he knows a certain gesture.. do you want it, do you want me?

[lovemelikeidou]

i can't believe i just sent what i did..
it was so final..
so goodbye forever sounding..
do i really want this?
no.
but..it's the only thing that i've got energy left to do..
wow..
why can't things just be easy and back to what they were..
they won't and ever be..
that's just how life is..

yesterday at shelby farms was cute..
yet i'm still wondering if it's even that much worth it?
i'm not wowed..
i'm more just..
there.

i seem to just me "there" alot lately..
i don't know what's wrong with me..
but i rely more on cigarettes and booze then i do my ownself now..
i need an adventure to make me laugh again..
can he make this happen?
doubtful.

i just want MTSU to get here and it be summertime..
honestly..

don't say goodbye..
say it's worth it..
♥