headed up to her apartment and I waited in the lounge whilst she brewed the coffee. The view from her apartment was breathtaking. Almost as breathtaking as her. “The many lights twinkling in the dark reminded me of a short story by Silvia Plath I had read in college comparing a similar scene to Mecca. Granted she had been looking out over an airport not a busy city and it had been her longing to visit it that had earned it the title of ‘Mecca’ in her mind but it still seemed to fit for the view from Emily’s window. Maybe it was the Middle Eastern artwork and furnishings scattered around the apartment or the exotic quality that Emily herself had?
“It’s beautiful.” I observed. “If I had this view I would never leave the apartment.”
Soft rich laughter from behind be swirled with the smell of fresh coffee as Emily joined me at the window, handing me the steaming mug.
“It’s why I bought this place. There’s nothing better after a bad case than looking out at how peaceful the city looks by night and forgetting about the terror undoubtedly going on out there.” She said, taking a sip of her coffee.
When I turned to look at her she was shrouded in the smoke-like steam coming from her mug, the theatrical affect intensifying her mysterious mien. “That’s what my car is for.”
She nodded, understanding.
They were the only ones who would ever truly get it, our team, get the psychological quirks our job inflicted on us or get the hours and the travelling. We were a family, a perfectly functioning family of misfits who were completely misunderstood by everyone outside of it. Maybe that’s why I felt what I felt for Emily, she understood me completely and I her. Well, as far as the job went anyway.
“This coffee is amazing, where did you get it?” I moaned involuntarily at the rich dark taste of the coffee, the almost too hot liquid releasing in the pain it inflicted. Maybe that’s why we all drank so much coffee?
Apparently this was a night for processing things.
“You don’t want to know.” She said simply, smirking into her mug.
“Cost more my car, huh?” I teased.
“Not quite, but enough to make you feel guilty for drinking it.” She said.
I was smiling as I walked away from the window, settling in her couch. Her heaven sent couch. “God this is comfy.” I moaned again. If I didn’t stop doing that soon I may as well start re-enacting When Harry Met Sally. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the soft cushions.
“I take it you approve of my apartment.” Emily said, her voice closer meaning that she was about to join me in the couch. The shifting next to me confirmed my suspicions. “Did you really mean what you said before?” She asked, the vulnerability from the plane slipping back into her voice.
“About you and kids?” I asked, opening my eyes and turning to her. “Of course, you are always great with children. I can see it in my mind, you chasing a little kid around at one of Garcia’s annual BBQs.” I closed my eyes again to visualise it. “You will be a great mom one day.”
I neglected to mention that in my version of the fantasy the child that Emily was chasing around was a little blonde boy with my family’s blue eyes.
“I always wanted children, something about making up for my own childhood.” Emily said. “But I don’t think it will ever happen.”
“Why?” I asked, sadness pulling at my heart at the thought of her pain.
“This job doesn’t exactly leave room for dating and I’m not exactly likely to fall pregnant from a one night stand.” She realised too late what she had said and her eyes went wide with panic.
“It’s alright Em, we all know.” I said softly. “No one minds.”
“The FBI...”
“It’s okay Emily.” I soothed. “Really.”
She sighed. “I didn’t want you to look at me differently, be afraid that every time I touched you or looked at you that...”
“I don’t think anything.” I reassured her, placing a comforting hand on her arm. She glanced down at where we were touching but I didn’t pull away like she obviously expected. “See.” I squeezed her arm. “Everything’s okay.”
“No its not.” Emily whispered. “Because there is something, something I’ve tried so hard to suppress.”
My heartbeat quickened as I dared to hope at her meaning. Even if I was wrong I could play it back later in my head with my own ending.
“Something I shouldn’t be feeling and I...” She paused. “I’m so sorry, maybe you should go?”
“No.” I said decisively. “Emily, just say what you mean. Don’t be afraid.”
After a minute of silence she finally spoke. “I’m falling for you JJ.”
“Good.” I said steadily. “Because I’ve already fallen for you.”
That was six hours ago and now, as the morning light filtered through the equally expansive window of Emily’s bedroom, I realised that I had a new haven. It might not be the cookie cutter kind of haven that everybody else had but as Emily nuzzled sleepily into my neck I found that I didn’t care and that maybe, just maybe, my dream would come true.