Note to self: please remember notes to self.
"It seems like we all feel sincerely broken. Whether it's the relationship we are, or were, in, family situations or day to day occurrences. There are instances in which we understand every expectation we have had for an area of life as substandard in a terrible way. However optimistic a person may be there are just sometimes, after a matter of negative events, one just can't help to predict the next one negatively. In order to feel like we have some control over the events we find the patterns, convincing us of our brokenness, watching the poor prospects of one situation break us until history repeats and re-fractures. Once life returns to its natural course, following the break, we begin expectations again until we've come full circle. We are broken because that's where life leads us.Because of that, no matter what degree of brokenness we have, we begin to accept the poor things that happen to us as facts due to us rightfully and due to our broken tendency."
"2 peices of the same puzzle, we belong together. Though I never meant to become so wrapped up, thus is my nature and thus the result is what I deserve. This will not end well. I'm warning you here and now, because this is the place you turn to when the world seems its darkest. I told you so, don't say you weren't warned, but don't say you deserve it as your brokenness allowed either. Do not wallow. Cherish everything you've had because you were never supposed to have it in the first place. You could have served your lonely months following July 2008. You chose, instead, to milk this relationship for everything you could get and then walk away, not entirely unscathed but wiser, with more happy and smiling memories. Don't act as you are forced to walk away with nothing because truly he gave you something you needed desperately and a hundred other things you never deserved. This will only end poorly due to the fact it never truly got to begin but there will be no unfriendly break up if you end at the point you need to. Remember that point well. In doing this the right way you're saving something worth far more than a couple torturous months. Smile, weep and continue on."
I'm considering sending this to him. Laughably. I hope I won't, but part of me labels this as proof of me never knowing when to stop, and ironic optimism.
My life is in this bizarre limbo.
I saw Alice in Wonderland and liked it quite a bit. Colleen Atwood = fantastic.
"2 peices of the same puzzle, we belong together. Though I never meant to become so wrapped up, thus is my nature and thus the result is what I deserve. This will not end well. I'm warning you here and now, because this is the place you turn to when the world seems its darkest. I told you so, don't say you weren't warned, but don't say you deserve it as your brokenness allowed either. Do not wallow. Cherish everything you've had because you were never supposed to have it in the first place. You could have served your lonely months following July 2008. You chose, instead, to milk this relationship for everything you could get and then walk away, not entirely unscathed but wiser, with more happy and smiling memories. Don't act as you are forced to walk away with nothing because truly he gave you something you needed desperately and a hundred other things you never deserved. This will only end poorly due to the fact it never truly got to begin but there will be no unfriendly break up if you end at the point you need to. Remember that point well. In doing this the right way you're saving something worth far more than a couple torturous months. Smile, weep and continue on."
I'm considering sending this to him. Laughably. I hope I won't, but part of me labels this as proof of me never knowing when to stop, and ironic optimism.
My life is in this bizarre limbo.
I saw Alice in Wonderland and liked it quite a bit. Colleen Atwood = fantastic.