(no subject)
I smile with my lips pressed against his, mumbling through the miniscule vacant spaces that separate our bodies, "today is the last day I'll ever see you, realistically, and it's three months to the day that I first spoke to you." The reserved sadness he tries so desperately to mask contaminates his words as he whispers that he'll miss me. Pulling my body so close that we merge into one muddled, odd looking shadow on the wall, his hands holding my ass firmly, delicately kissing every inch of skin from my breasts to my lips. I watched him sleep for hours last night, his body twisted awkwardly on the floor to avoid the landmines of dirty laundry, his toes gently wiggling ever so digilently and faithfully. Kisses so undetectable and soft, etching my invisible lip prints across his skin, cupping his long, elegant fingers between both hands and holding them to my chest, pressing my lips against his in a touch that's like a whisper. I want to be his wife, I want to bear his children, prepare his meals, clean his house, lay out his clothes neatly every night and devour him fully so he would never feel the ache of loneliness again. But I can't rescue him from his mindless bitch of a wife or detach him gently from the memory of love he had with her, he'll destroy himself to fulfill an impossible ideal of perfection and I can't bear to witness it. He speaks of her with a tangible hatred in his voice and I want nothing more than to tell him to leave, to find happiness once again with the woman who so digilently catered to him; but I can't. I can't do anything but to leave and try my hardest to never return, despite his pleas and compromises. be with both isaac and I, I am unbearably jealous and this hurts every second, but you're worth it, don't go away, please. I know I can't, and I know I won't. I miss isaac in a way I'll never miss another, our lost bodies collided one winter and it feels as though they'll never separate, despite time or distance. I feared the loss of self being so intimately intertwined with him, but I realize now that without isaac I am just a faceless girl tumbling down a spiral staircase of wistful longing and despair. He is my home, and after all of these months drifting weightlessly through indistinguishable places, I want nothing more than to go home.