Conflict of Interest (23/24) Morgana/Nikki - THE FINAL CHAPTER
Title: Conflict of Interest (24/24 - The Final Chapter!)
Fandom: Silent Witness/Merlin (Modern AU)
Rating: PG-13
Characters & Pairings: Morgana/Nikki (with side Arthur/Gwen, unrequited/past Nikki/Harry and maybe-not-so-past-but-maybe-they're-putting-it-behind-them-after-all Gwen/Morgana)
Word Count: A little under 60,000 overall. ~5,000 for this part
Summary: Morgana/Nikki. We look in on everyone one year one and see who gets their happy endings.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or Silent Witness, if I did they would clearly be a crossover. This is not for profit, just for entertainment!
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 |
One Year Later
The soft rise of fall of breakfast radio hummed at the edges of Nikki's awareness, joining the song of a lone blackbird and the low growl of distant traffic to form her morning song. Taking a long sip of tea, she picked up the next glossy card in the pile and tried to imagine herself living in its white washed detached cottage. It was a pretty house. The garden was well kept, a little formal maybe, but it would be beautiful in summer and there was more than enough room out back for children to play or dogs to run. What was shown of the interior easily blended modern comforts with rustic charm, balancing hers and Morgana's styles perfectly. On the surface it was ideal, but the fantasy refused to form. Sighing, she threw it down on the 'no' pile and cast her eyes over the cards she had already gone through. Most lay rejected under the cottage. Only two had made it victoriously to the 'maybe' pile. None had gotten a yes.
He already knew where she wanted to live.
Putting Morgana's airy house - the golden standard by which she judged all other prospective homes - to the back of her mind, she reached for a Victorian semi. As she settled back into the cushions, skimming her eyes over the neat description, the letterbox snapped open behind her and a whoosh of post fell onto the mat. The shock of the invasion nearly made her spill her tea, but she managed to steady the cup with her other hand and put it carefully atop the 'no' pile. Discarding the Victorian semi, she peered over her shoulder at the doorway and smiled broadly. There, sitting on the floor by the door, oblivious of its significance, was the latest volume of Cell.
Leaving her house hunting behind, Nikki rose from the sofa and pounced on the post. She scooped up the whole lot, discarding the bills and her six-monthly reminder to give blood on the table by the door, before ripping open the plastic that surrounded the journal and flicking to the contents page. There she ran her finger down the page, searching for the title she had picked from the ten or so variations that had turned up in an email one day, making her smile goofily enough for Harry to tease her for a good half an hour. Half way down the page she saw what she was looking for:
'A Novel Compound in the Fight against Antibiotic Resistance - A Lesson in Avoiding Drug Efflux'
Nikki's smile broke into a grin. Trying to contain her excitement, she flicked to page 98 and read the list of author's, the first of the three being the one she sought, Lafferty, M E. Holding the journal to her chest, she dashed through the living room and down the corridor to the bedroom, pushing past the half open door stopping abruptly at her side of the bed. Since she had left, Morgana had curled herself in as much of the quilt as was physically possible, making her look like a sleeping caterpillar in a chrysalis. Nikki had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. Carefully, she slid onto the bed, tucking her legs beneath her. Morgana didn't stir.
"Morgana," she said softly.
The caterpillar wiggled further into its chrysalis. This time Nikki did laugh.
"Morgana, it's time to wake up. Something came for you in the post, something that begins with 'C' and ends in 'E' double 'L'," Nikki said excitedly, trying to tempt her girlfriend into the land of the living. "Something," she continued, "that has earned you one hell of a 'well done' kiss."
Making a sleepy sort of sound, Morgana stretched under the covers, loosening her iron-grip on them enough for Nikki to burrow beneath them, wrapping them around her shoulders. With a contagious yawn, Morgana's eyes half opened, dark from sleep. She stared up at the ceiling, blinking slowly, trying to rid her vision of the blur of retreating dreams. Another yawn snook up on her.
"Mmmmm," she murmured, stretching again. A little more awake, she let her head loll to the side and smiled hazily at Nikki. "Is it morning already?"
Nikki chuckled, running her fingers through Morgana's sleep tousled hair, brushing it back from her forehead. "I'm afraid it is. It's almost half past ten."
Morgana's sleep addled brain fumbled with the numbers. "Five hours sleep. Bleeding baggage handler strike. If one more union goes on strike then I'm turning Tory."
"And hell will freeze over."
"A small price to pay for convenient travel," Morgana said with a growing impish smile. "Hell always was a little on the hot side for me anyway. I just don't have the skin tone for it."
Laughing, Nikki swooped down for her first kiss of the day, her stomach fluttering just as much as it had the very first time. She had never had that before, never managed to keep the original spark in a relationship, not matter how hard she tried. With Morgana it was effortless. She lost herself in every kiss, shivered at every touch and melted with every smile. It was, she knew, how love was meant to feel.
"I love you," she murmured, kissing Morgana again.
"Not half as much as I love you," Morgana whispered, bumping her nose with Nikki's.
"I missed you," Nikki said, feeling like a fool. Morgana had only been gone three nights. "I've become one of those pathetic people who can't sleep alone."
The hand that Morgana tangled in her hair was warm. Tingles ran down her spine.
"I watched enough late night TV to last me a lifetime in my insomnia. I couldn't reach the TV to change the channel and there was no remote so I had to watch RTÉ Two all night every night. Did you know there are whole immigrant communities in the Scottish highlands who exclusively speak Irish Gaelic? Apparently there are. There was a three hour documentary on the subject. In Gaelic. I had to sit up to read the subtitles."
Nikki suppressed a laugh. "So you're all read out then? I suppose that means that you won't want to see a certain journal that came in the post today."
Before Morgana could react, Nikki scrambled up from the bed and made for the door. She hadn't gotten four steps before Morgana's grabbed her around her waist, stopping her in her tracks and wrestling her, struggling, back to bed.
"Oh no you don't," Morgana said, smiling victoriously from atop Nikki's hips, getiing herself comfortable before reaching for the journal that Nikki was holding just out of her reach. "Give it here."
"What's it worth?" Nikki asked coyly.
Morgana considered. "A hot bath, a full body massage..." she ran her hands up the ticklish curve of Nikki's sides, "and I'll make dinner for a week."
"Including dessert," Nikki bargained, holding out the journal.
"Including dessert," Morgana agreed. She winked cornily. "Both kinds."
"Page 98." Sitting up so that Morgana was in her lap, Nikki watched her flick to the page her article began on and smile the most adorable smile that Nikki had ever seen. "I am so proud of you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around Morgana's waist. "My genius."
"With special thanks to Dr. Nikki Alexander, whose midnight brainstorming sessions made this possible," Morgana read aloud, turning the journal around and pointing to the short acknowledgements section for Nikki to see. "I always keep my promises, especially to you."
Taking the journal, Nikki read the words for herself, a warm feeling spreading out from her stomach. She remembered the promise. Morgana made it the night before Emrys came for them.
"I - errm - I was going to write something else as well, but I didn't think you would appreciate the fuss," Morgana said.
There was something in the way Morgana's voice wavered that made Nikki's insides do somersaults. She put the journal aside. "Yeah?"
Morgana had never looked more beautiful. Her hair was messy, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide and uncertain. She sought out both of Nikki's hands and laced their fingers together. "Nikki, you - you came into my life at the start of what would be my darkest days and gave me the strength to get through them. You never once doubted me, even when everything was going against me. I can't even begin to tell you how much that still means to me." She took a deep, trembling breath. "Before I met you, I thought I knew what love was, but I've never felt anything like this. I love you so much that I can't breathe when you aren't here. I can't bear to imagine a future without you in it." She brought one of Nikki's hands up to her lips and kissed it reverently. "I know that this can't exactly be how you imagined someone asking you this, there are no flowers, no candles or fancy meals. I had that all planned, but being away from you this week has made it impossible for me to wait any longer."
Nikki felt like she was falling. She couldn't breathe.
"Nikki Alexander, you are the love of my life, the most beautiful, smartest, most perfect woman I have ever met, and I don't even come close to deserving you. But for some reason, you seem to love me too. So I'm asking you, please, make my dreams come true and marry me?" Morgana asked shakily, her eyes full of fear.
"I - I - Yes, yes." A flood of tears ran down her cheeks. Loosing Morgana's hands, she pulled her back down onto the bed with her, kissing her with everything she had, pouring all she had ever felt for her into her, overflowing with it. "I love you. I love you. I love you," she prayed against Morgana's lips in a kiss that tasted of the salt of her tears (or were they Morgana's?) and the sweetness of the happiest she had ever felt.
"Yes," she said again. "Yes."
"Stop grinning," Nikki muttered. "They'll know straight away if you don't stop grinning."
Morgana fidgeted on the front mat and pressed the doorbell again. "I can't."
"Think of something sad, like the amount of boring emails you'll have to wade through when you go back to work on Monday," Nikki suggested, checking her watch. They were definitely on time. And it was definitely the right date. Gwen had nearly murdered Morgana when she found out that her flight back from the conference only got in the morning of Morgan's first birthday. Nikki had gotten a phone call from her the night before making sure that Morgana's flight was on time. I had been. Nikki had told her so within the first thirty seconds. Gwen still managed to stay on the phone for a good half an hour.
"I didn't get the internet switched off. I've been getting them through on my phone all week," Morgana said distractedly, fussing with her dress. She still didn't understand why Morgan's birthday party was at a fine French restaurant, even if Elyan had just bought it. He had only met Morgan that Christmas, unreliable buggar that he was. First birthday parties should have other small children and brightly dressed vaguely creepy children's entertainers making indistinguishable shapes with balloons, not formal wear and amuse-bouches.
"Morgana! How much will that cost?" Nikki asked, aghast, before thinking better of it. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
"I just forgot! It's not like I don't have the money."
"Yet you still flew overnight with Ryanair. I had to listen to Gwen panic over the phone all the way through Dragon's Den," Nikki said, annoyance creeping in on her good mood. If Morgana had gotten a normal timed flight, she could have had a full night sleep without being interrupted in the early morning by her irate girlfriend who had lost her key.
"None of the proper airlines fly into Dublin anymore. Would you rather I chartered a Blue Star Jet?"
The sight of Morgana, her hands on her hips, looking uncomfortable in long burgundy dress, brought laughter bubbling from Nikki's throat.
"What's so funny?" Morgana asked shortly.
"That was our first ever argument as two people engaged to be married," Nikki sang, stepping into Morgana to kiss away her frown.
"So it is, fiancée," Morgana mused, wrapping her arms around Nikki's neck and kissing her again.
With the bang of the doorknocker, Arthur yanked open the door, filling the peaceful afternoon air with the sound of wailing.
"Oh, for God's sake," he swore. "Is it not bad enough already that Gwen and I barely get any time to do that without you two rubbing it in?"
Nikki blushed and stepped away.
"Hello baby brother. It's nice to see you too. Why yes, the conference was fine, thank you for asking," Morgana sniped playfully.
"Brilliant," Arthur said wearily, Morgan screaming in his arms. He was still in his pyjamas. "Take your God son," he said, thrusting Morgan at Morgana and turning back inside the house.
The second Morgana's arms closed around the curly haired baby, he stopped crying and started laughing, patting her face with his chubby hands.
"Oh well that's just bloody brilliant," Arthur called from the bottom of the stairs. "He stops crying for you!"
"At least someone is happy to see me," Morgana cooed, managing to pull off sweet without putting on that terribly annoying baby voice that seemed to be most people's default setting when faced with an infant or small fluffy mammal. She kissed his red cheeks. "Happy birthday, baby boy. Is daddy being bad tempered again? He always was a nightmare if he didn't get his 8 hours a night."
"I think he'd settle for an hour." Gwen was in the doorway, dressed and ready to go. She had apparently won the coin toss. "This little one has been up all night with crying. I thought it was colic at first but the doctor said he would be over it by now." She looked only marginally less tired than Arthur, and most of that was down to makeup.
"Maybe he was just missing his Auntie Morgana," Morgana suggested, giving Gwen a reassuring smile. "We all know how that can reduce even the coldest hearted and emotionless people to sobbing messes. But just in case..." She shifted Morgan to her other hip and turned so that Nikki could get a look at him. "He has another Auntie who just happens to be a doctor."
Nikki ran her hand over his forehead, dodging his attempts to grab hold of her hair whilst she looked into his eyes. She pulled down his little damp chin and peered into his mouth. "He's just fine. It looks like the last of his teeth are coming through. Harry's meeting us at the restaurant. He'll have a better idea than me. He started teething a good month later than most babies do. It's nothing to worry about. I think he's just a bit of a late developer."
"Just like his father," Morgana stage whispered to the oblivious baby. "He didn't stop wetting the bed until he was fourteen."
"Morgana!" Arthur squeaked in outrage, appearing behind Gwen, having changed into a suit quicker than Morgana would have thought possible.
"Oh, like Gwen doesn't already know," Morgana scoffed, stepping back to take Morgan out of Arthur's reach. She hadn't seen her precious nephew for five whole days and she wasn't about to give him up now. "You do know she was there all those times you phoned me in college because you were having nightmares? I may have mentioned the bed wetting then."
"Morgana!"
"Its fine, she married you anyway," Morgana dismissed, using her fingers as a pretend scissors to mimic cutting Morgan's hair whilst the little boy laughed and tried to catch her arm. "And whilst we're on the subject..."
"Morgana!" It was Nikki this time.
"On the subject of bed wetting?" Gwen wrinkled her nose.
"Can we please stop talking about bed wetting," Arthur hissed.
"No, not bed wetting."
"Morgana, now is not the time," Nikki whispered tersely.
"We both know I'm terrible at keeping secrets. It's either now or half way through Elyan's most expensive bottle of champagne. I'm just speeding up the process," Morgana reasoned, passing Morgan to Nikki, whom he was keenly reaching for.
"Speeding up what process?" Gwen asked eagerly. There was a glint in her eye that Nikki suspected meant that she already knew. Morgana was all grand gestures and no sense of embarrassment. There was no way she would have known that Nikki would have died from mortification if Morgana had somehow managed to slip a proposal passed several peer reviewers and into her article.
"She said yes!" Morgana's bright smile and obvious elation was enough to make Nikki go weak at the knees.
"Ah! Congratulations!" Gwen cried, practically jumping down from the doorway to wrap Morgana in a crushing hug.
"Who said yes to what? What am I missing?" Arthur asked, looking from the tangled mess of a hug that was his sister and his wife to Nikki and his son. "Why am I always the last to know everything?"
Nikki joined Harry at the bar and tucked her arm through his. She regretted not having told him that she was engaged separately, before the others. They were never together, but they had danced around it for so long that felt she owed it to him. "I was going to tell you first. I'm sorry."
He smiled his best roughish smile and put his arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry about it." He gave her a one armed hug and kissed the top of her head. "I'm happy for you, Niks. You and Morgana are perfect for each other. Even a blind man could see that."
She leant into him. It felt like forever since she had hugged him like this. "I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and-"
"The less said about that the better," Harry smiled, cutting in. His arm left her to take his drink from the barman. "I'm sure one day I'll find a woman who isn't either scarily fascinated or completely terrified by what I do. You and Leo have managed it."
Nikki smiled. "Morgana has a friend who-"
"No more of Morgana's friends," Harry interjected. "Not ever."
"You do realise that there are waiters."
Nikki laughed as she was pulled backwards into Morgana's arms.
"I know Elyan's useless but he seems to have gotten that much right at least," Morgana said. She let go of Nikki after brushing a quick kiss to her shoulder and patted Harry on the arm. "Don't worry, I'm not sticking around, just making a pit stop on my way to try and find the toilets. Carry on talking about whatever you were talking about. I know you like to have your secret pathologist meetings."
"It really is quite stomach-turning for us single folk to see the way you look at her," Harry joked, nudging a transfixed Nikki with his elbow. "Earth to Alexander. Earth to Alexander."
Nikki didn't hear; she was watching Morgana disappear from view. She couldn't believe how lucky she had gotten. They had been through so much in such a short space of time and, honestly, there was a fair bit she would change given the chance. But she couldn't regret a second of it. Every moment had taken them to where they were then. For that, she was almost grateful to Emrys and Gaius, despite how much she hated them for the hurt they had caused Morgana.
"You really are smitten, aren't you?" Harry asked fondly.
"Completely," Nikki admitted.
A cold wind billowed down the corridor. Morgana shivered. The bathroom had been freezing too. She glanced down the corridor. The back door was open, her sister-in-law silhouetted in the doorway, gazing out into the yard.
"Gwen?" She glanced back into the restaurant before heading for the door, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to ward off the cold. Gwen didn't seem to hear her name or the noisy clicks of Morgana's heels on the stone tiled floor. "Is everything alright?" Following her gaze, Morgana saw only the brick wall that separated them from the alley. She was staring into space. "Gwen?" Sacrificing the meagre warmth she had gathered, Morgana lifted one hand to gently touch Gwen's arm.
"I'm waiting for it," Gwen breathed. Her skin was icy to the touch and Morgana found herself trying and failing to remember when she had last seen her at the table.
"Waiting for what?" Morgana asked quietly, rubbing her hand up and down Gwen's arm to warm that small part of her at least.
Gwen's forehead wrinkled. "For it to all go wrong." She took a sniffle of a breath and turned to face Morgana. "It always does, doesn't it? Why should this time be any different?"
Sighing, Morgana brought her other hand to Gwen's other arm, holding her steady, giving her the anchor that her lost little girl voice screamed out that she needed. Gwen had always been the fragile one. Everyone thought it was Arthur, but Gwen was the one who needed to be told that she was loved, told that everything would be alright and that there was nothing hiding in the darkness waiting to get her.
"I barely sleep. Every night I sneak out of bed and into Morgan's room. I'm terrified that he'll just stop breathing, Morgana. It happens all the time. Babies go to sleep as perfect as perfect can be and never wake up. What if that happens to him?" Gwen whimpered, her eyes shining with unshed tears, piercing Morgana's heart like twin daggers.
"What happened to Victoria-"
"300 babies die in their sleep every year and no one knows why, not really. What if there's something genetic? What if I've given something to him?" Gwen fell into her arms, hands pressed flat against Morgana's collar bone, her head bowed between them. Morgana's arms went around her on instinct.
"Victoria was six weeks old, Gwen. Cot death is extremely rare in babies over three months. It's nigh on unheard of in children Morgan's age. He's a year old now. He's big and strong," Morgana promised. "I can't imagine what it feels like to lose someone as close to you as Victoria was but-"
"I don't feel, that's the worst thing," Gwen trembled. "I know I'm supposed to feel like one half of me is missing, but I don't and I can't talk to Arthur about how scared I am that something is wrong with Morgan because he skirts so carefully around Victoria that it makes my heart break. How can I tell him that the only reason I'm even thinking about my twin sister is because of Morgan?" She looked up at Morgana, searching. "He'll never understand," she touched Morgana's cheek, "not like you do. You always understand."
Morgana turned into her touch. "He'll understand too," she whispered, her eyes fluttering closed, "because he loves you." She felt Gwen lean her head against her again. "Stop looking for something to go wrong. For once, all of our lives are good and they're only going to get better. This is it, Gwen, we've both gotten our happily ever afters."
When she opened her eyes, Morgana caught sight of Nikki over Gwen's shoulder, smiling at them from the corridor. Without a word, she slipped back into the crowd of the restaurant and left them alone.
Sighing happily, Morgana curled into Nikki's warmth, winding around her beneath the quilt, far more contented than she had ever been before. She was in a place in her life that she never realistically thought she would reach. Marriage had never been something she had expected out of life. When she was growing up the thought of it was impossible. Then, when she got a little older and things changed, at least partially, the mere thought of such a commitment sent her running for the hills. The one time she had actually considered it favourably, she had her heart broken so badly she cried every night for longer than she cared to remember. Meeting Nikki changed all of that. It was different from the beginning. And not just because of all the drama that rocked their fledgling relationship. For the first time since Gwen left her, she had someone who understood her. It felt like they had in-jokes from the very start. They didn't need to pretend to be just like everyone else. It was almost like being back at university when everyone in your faculty had that instant thing in common.
Even then, though, she never thought it would last. Not when she was arrested. Any sane person would have left then but Nikki was her biggest supporter. Without her, Morgana would never have gotten through it, not with Gwen and Arthur seeming further out of her reach than ever. Nikki gave her hope and that was what saved her. She quickly realised that she would move mountains just to see her smile. That was when she knew that maybe this time she had gotten it right; she had found that fabled one person who makes her whole. And now she was marrying her. Now, if the news coming out of the Houses of Parliament was true, she would actually be able to marry her.
"Good God, I must be getting old. We got engaged today and all I want to do is sleep," she murmured into Nikki's neck.
Nikki smiled and kissed the soft silky hair at Morgana's temple. "Sleep now, we can fuck in the morning."
Morgana snorted. "Did you say the word 'fuck' in a casual sentence referring to what I think you were referring to?"
"I thought that would get your attention," Nikki smirked. "You're a bad influence on me. You got me drunk to lure me into bed when I was vulnerable and alone in the bar, giving me a conflict of interest that almost lost me my job."
"I'm a bad influence?" Morgana pulled herself up until she was looking down at her fiancée. "Dr Alexander, I do believe that you were the one who kissed me, remember? I was recently bereaved and you were by no means drunk. You haggled with the taxi driver for five whole minutes whilst I froze my arse off, wondering what kind of lunatic I'd brought home with me."
"I am not a lunatic!" Nikki protested, swatting Morgana playfully on the arm. "He deliberately took a long route from the bar! He was taking the Mickey!"
"And you're still bitter about... Even though I was the one who paid for the taxi," Morgana said incredulously. "I should have left on the doorstep then."
Nikki pouted. "But then I wouldn't get my ring. I quite liked the idea of being Nikki Lafferty but now..."
Teasing forgotten, a childlike smile spread across Morgana's face. "You want to take my name?"
Nikki reached up to brush the hair back from Morgana's eyes and, for a moment, was startled by just how beautiful she was. Morgana was everything that she never knew that she wanted and everything that she had always needed. "I want everyone to know that I'm your wife. I want everything with you."
"A dog named Rory and a house in the suburbs?" Morgana joked, that beautiful smile still in place.
"Well, there is one house I like the look of," Nikki began. "It's pretty perfect actually. It's just over a half hour drive from both of our works. It's big and spacious with the most gorgeous kitchen I've ever seen. There's a dusty old library on the third floor with a big comfy leather sofa that we could both curl up on. The master bedroom is gorgeous. It's got this quote from Oscar Wilde on the wall opposite the bed..."
"Nikki..."
"Not to mention the fact that it wouldn't cost us a thing. Forget about Emrys and the fire. No one was even there and the decorators have done a wonderful job. You can't even tell anything happened," Nikki reasoned. Morgana didn't look convinced. "I remember it as the first place I woke up in your arms, the venue for our first proper date and the place I knew that I had fallen in love with you the day you were released on bail. I want to live in that place and remember those things every day. But I won't push for it, not if you really don't want to." She slid her arms around Morgana's waist. "You loved that house. Don't let him spoil it for you. I got the most amazing thing from all of this. I got you, my beautiful fiancée. I wouldn't change that for the world, even if it meant never meeting Emrys."
Morgana blushed. "Do you mean it?"
Nikki smiled. "I'm marrying you aren't I?" She giggled. "Marrying you. That sounds so strange. I'm getting married. Me. I didn't even think I wanted to get married. Then I met you and... Everything that used to seem terrifying seems to me now to me to sound just like heaven." She gazed up at Morgana adoringly. "So yes, I mean it."
Morgana's eyes shone. "What do you say to a winter wedding?"
Author's note - I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story, even those who haven't yet commented. This has been a real labour of love for me. Sometimes it's driven me mad and others the words just seemed to pour out like the story was writing itself. I realise that this is about as niche a fic market as you can get - a Merlin modern AU crossover with a show about forensic pathology. So that just makes all of your support and continued commitment to reading this over the 11 months since I posted the first chapter even more special.
Thank you all, you've been brilliant. And if you've been reading along but haven't commented, I would really love it if you could take the time to do so for this last chapter. I want to appreciate each and every one of you. Remember, you can comment anonymously.
Fandom: Silent Witness/Merlin (Modern AU)
Rating: PG-13
Characters & Pairings: Morgana/Nikki (with side Arthur/Gwen, unrequited/past Nikki/Harry and maybe-not-so-past-but-maybe-they're-putting-it-behind-them-after-all Gwen/Morgana)
Word Count: A little under 60,000 overall. ~5,000 for this part
Summary: Morgana/Nikki. We look in on everyone one year one and see who gets their happy endings.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or Silent Witness, if I did they would clearly be a crossover. This is not for profit, just for entertainment!
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 |
One Year Later
The soft rise of fall of breakfast radio hummed at the edges of Nikki's awareness, joining the song of a lone blackbird and the low growl of distant traffic to form her morning song. Taking a long sip of tea, she picked up the next glossy card in the pile and tried to imagine herself living in its white washed detached cottage. It was a pretty house. The garden was well kept, a little formal maybe, but it would be beautiful in summer and there was more than enough room out back for children to play or dogs to run. What was shown of the interior easily blended modern comforts with rustic charm, balancing hers and Morgana's styles perfectly. On the surface it was ideal, but the fantasy refused to form. Sighing, she threw it down on the 'no' pile and cast her eyes over the cards she had already gone through. Most lay rejected under the cottage. Only two had made it victoriously to the 'maybe' pile. None had gotten a yes.
He already knew where she wanted to live.
Putting Morgana's airy house - the golden standard by which she judged all other prospective homes - to the back of her mind, she reached for a Victorian semi. As she settled back into the cushions, skimming her eyes over the neat description, the letterbox snapped open behind her and a whoosh of post fell onto the mat. The shock of the invasion nearly made her spill her tea, but she managed to steady the cup with her other hand and put it carefully atop the 'no' pile. Discarding the Victorian semi, she peered over her shoulder at the doorway and smiled broadly. There, sitting on the floor by the door, oblivious of its significance, was the latest volume of Cell.
Leaving her house hunting behind, Nikki rose from the sofa and pounced on the post. She scooped up the whole lot, discarding the bills and her six-monthly reminder to give blood on the table by the door, before ripping open the plastic that surrounded the journal and flicking to the contents page. There she ran her finger down the page, searching for the title she had picked from the ten or so variations that had turned up in an email one day, making her smile goofily enough for Harry to tease her for a good half an hour. Half way down the page she saw what she was looking for:
'A Novel Compound in the Fight against Antibiotic Resistance - A Lesson in Avoiding Drug Efflux'
Nikki's smile broke into a grin. Trying to contain her excitement, she flicked to page 98 and read the list of author's, the first of the three being the one she sought, Lafferty, M E. Holding the journal to her chest, she dashed through the living room and down the corridor to the bedroom, pushing past the half open door stopping abruptly at her side of the bed. Since she had left, Morgana had curled herself in as much of the quilt as was physically possible, making her look like a sleeping caterpillar in a chrysalis. Nikki had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. Carefully, she slid onto the bed, tucking her legs beneath her. Morgana didn't stir.
"Morgana," she said softly.
The caterpillar wiggled further into its chrysalis. This time Nikki did laugh.
"Morgana, it's time to wake up. Something came for you in the post, something that begins with 'C' and ends in 'E' double 'L'," Nikki said excitedly, trying to tempt her girlfriend into the land of the living. "Something," she continued, "that has earned you one hell of a 'well done' kiss."
Making a sleepy sort of sound, Morgana stretched under the covers, loosening her iron-grip on them enough for Nikki to burrow beneath them, wrapping them around her shoulders. With a contagious yawn, Morgana's eyes half opened, dark from sleep. She stared up at the ceiling, blinking slowly, trying to rid her vision of the blur of retreating dreams. Another yawn snook up on her.
"Mmmmm," she murmured, stretching again. A little more awake, she let her head loll to the side and smiled hazily at Nikki. "Is it morning already?"
Nikki chuckled, running her fingers through Morgana's sleep tousled hair, brushing it back from her forehead. "I'm afraid it is. It's almost half past ten."
Morgana's sleep addled brain fumbled with the numbers. "Five hours sleep. Bleeding baggage handler strike. If one more union goes on strike then I'm turning Tory."
"And hell will freeze over."
"A small price to pay for convenient travel," Morgana said with a growing impish smile. "Hell always was a little on the hot side for me anyway. I just don't have the skin tone for it."
Laughing, Nikki swooped down for her first kiss of the day, her stomach fluttering just as much as it had the very first time. She had never had that before, never managed to keep the original spark in a relationship, not matter how hard she tried. With Morgana it was effortless. She lost herself in every kiss, shivered at every touch and melted with every smile. It was, she knew, how love was meant to feel.
"I love you," she murmured, kissing Morgana again.
"Not half as much as I love you," Morgana whispered, bumping her nose with Nikki's.
"I missed you," Nikki said, feeling like a fool. Morgana had only been gone three nights. "I've become one of those pathetic people who can't sleep alone."
The hand that Morgana tangled in her hair was warm. Tingles ran down her spine.
"I watched enough late night TV to last me a lifetime in my insomnia. I couldn't reach the TV to change the channel and there was no remote so I had to watch RTÉ Two all night every night. Did you know there are whole immigrant communities in the Scottish highlands who exclusively speak Irish Gaelic? Apparently there are. There was a three hour documentary on the subject. In Gaelic. I had to sit up to read the subtitles."
Nikki suppressed a laugh. "So you're all read out then? I suppose that means that you won't want to see a certain journal that came in the post today."
Before Morgana could react, Nikki scrambled up from the bed and made for the door. She hadn't gotten four steps before Morgana's grabbed her around her waist, stopping her in her tracks and wrestling her, struggling, back to bed.
"Oh no you don't," Morgana said, smiling victoriously from atop Nikki's hips, getiing herself comfortable before reaching for the journal that Nikki was holding just out of her reach. "Give it here."
"What's it worth?" Nikki asked coyly.
Morgana considered. "A hot bath, a full body massage..." she ran her hands up the ticklish curve of Nikki's sides, "and I'll make dinner for a week."
"Including dessert," Nikki bargained, holding out the journal.
"Including dessert," Morgana agreed. She winked cornily. "Both kinds."
"Page 98." Sitting up so that Morgana was in her lap, Nikki watched her flick to the page her article began on and smile the most adorable smile that Nikki had ever seen. "I am so proud of you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around Morgana's waist. "My genius."
"With special thanks to Dr. Nikki Alexander, whose midnight brainstorming sessions made this possible," Morgana read aloud, turning the journal around and pointing to the short acknowledgements section for Nikki to see. "I always keep my promises, especially to you."
Taking the journal, Nikki read the words for herself, a warm feeling spreading out from her stomach. She remembered the promise. Morgana made it the night before Emrys came for them.
"I - errm - I was going to write something else as well, but I didn't think you would appreciate the fuss," Morgana said.
There was something in the way Morgana's voice wavered that made Nikki's insides do somersaults. She put the journal aside. "Yeah?"
Morgana had never looked more beautiful. Her hair was messy, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide and uncertain. She sought out both of Nikki's hands and laced their fingers together. "Nikki, you - you came into my life at the start of what would be my darkest days and gave me the strength to get through them. You never once doubted me, even when everything was going against me. I can't even begin to tell you how much that still means to me." She took a deep, trembling breath. "Before I met you, I thought I knew what love was, but I've never felt anything like this. I love you so much that I can't breathe when you aren't here. I can't bear to imagine a future without you in it." She brought one of Nikki's hands up to her lips and kissed it reverently. "I know that this can't exactly be how you imagined someone asking you this, there are no flowers, no candles or fancy meals. I had that all planned, but being away from you this week has made it impossible for me to wait any longer."
Nikki felt like she was falling. She couldn't breathe.
"Nikki Alexander, you are the love of my life, the most beautiful, smartest, most perfect woman I have ever met, and I don't even come close to deserving you. But for some reason, you seem to love me too. So I'm asking you, please, make my dreams come true and marry me?" Morgana asked shakily, her eyes full of fear.
"I - I - Yes, yes." A flood of tears ran down her cheeks. Loosing Morgana's hands, she pulled her back down onto the bed with her, kissing her with everything she had, pouring all she had ever felt for her into her, overflowing with it. "I love you. I love you. I love you," she prayed against Morgana's lips in a kiss that tasted of the salt of her tears (or were they Morgana's?) and the sweetness of the happiest she had ever felt.
"Yes," she said again. "Yes."
"Stop grinning," Nikki muttered. "They'll know straight away if you don't stop grinning."
Morgana fidgeted on the front mat and pressed the doorbell again. "I can't."
"Think of something sad, like the amount of boring emails you'll have to wade through when you go back to work on Monday," Nikki suggested, checking her watch. They were definitely on time. And it was definitely the right date. Gwen had nearly murdered Morgana when she found out that her flight back from the conference only got in the morning of Morgan's first birthday. Nikki had gotten a phone call from her the night before making sure that Morgana's flight was on time. I had been. Nikki had told her so within the first thirty seconds. Gwen still managed to stay on the phone for a good half an hour.
"I didn't get the internet switched off. I've been getting them through on my phone all week," Morgana said distractedly, fussing with her dress. She still didn't understand why Morgan's birthday party was at a fine French restaurant, even if Elyan had just bought it. He had only met Morgan that Christmas, unreliable buggar that he was. First birthday parties should have other small children and brightly dressed vaguely creepy children's entertainers making indistinguishable shapes with balloons, not formal wear and amuse-bouches.
"Morgana! How much will that cost?" Nikki asked, aghast, before thinking better of it. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
"I just forgot! It's not like I don't have the money."
"Yet you still flew overnight with Ryanair. I had to listen to Gwen panic over the phone all the way through Dragon's Den," Nikki said, annoyance creeping in on her good mood. If Morgana had gotten a normal timed flight, she could have had a full night sleep without being interrupted in the early morning by her irate girlfriend who had lost her key.
"None of the proper airlines fly into Dublin anymore. Would you rather I chartered a Blue Star Jet?"
The sight of Morgana, her hands on her hips, looking uncomfortable in long burgundy dress, brought laughter bubbling from Nikki's throat.
"What's so funny?" Morgana asked shortly.
"That was our first ever argument as two people engaged to be married," Nikki sang, stepping into Morgana to kiss away her frown.
"So it is, fiancée," Morgana mused, wrapping her arms around Nikki's neck and kissing her again.
With the bang of the doorknocker, Arthur yanked open the door, filling the peaceful afternoon air with the sound of wailing.
"Oh, for God's sake," he swore. "Is it not bad enough already that Gwen and I barely get any time to do that without you two rubbing it in?"
Nikki blushed and stepped away.
"Hello baby brother. It's nice to see you too. Why yes, the conference was fine, thank you for asking," Morgana sniped playfully.
"Brilliant," Arthur said wearily, Morgan screaming in his arms. He was still in his pyjamas. "Take your God son," he said, thrusting Morgan at Morgana and turning back inside the house.
The second Morgana's arms closed around the curly haired baby, he stopped crying and started laughing, patting her face with his chubby hands.
"Oh well that's just bloody brilliant," Arthur called from the bottom of the stairs. "He stops crying for you!"
"At least someone is happy to see me," Morgana cooed, managing to pull off sweet without putting on that terribly annoying baby voice that seemed to be most people's default setting when faced with an infant or small fluffy mammal. She kissed his red cheeks. "Happy birthday, baby boy. Is daddy being bad tempered again? He always was a nightmare if he didn't get his 8 hours a night."
"I think he'd settle for an hour." Gwen was in the doorway, dressed and ready to go. She had apparently won the coin toss. "This little one has been up all night with crying. I thought it was colic at first but the doctor said he would be over it by now." She looked only marginally less tired than Arthur, and most of that was down to makeup.
"Maybe he was just missing his Auntie Morgana," Morgana suggested, giving Gwen a reassuring smile. "We all know how that can reduce even the coldest hearted and emotionless people to sobbing messes. But just in case..." She shifted Morgan to her other hip and turned so that Nikki could get a look at him. "He has another Auntie who just happens to be a doctor."
Nikki ran her hand over his forehead, dodging his attempts to grab hold of her hair whilst she looked into his eyes. She pulled down his little damp chin and peered into his mouth. "He's just fine. It looks like the last of his teeth are coming through. Harry's meeting us at the restaurant. He'll have a better idea than me. He started teething a good month later than most babies do. It's nothing to worry about. I think he's just a bit of a late developer."
"Just like his father," Morgana stage whispered to the oblivious baby. "He didn't stop wetting the bed until he was fourteen."
"Morgana!" Arthur squeaked in outrage, appearing behind Gwen, having changed into a suit quicker than Morgana would have thought possible.
"Oh, like Gwen doesn't already know," Morgana scoffed, stepping back to take Morgan out of Arthur's reach. She hadn't seen her precious nephew for five whole days and she wasn't about to give him up now. "You do know she was there all those times you phoned me in college because you were having nightmares? I may have mentioned the bed wetting then."
"Morgana!"
"Its fine, she married you anyway," Morgana dismissed, using her fingers as a pretend scissors to mimic cutting Morgan's hair whilst the little boy laughed and tried to catch her arm. "And whilst we're on the subject..."
"Morgana!" It was Nikki this time.
"On the subject of bed wetting?" Gwen wrinkled her nose.
"Can we please stop talking about bed wetting," Arthur hissed.
"No, not bed wetting."
"Morgana, now is not the time," Nikki whispered tersely.
"We both know I'm terrible at keeping secrets. It's either now or half way through Elyan's most expensive bottle of champagne. I'm just speeding up the process," Morgana reasoned, passing Morgan to Nikki, whom he was keenly reaching for.
"Speeding up what process?" Gwen asked eagerly. There was a glint in her eye that Nikki suspected meant that she already knew. Morgana was all grand gestures and no sense of embarrassment. There was no way she would have known that Nikki would have died from mortification if Morgana had somehow managed to slip a proposal passed several peer reviewers and into her article.
"She said yes!" Morgana's bright smile and obvious elation was enough to make Nikki go weak at the knees.
"Ah! Congratulations!" Gwen cried, practically jumping down from the doorway to wrap Morgana in a crushing hug.
"Who said yes to what? What am I missing?" Arthur asked, looking from the tangled mess of a hug that was his sister and his wife to Nikki and his son. "Why am I always the last to know everything?"
Nikki joined Harry at the bar and tucked her arm through his. She regretted not having told him that she was engaged separately, before the others. They were never together, but they had danced around it for so long that felt she owed it to him. "I was going to tell you first. I'm sorry."
He smiled his best roughish smile and put his arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry about it." He gave her a one armed hug and kissed the top of her head. "I'm happy for you, Niks. You and Morgana are perfect for each other. Even a blind man could see that."
She leant into him. It felt like forever since she had hugged him like this. "I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and-"
"The less said about that the better," Harry smiled, cutting in. His arm left her to take his drink from the barman. "I'm sure one day I'll find a woman who isn't either scarily fascinated or completely terrified by what I do. You and Leo have managed it."
Nikki smiled. "Morgana has a friend who-"
"No more of Morgana's friends," Harry interjected. "Not ever."
"You do realise that there are waiters."
Nikki laughed as she was pulled backwards into Morgana's arms.
"I know Elyan's useless but he seems to have gotten that much right at least," Morgana said. She let go of Nikki after brushing a quick kiss to her shoulder and patted Harry on the arm. "Don't worry, I'm not sticking around, just making a pit stop on my way to try and find the toilets. Carry on talking about whatever you were talking about. I know you like to have your secret pathologist meetings."
"It really is quite stomach-turning for us single folk to see the way you look at her," Harry joked, nudging a transfixed Nikki with his elbow. "Earth to Alexander. Earth to Alexander."
Nikki didn't hear; she was watching Morgana disappear from view. She couldn't believe how lucky she had gotten. They had been through so much in such a short space of time and, honestly, there was a fair bit she would change given the chance. But she couldn't regret a second of it. Every moment had taken them to where they were then. For that, she was almost grateful to Emrys and Gaius, despite how much she hated them for the hurt they had caused Morgana.
"You really are smitten, aren't you?" Harry asked fondly.
"Completely," Nikki admitted.
A cold wind billowed down the corridor. Morgana shivered. The bathroom had been freezing too. She glanced down the corridor. The back door was open, her sister-in-law silhouetted in the doorway, gazing out into the yard.
"Gwen?" She glanced back into the restaurant before heading for the door, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to ward off the cold. Gwen didn't seem to hear her name or the noisy clicks of Morgana's heels on the stone tiled floor. "Is everything alright?" Following her gaze, Morgana saw only the brick wall that separated them from the alley. She was staring into space. "Gwen?" Sacrificing the meagre warmth she had gathered, Morgana lifted one hand to gently touch Gwen's arm.
"I'm waiting for it," Gwen breathed. Her skin was icy to the touch and Morgana found herself trying and failing to remember when she had last seen her at the table.
"Waiting for what?" Morgana asked quietly, rubbing her hand up and down Gwen's arm to warm that small part of her at least.
Gwen's forehead wrinkled. "For it to all go wrong." She took a sniffle of a breath and turned to face Morgana. "It always does, doesn't it? Why should this time be any different?"
Sighing, Morgana brought her other hand to Gwen's other arm, holding her steady, giving her the anchor that her lost little girl voice screamed out that she needed. Gwen had always been the fragile one. Everyone thought it was Arthur, but Gwen was the one who needed to be told that she was loved, told that everything would be alright and that there was nothing hiding in the darkness waiting to get her.
"I barely sleep. Every night I sneak out of bed and into Morgan's room. I'm terrified that he'll just stop breathing, Morgana. It happens all the time. Babies go to sleep as perfect as perfect can be and never wake up. What if that happens to him?" Gwen whimpered, her eyes shining with unshed tears, piercing Morgana's heart like twin daggers.
"What happened to Victoria-"
"300 babies die in their sleep every year and no one knows why, not really. What if there's something genetic? What if I've given something to him?" Gwen fell into her arms, hands pressed flat against Morgana's collar bone, her head bowed between them. Morgana's arms went around her on instinct.
"Victoria was six weeks old, Gwen. Cot death is extremely rare in babies over three months. It's nigh on unheard of in children Morgan's age. He's a year old now. He's big and strong," Morgana promised. "I can't imagine what it feels like to lose someone as close to you as Victoria was but-"
"I don't feel, that's the worst thing," Gwen trembled. "I know I'm supposed to feel like one half of me is missing, but I don't and I can't talk to Arthur about how scared I am that something is wrong with Morgan because he skirts so carefully around Victoria that it makes my heart break. How can I tell him that the only reason I'm even thinking about my twin sister is because of Morgan?" She looked up at Morgana, searching. "He'll never understand," she touched Morgana's cheek, "not like you do. You always understand."
Morgana turned into her touch. "He'll understand too," she whispered, her eyes fluttering closed, "because he loves you." She felt Gwen lean her head against her again. "Stop looking for something to go wrong. For once, all of our lives are good and they're only going to get better. This is it, Gwen, we've both gotten our happily ever afters."
When she opened her eyes, Morgana caught sight of Nikki over Gwen's shoulder, smiling at them from the corridor. Without a word, she slipped back into the crowd of the restaurant and left them alone.
Sighing happily, Morgana curled into Nikki's warmth, winding around her beneath the quilt, far more contented than she had ever been before. She was in a place in her life that she never realistically thought she would reach. Marriage had never been something she had expected out of life. When she was growing up the thought of it was impossible. Then, when she got a little older and things changed, at least partially, the mere thought of such a commitment sent her running for the hills. The one time she had actually considered it favourably, she had her heart broken so badly she cried every night for longer than she cared to remember. Meeting Nikki changed all of that. It was different from the beginning. And not just because of all the drama that rocked their fledgling relationship. For the first time since Gwen left her, she had someone who understood her. It felt like they had in-jokes from the very start. They didn't need to pretend to be just like everyone else. It was almost like being back at university when everyone in your faculty had that instant thing in common.
Even then, though, she never thought it would last. Not when she was arrested. Any sane person would have left then but Nikki was her biggest supporter. Without her, Morgana would never have gotten through it, not with Gwen and Arthur seeming further out of her reach than ever. Nikki gave her hope and that was what saved her. She quickly realised that she would move mountains just to see her smile. That was when she knew that maybe this time she had gotten it right; she had found that fabled one person who makes her whole. And now she was marrying her. Now, if the news coming out of the Houses of Parliament was true, she would actually be able to marry her.
"Good God, I must be getting old. We got engaged today and all I want to do is sleep," she murmured into Nikki's neck.
Nikki smiled and kissed the soft silky hair at Morgana's temple. "Sleep now, we can fuck in the morning."
Morgana snorted. "Did you say the word 'fuck' in a casual sentence referring to what I think you were referring to?"
"I thought that would get your attention," Nikki smirked. "You're a bad influence on me. You got me drunk to lure me into bed when I was vulnerable and alone in the bar, giving me a conflict of interest that almost lost me my job."
"I'm a bad influence?" Morgana pulled herself up until she was looking down at her fiancée. "Dr Alexander, I do believe that you were the one who kissed me, remember? I was recently bereaved and you were by no means drunk. You haggled with the taxi driver for five whole minutes whilst I froze my arse off, wondering what kind of lunatic I'd brought home with me."
"I am not a lunatic!" Nikki protested, swatting Morgana playfully on the arm. "He deliberately took a long route from the bar! He was taking the Mickey!"
"And you're still bitter about... Even though I was the one who paid for the taxi," Morgana said incredulously. "I should have left on the doorstep then."
Nikki pouted. "But then I wouldn't get my ring. I quite liked the idea of being Nikki Lafferty but now..."
Teasing forgotten, a childlike smile spread across Morgana's face. "You want to take my name?"
Nikki reached up to brush the hair back from Morgana's eyes and, for a moment, was startled by just how beautiful she was. Morgana was everything that she never knew that she wanted and everything that she had always needed. "I want everyone to know that I'm your wife. I want everything with you."
"A dog named Rory and a house in the suburbs?" Morgana joked, that beautiful smile still in place.
"Well, there is one house I like the look of," Nikki began. "It's pretty perfect actually. It's just over a half hour drive from both of our works. It's big and spacious with the most gorgeous kitchen I've ever seen. There's a dusty old library on the third floor with a big comfy leather sofa that we could both curl up on. The master bedroom is gorgeous. It's got this quote from Oscar Wilde on the wall opposite the bed..."
"Nikki..."
"Not to mention the fact that it wouldn't cost us a thing. Forget about Emrys and the fire. No one was even there and the decorators have done a wonderful job. You can't even tell anything happened," Nikki reasoned. Morgana didn't look convinced. "I remember it as the first place I woke up in your arms, the venue for our first proper date and the place I knew that I had fallen in love with you the day you were released on bail. I want to live in that place and remember those things every day. But I won't push for it, not if you really don't want to." She slid her arms around Morgana's waist. "You loved that house. Don't let him spoil it for you. I got the most amazing thing from all of this. I got you, my beautiful fiancée. I wouldn't change that for the world, even if it meant never meeting Emrys."
Morgana blushed. "Do you mean it?"
Nikki smiled. "I'm marrying you aren't I?" She giggled. "Marrying you. That sounds so strange. I'm getting married. Me. I didn't even think I wanted to get married. Then I met you and... Everything that used to seem terrifying seems to me now to me to sound just like heaven." She gazed up at Morgana adoringly. "So yes, I mean it."
Morgana's eyes shone. "What do you say to a winter wedding?"
Author's note - I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story, even those who haven't yet commented. This has been a real labour of love for me. Sometimes it's driven me mad and others the words just seemed to pour out like the story was writing itself. I realise that this is about as niche a fic market as you can get - a Merlin modern AU crossover with a show about forensic pathology. So that just makes all of your support and continued commitment to reading this over the 11 months since I posted the first chapter even more special.
Thank you all, you've been brilliant. And if you've been reading along but haven't commented, I would really love it if you could take the time to do so for this last chapter. I want to appreciate each and every one of you. Remember, you can comment anonymously.