Comments | lovemarked: 04-Can't even do that right

lovemarked

04-Can't even do that right

Nov 08, 2008 17:08

This is the most horrible, ickiest thing I've had to do since I got here. I don't want to talk about it. I don't talk about it. I don't even think about it... most days. I really don't... fine. I'm sorry, Thomas.

It was about four years ago. I was asleep when they brought Thomas home, but I was out of bed by the time they brought him into the ( Read more... )

at home, curses

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voice browning_baby November 8 2008, 23:21:42 UTC

... Thomas is a lucky man.

voice lovemarked November 8 2008, 23:32:08 UTC

I wondered when we were going to meet.

voice browning_baby November 8 2008, 23:34:22 UTC

Ah. So you've heard about me, then.

... there are some things you should know before you call me names or accuse me of anything. Or him, either.

voice lovemarked November 8 2008, 23:38:43 UTC

What is there to accuse you of? I wasn't even on the same plane of existence. How can I hold anyone at fault for anything? Especially when I can't even hold him.

But please, go ahead. Start talking, kitty.

private browning_baby November 9 2008, 00:20:05 UTC

Fair enough. I just hate starting off with someone on a bad note for no reason.

First of all, he gave me that nickname to piss me off. I hate nicknames of all kinds. I prefer that people use my name.

Secondly, he's a friend of mine. Nothing more. He helped me. I'm kinda in the same boat he is. He helped me handle it.

... I'm glad you're here for him. He loves you so much.

private lovemarked November 9 2008, 05:12:48 UTC

Okay, at first I was jealous. Absolutely green-eyed with it. And I know he loves me. He loves me so much that it has put a barrier between us that we can not cross. You can touch him when I can't. Can you blame me for being jealous?

So I talked to Thomas to find out who you were. The story he gave me and the one you are giving me differ just a bit. He said you were friends. I don't doubt that. He also said that he's fed on you and had sex with you. Two different statements.

My question is, why would you leave that out? What are you trying to hide?

private browning_baby November 9 2008, 13:20:04 UTC

No, not at all. In fact, I'm kinda jealous myself.

We fed on each other.

.... because if I don't, I'll be admitting that last little shred of humanity I have left is pretty much gone. I'm not going around telling everyone that I'm a succubus. I'm trying to keep from feeding on friends since it pretty much amounts to metaphysical rape. Whoever I touch has full knowledge of what I am, and the number is pretty slim.

private lovemarked November 9 2008, 20:44:22 UTC

Fine... you fed on each other. Is that what he was referring to when he said that you'd had sex?

And for the record, I believe that humanity is a function of who you are... not what you are.

private browning_baby November 9 2008, 22:38:47 UTC

Each time I fed on him, sex was involved.

I know that.

private lovemarked November 9 2008, 22:47:27 UTC

As much as I don't want to ask, I do want to know... how many times has it happened and is it likely to happen again?

Please don't think that I will try to stop you. You are in a position to give him something that I can't give him. Just don't expect me to like you if that is what is going to happen.

Re: private browning_baby November 9 2008, 22:57:49 UTC

I'm not gonna lie. It happened a lot in the past, but it's been a while since the last time and if you ask me not to, then I won't.

I wouldn't touch him again unless it was something pretty damn dire... on his part.

private lovemarked November 9 2008, 23:18:40 UTC

I refer you to my earlier statement. I won't stop him from getting something I can't give him. I also won't stand for anyone else giving him what I can.

You said you were jealous. Why?

private browning_baby November 9 2008, 23:24:17 UTC

That isn't the point. You wouldn't be happy even if you can't do it.

.... that's kinda personal.

private lovemarked November 10 2008, 00:30:24 UTC

You wanna make things right between us?

Talk to me. Help me to understand exactly what it was and what it means to you and I'd be willing to start over completely.

private browning_baby November 10 2008, 00:33:16 UTC

Thomas was a good friend to me. He helped me feel like less of a monster because of what I am. He never judged me or expected things from me and I felt like I could be myself around him.

I'm jealous because you have each other here. Friends and loved ones and family. I don't.

private lovemarked November 10 2008, 01:00:08 UTC

He's good for that sort of thing.

See, this isn't so hard. Feel free to ask me... whatever.

Who did you have back home?

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