i fell in love again. all things go, all things go...
drove to chicago. all things know. all things know. -Sufjan Stevens "Chicago"
i bought my plane ticket for chicago today. june 12-18. excited? definitely.
sweet hangs and amazing shows are in store. its been a long time coming. <3
this isnt quite permanent, like it was supposed to be by now. but it will be very soon.
breathe.take things slow.everything works itself out.[[that was mostly directed to me]]
so i pretty much suck at updating these days. the truth is, in the last few weeks i have neglected a lot of things. most notably spending time with my friends && writing.two of the things that keep me from becoming a total wreck. two of the things i should be more focused on. ive been working so much. saving everything i can. trying to sell my car.so i can move. i have been spending time between shifts reading at starbucks/barnes and noble. it keeps me kind of grounded and keeps my mind off of how restless and shitty i am sometimes. by shitty i mostly mean my selfishness and desire to prove things to myself. prove to myself that i can do amazing things. ive come to realize and accept my biggest flaws. as for changing them. i can make any promises. i think that whenever i push myself and suceed, i feel much more accomplished. as we all do i guess.
there are times when i ask myself why i want so badly to be sucessful in an industry that is stressful and sometimes cut-throat. and when, i listen to records like 'decemberunderground'
[[afi's newest]] and 'we dont need to whisper' [[angels and airwaves]] i quickly answer my own question. i sat an listened to these records completely in awe. i love that feeling. i love that music can make me forget//remember so much. its medicine to me. and i know that to so many other people it is the same.
in the last year of my life, ive watched so many smiling faces at shows. i love seeing great bands get everything they deserve. and i also hate seeing great bands struggle to get exposure because they have to balance between booking shows/writing new material/living their everyday lives. i know that everyone has to pay their dues, but i think that musicians should be able to focus on their music. and make it the best they can. and hopefully sometime in the near future, ill be able to find those bands and handle all of the business related stuff. leaving them to write amazing records and create better opportunities for themselves.
my parents tell me i am wasting my own talent and giving up on my own dreams to help others achieve theirs. the truth is, until i met the people who inspired me to make this my career, i was living a life i wouldve been so unhappy with. i wouldve ended up stuck in this small town. i wouldve become a statistic. i wouldve settled. and the thought of that now makes me cringe.i am happy with who i am[for the most part]
all because one person decided they didnt love me anymore-
i realized what i wanted in life. i found myself. through music. and it all began one rainy day last june. a day i thought would ruin me forever. but i was have never been so wrong...
i am lucky that i fell in love.
i am even luckier to have fallen out of it.
i am a work in progress but i have amazing friends.and family.and a life ahead of me that will forever be filled with music. whether it be my own-or someone elses. and i smile a lot when i think about it.
sorry this is so long. i promise i wont ramble again for awhile.
i should get to sleep. goodnight//goodmorning my loves. xxoo.
06 06 06 go buy:
decemberunderground by AFI & like vines by The Hush Sound
[you can thank me later]
i bought my plane ticket for chicago today. june 12-18. excited? definitely.
sweet hangs and amazing shows are in store. its been a long time coming. <3
this isnt quite permanent, like it was supposed to be by now. but it will be very soon.
breathe.take things slow.everything works itself out.[[that was mostly directed to me]]
so i pretty much suck at updating these days. the truth is, in the last few weeks i have neglected a lot of things. most notably spending time with my friends && writing.two of the things that keep me from becoming a total wreck. two of the things i should be more focused on. ive been working so much. saving everything i can. trying to sell my car.so i can move. i have been spending time between shifts reading at starbucks/barnes and noble. it keeps me kind of grounded and keeps my mind off of how restless and shitty i am sometimes. by shitty i mostly mean my selfishness and desire to prove things to myself. prove to myself that i can do amazing things. ive come to realize and accept my biggest flaws. as for changing them. i can make any promises. i think that whenever i push myself and suceed, i feel much more accomplished. as we all do i guess.
there are times when i ask myself why i want so badly to be sucessful in an industry that is stressful and sometimes cut-throat. and when, i listen to records like 'decemberunderground'
[[afi's newest]] and 'we dont need to whisper' [[angels and airwaves]] i quickly answer my own question. i sat an listened to these records completely in awe. i love that feeling. i love that music can make me forget//remember so much. its medicine to me. and i know that to so many other people it is the same.
in the last year of my life, ive watched so many smiling faces at shows. i love seeing great bands get everything they deserve. and i also hate seeing great bands struggle to get exposure because they have to balance between booking shows/writing new material/living their everyday lives. i know that everyone has to pay their dues, but i think that musicians should be able to focus on their music. and make it the best they can. and hopefully sometime in the near future, ill be able to find those bands and handle all of the business related stuff. leaving them to write amazing records and create better opportunities for themselves.
my parents tell me i am wasting my own talent and giving up on my own dreams to help others achieve theirs. the truth is, until i met the people who inspired me to make this my career, i was living a life i wouldve been so unhappy with. i wouldve ended up stuck in this small town. i wouldve become a statistic. i wouldve settled. and the thought of that now makes me cringe.i am happy with who i am[for the most part]
all because one person decided they didnt love me anymore-
i realized what i wanted in life. i found myself. through music. and it all began one rainy day last june. a day i thought would ruin me forever. but i was have never been so wrong...
i am lucky that i fell in love.
i am even luckier to have fallen out of it.
i am a work in progress but i have amazing friends.and family.and a life ahead of me that will forever be filled with music. whether it be my own-or someone elses. and i smile a lot when i think about it.
sorry this is so long. i promise i wont ramble again for awhile.
i should get to sleep. goodnight//goodmorning my loves. xxoo.
06 06 06 go buy:
decemberunderground by AFI & like vines by The Hush Sound
[you can thank me later]