(no subject)
So just when I thought everything was resolved and it was all gonna be okay, I find out its not. It is almost 1:30 and this is the first time I have gotten off the couch today. I stayed up till 3:00 last night. I can't stop crying. I havn't eaten anything yet today. My house is empty. My brother is gone again to another vacation. I wish I had a life like his. My birthday is tomorrow. I don't really care. I'm celebrating it on Friday but tomorrow will be nothing special. Everyone besides me seems to be having this amazing summer. They all have jobs which keeps them busy and makes them money. I can't even afford to go out which just makes my life all that more boring. I made all my college appointments yesterday. I have 4 next week and 1 the week after. I am so scared to leave my zone. I wish I could stay in high school forever and stay with all my friends. Everyone else says how excited they are about finally getting out of school and going off to college and living on there own and I would give anything to stay. I don't want to leave. I don't want to be on my own. I don't want to start my life over. I don't want to be an adult. So many things have hit me in the past 12 hours. I have never been this upset.