(no subject)
Still don’t really know what happened. All I know now things were better. Seems soon as that stupid git left the girl started to come back to it. Wonder if him leaving had anything to do with it. Don’t really get it either, something bout him being her brother. Didn’t even know she had a brother, sure was news to me. Most of what happened last night was news to me. Make love to a girl one night thinkin’ everything is ok, sides her friend that died, and then come to find her locked in her room going crazy. Still have to try and get to the bottom of this but when she came to it last night I didn’t want to go around searching for answers just yet. Had to be there for her like I promised. I wasn’t going to leave her side, was going to make sure she got through whatever it is that she’s getting through.
She asked me what happened…I didn’t really say much. Didn’t really know what to say yet. Just ran my fingers through her brown locks and held her against me. After a few minutes of that I ok her over to the bed and got her under the covers. Told her that she needed her sleep which she didn’t seem to argue. Could tell whatever had happened was taking a toll on her. Fell right asleep to, in my arms I might add. Seems that brother of hers really didn’t know what was best. Thought he could be the one to fix her and didn’t want me by her.
Took me awhile to fall asleep. Kept on thinkin’ bout her, the other slayer. The one I shouldn’t be thinkin’ of. Started to wonder how things would’ve been different if she didn’t die. Not that she’d ever want me to begin with but still always had that thought from time to time, or I did. Ever since the other night with Sam I haven’t really thought of Buffy. I mean sure the general thought here and there but not like I used to. Sam showed me something else, made me feel something I thought I’d never feel and for that I was grateful for. Just had me worried, wasn’t much of one to worry, least not since I was a vampire. But when it came to stuff like that I did, every time I poured my heart out to someone I just ended up broken in the end. I want to believe the same won’t happen with Sam and I don’t believe it will but there is still that doubt. She just meet me, probably still things I’m some big bad vampire of the night, doubt she’d still like me when she see’s all the true sides of me. No body liked the true sides of me, the sides of me that are still there covered by this mask of being a creature of the night.
William….
Much as I try to push him away, especially after I just turned, I can’t seem to do so. Wanted to save my mother, Dru thought I was crazy for that. Didn’t understand why either, latter I did. That wasn’t right for a vampire to still have feelings bond to his mortal life. Most of them killed their human families. Always heard the stories bout Angel and what he did after he was turned. But I was different, always was different. That’s why Cicely wouldn’t have me, and the others would mock me.
Thought I could change, thought I could be this evil vampire. Which I was mind you, very good at it to. Hide William deep behind the mask till that day. Till the day I saw the slayer, Buffy Summers. Something bout her did something to me. Used to blame it on the bloody chip but it wasn’t the chip. Dru noticed it way before the chip, that’s why she turned her back on me. Told me I went soft which I set out to prove her wrong. Suppose she may have been right, not that I’d ever admit to that. And now the same with this Slayer, she’s making me feel more then I have ever in human and dead life.
Felt a bit of movement from Sam. Glancing down I look at her, eyes still closed but could tell she’d wake up any moment. Lightly I place a kiss on her forehead. Her skin so soft and warm, couldn’t help the feeling it gave me, a feeling I probably shouldn’t be having either. Wasn’t suppose to be happy or anything of that sort. But somehow I was. Though I knew when she’d wake up there would still be that chance of her slipping back to that place she was last night. Wasn’t completely ready to go back into that again but I would for her.
[ Open to the lovely yet ever so crazy Sam ]
She asked me what happened…I didn’t really say much. Didn’t really know what to say yet. Just ran my fingers through her brown locks and held her against me. After a few minutes of that I ok her over to the bed and got her under the covers. Told her that she needed her sleep which she didn’t seem to argue. Could tell whatever had happened was taking a toll on her. Fell right asleep to, in my arms I might add. Seems that brother of hers really didn’t know what was best. Thought he could be the one to fix her and didn’t want me by her.
Took me awhile to fall asleep. Kept on thinkin’ bout her, the other slayer. The one I shouldn’t be thinkin’ of. Started to wonder how things would’ve been different if she didn’t die. Not that she’d ever want me to begin with but still always had that thought from time to time, or I did. Ever since the other night with Sam I haven’t really thought of Buffy. I mean sure the general thought here and there but not like I used to. Sam showed me something else, made me feel something I thought I’d never feel and for that I was grateful for. Just had me worried, wasn’t much of one to worry, least not since I was a vampire. But when it came to stuff like that I did, every time I poured my heart out to someone I just ended up broken in the end. I want to believe the same won’t happen with Sam and I don’t believe it will but there is still that doubt. She just meet me, probably still things I’m some big bad vampire of the night, doubt she’d still like me when she see’s all the true sides of me. No body liked the true sides of me, the sides of me that are still there covered by this mask of being a creature of the night.
William….
Much as I try to push him away, especially after I just turned, I can’t seem to do so. Wanted to save my mother, Dru thought I was crazy for that. Didn’t understand why either, latter I did. That wasn’t right for a vampire to still have feelings bond to his mortal life. Most of them killed their human families. Always heard the stories bout Angel and what he did after he was turned. But I was different, always was different. That’s why Cicely wouldn’t have me, and the others would mock me.
Thought I could change, thought I could be this evil vampire. Which I was mind you, very good at it to. Hide William deep behind the mask till that day. Till the day I saw the slayer, Buffy Summers. Something bout her did something to me. Used to blame it on the bloody chip but it wasn’t the chip. Dru noticed it way before the chip, that’s why she turned her back on me. Told me I went soft which I set out to prove her wrong. Suppose she may have been right, not that I’d ever admit to that. And now the same with this Slayer, she’s making me feel more then I have ever in human and dead life.
Felt a bit of movement from Sam. Glancing down I look at her, eyes still closed but could tell she’d wake up any moment. Lightly I place a kiss on her forehead. Her skin so soft and warm, couldn’t help the feeling it gave me, a feeling I probably shouldn’t be having either. Wasn’t suppose to be happy or anything of that sort. But somehow I was. Though I knew when she’d wake up there would still be that chance of her slipping back to that place she was last night. Wasn’t completely ready to go back into that again but I would for her.
[ Open to the lovely yet ever so crazy Sam ]