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[__fox_mulder]

It's almost too much to grasp. All that has been revealed in the last few hours. The new connection between me and Scully, Samantha coming to recognize me somewhat, Sunnydale being not what it seems and adding on top of that the whole deal with Krycek, it's surprising that I'm still up and around.

Samantha.
I look to Scully to make sure she's

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[iwouldnt_fear]

She hears the door creak like a saw across her throat, and when she looks back, he's gone. As much as she knew he was never really there, she feels loss. Her eyes dart around suddenly and she pushes herself further into the safety of the corner again. He'd coaxed her out along the wall, crawling little scoots till she'd been far enough out for the light to frighten her back to safety

[__fox_mulder]

"Samantha?"

I ask when I hear movement. I open the door even more to see her dive over to the other side of the bed.

I hear her voice, but it's more like the sound of it as a little girl in my dreams and memories.

"Samantha, it's me- Fox.."

Part of me knows I really shouldn't be pushing anything, but that part of me is easily overcome by my overwhelming need to be with her and to protect her. To really protect her and not let her down like that fateful night.

[iwouldnt_fear]

She stops rocking and sits up, still as stone and looking right at him, brown eyes blinking in the darkness. She only knew him as a child, of course, but he's just as recognizeable as a man. More importantly, she can feel that it's him.

But there's no continuity. If she's that little girl laying on a table in the bright white light, what is he doing here? She reaches up with the heel of her hand and rubs her forehead.

"you don't belong. you're real. been misplaced."

He takes a step toward her and more pictures come, like someone put her brain on fast foward. She shakes it a little to try and stop the skipping.

[__fox_mulder]

I almost start to cry and shout in anger right there. What had those bastards done to her? The look of fear and confusion in her eyes is unbearable.

"you don't belong. you're real. been misplaced."

"Misplaced?" I ask gently. I take a few more cautious step before lightly swinging the door so it shuts somewhat.

[iwouldnt_fear]

The door closes and she eases, the light is trapped outside and it can't get her for now. She watches it dissapear behind the door and doesn't take her eyes off it till it's snuffed out. I'm watching you. You can't get me.

"Lost...we're lost.." Her voice shakes a little.

It's not like floating, it's like drowning, her legs and arms kicking and flailing but it doesn't matter because it still pulls you under. But she keeps on kicking. She always keeps kicking.

"He threw her in and she went under...water in my lungs..."

[__fox_mulder]

She was going to hurt herself. I threw caution away and rushed to her. Gently I took hold of her wrists and tried to steady her.

"Samantha, we're not lost. We're safe. You're safe with me. I'm here. It's Fox," my voice faltered some at the last word. I just couldn't imagine what she's been through. To be ripped from your family and possibly been exposed to tests and who know what else.

Selfishly, I wanted to know. I wanted to know everthing, so that I could someday repay back in full everything that they did to her. But by the looks of things I knew I shouldn't push her for anything. She just needed comfort and stability.

[iwouldnt_fear]

His hands touch hers and she feels compelled to stop, freezing as a memory, clear as day, comes shooting in like a bullet to her brain and she even starts a little before the scene plays.

Do we have to watch this Fox?

Leave it. I'm watching The Magician at nine.

Mom and Dad said I could watch the movie, Buttmunch.

They're next door at the Galbrien's and they said I'm in charge.

"get out of my life!"

She catches him by the wrist, holding him there, begging him to understand.

"...want what's real...give- give me the truth..."

[__fox_mulder]

"get out of my life!"

I shudder.

..what what's real..give- give me the truth

"Truth?" I ask searching her beautiful face. "The truth, yes. What do you want to know?"

[iwouldnt_fear]

"What do you want to know?"

Well...there's a snag. What does she want to know? She rubs her head with her palm. The spiders are still there...

"so mixy...It's raining and all my beautiful pictures are running down...I wanted to show you..."

This upsets her again. She thinks she might cry, this is so blurry and frustrating. She rubs at her face and tries again.

"three little girls, an two of them are magic of my own..."

[__fox_mulder]

I tried to concentrate on her crytic words. What did she mean.?

"Wanted to show me what, Samantha. Do- do you know who I am?"

"three little girls, and two of them are magic of my own.."

"Magic?" I wasn't helping at all. I was asking more questions than she was.

[iwouldnt_fear]

She's suddenly unaffected by his confusion, and sways back and forth, making up a song.

"The little girls, two of them magic of my own, one of them wants to go home..."

She stops, turning her head to look at him.

"...which one is she?"

The girl in the cave, the girl in the light, or the girl huddled in a corner in a dark little room with the brother she wants most of all. She glances over and sees a little white move in the darkness. A giggle bubbles up from inside of her.

"there are monsters in the corners, Fox..."

[__fox_mulder]

"Are you one of those little girls, Sam?"

She doesn't really seem to register everything I'm saying.

"there are monsters in the corners,Fox..."

I look around. Nothing. I couldn't see what she was seeing.

"There's nothing here. Just me. Samantha..Samantha!" I raise my voice to try and get her to focus on me.

"Look at me, listen to my voice. You're here, in Sunnydale with me, Fox- your brother. And all your friends. They're out in the other room, and they love you. And I love you-" I stop, because I know I'm just babbling on- trying to help her..

[iwouldnt_fear]

"Are you one of those little girls, Sam?"

Finally he seems to be understanding, a little.

"..she's all of them."

He tries to tell her there's nothing, and she stares at the place where she saw the white, her bottom lip trembling and hoping he's wrong. Please be real, please be real...

He yells and she turns her head to look at him, frowing at the whirlpool of confusion in her brain.

STOP! HE'S SAYING SOMETHING!

"they killed you. put a vaccum on my head and you were gone. try to stop them but they always strap you down."

Her head drops into her hands, trying to make sure she remembers right.

[__fox_mulder]

At first, her words didn't make any sense at all. What did she mean by 'all of them'? Vacuum?

"Killed me?"

I blinked when a thought occured to me.

"Do you mean, they tried to take away your memories?" Of course they did, Fox. What other reason would she have for not knowing anything.

"Did they take your family away from here," I gently touch the top of her head.

[iwouldnt_fear]

She lifts her head again, and hint of a spark lights in her eye when he starts putting peices together. yes. that's what she means. She wishes she had words like he did. He always had the right words for the right things. She remembered that.

"Did they take your family away from here"

She nods urgently. She wants to tell him a hundred things, but they're here then, and gone in a second.

"no mommy...no daddy...just- pain, fear, monsters...hunt and kill. Sometimes red, sometimes green...you'll findout when you stick them. So easy. Just pours out, like turning on a faucet..."

[__fox_mulder]

I don't know where to go from here. I want to hug her and hold her tightly to tell her that it'll never happen to her, but she's vulnerable at the moment. I don't want to scare her.

Should I continue to question her? I don't want her to get even more upset, but the FBI agent in me wants to know everything. The brother in me wants to know, in order to locate who needed to pay. But the compassion in me, the part of me that Scully has cultivated in me knows that this is a fragile instance, and that I should be cautious.

So I continue to assure her that, "I'm here. Fox, your brother. I'm here, and they can't take that away from us. Not now."

I wait a heartbeat before I push a lock of hair out of her eyes, "What did they do to you.." I half whisper, half mumble.