"Times Change"--Second part
Just in case you were wondering, LJ still has character limits.
Part One here.
Thelin considered the Babel conference a waste of time. He could see no reason why the flagship of the fleet was relegated to a diplomats' shuttle service--especially as this duty had placed him in the path of Ker and Taras.
Kirk shrugged. "It's an honor," he said.
"It's an insult," said Thelin.
"If the delegation is attacked--"
"And when has that ever happened?"
"The situation's especially tense this time," said Kirk. "Not everyone's in favor of the Coridan system's petition." He suddenly grinned. "Maybe we were the only ship in this sector."
"Starfleet needs more ships," said Thelin.
"It is an honor," said Kirk. "And the Enterprise is not a warship. She's a research and diplomatic vessel, and this is about as diplomatic as it gets."
"I'm not a thei," Thelin snapped.
"I'll take your word for it," said Kirk. "Did something happen?"
"No."
"It's just that you're not yourself lately," said Kirk. "You're sure?"
"I think I'm aware of what has and hasn't happened to me," said Thelin.
"The Vulcan delegation is coming aboard at ten hundred hours ship's time. I'd expect the first officer to be there, in full dress with...well, since it's the Vulcan delegation maybe a smile isn't stictly necessary."
"Yes, Captain," said Thelin. If nothing else, it had kept Kirk from asking anymore personal questions.
***
Something jabbed him in the side. Kirk assumed it was a thin finger aimed by someone with a great deal of experience. "Wake up."
"Good morning to you too," he said.
"Don't we have some Vulcans to greet?" McCoy asked.
"We can't be that late," said Kirk. "Otherwise you'd be glaring at me from out of bed."
"Maybe I want to avoid that damned dress uniform as long as possible."
Kirk glanced at the chronometer. "Well, you've got time. An excessive amount of time." He rolled onto his side, facing away from Bones, and attempted to pull the blanket over his head. "I'm going back to sleep until you're feeling friendlier. Or until it's time to greet the Vulcans." Part of the excitement of having Bones over was never knowing if he was going to have a very pleasant start to the day or if Bones was going to yank all the covers off the bed.
He tightened his grip as he felt the first pull on the blanket. "How friendly do you want me to be?" Bones asked in his ear.
"Is this a trick?"
"Maybe." Bones' hand slid over him, but didn't seem to have too much interest in sliding lower.
"My doctor told me a good night's sleep is important to my health."
"You should listen to your doctor." Bones nibbled his earlobe. "He seems like an intelligent and handsome individual."
"Don't forget modest."
Bones pinched him. "Your doctor thinks you need to get more exercise."
"Does he have any recommendations?"
"Thought you were tired?"
Since Bones' hand seemed to be taking its good sweet time, Kirk moved it for him. "Bones, how can I just ignore the medical advice of an intelligent and handsome physician?" He shifted, leaning into his intelligent, handsome, and already hard physician. "And since you woke me up at five in the god damned morning, I think you owe me a good time."
He very quickly decided it was worth being woken up at five in the god damned morning. Hell, Kirk might be willing to consider a 4 AM wake up call.
"So, can we call it even?" Bones asked.
"Now I think I might owe you?" said Kirk.
Bones yawned. "Pay me back next time."
"You haven't been sleeping?"
"Guess not enough."
Kirk looked at the chronometer again. "Still plenty of time. And we want you looking your best for the Vulcans."
"Any idea what's going on with Thelin?"
"No," said Kirk. "Something, but I couldn't get it out of him. You're worried?"
"I don't know if I should be." He sighed and pulled Kirk closer to him. "I just know something's up."
"You know how Andorians are."
"Do I? Does anybody?"
"He'll be fine," said Kirk. "Or at least he'll be in better shape than you if you sit up all night worrying about him. And, Bones, who's going to take care of me if you finally wear yourself out?"
"Taking care of you is a full time job," said Bones. "Sometimes I think I should bring in somebody else to help."
"Do you mean that?"
"Are you kidding? You think I could stand sharing you all the time? Bad enough on an away mission when somebody takes your fancy..."
"Like Yeoman Barrows? Or Leila Kalomi?"
"Well, if we're naming names..."
"I guess we don't need to keep naming names," said Kirk. "Since I think we can both agree to a little bit of sharing every once in awhile."
"Hate to deprive the poor things."
"As for another pair of hands on a regular basis," said Kirk. "I think everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is."
"Mmm."
"Except we are eventually going to have to get out of bed, put on our beloved dress uniforms, and meet the Vulcans."
(The blankets were slowly sliding away. Kirk realized they were being pulled. And there was a tongue in his ear. "Good morning, Bones."
"I believe you are mistaken, Captain."
"No, I don't believe I am." Kirk squinted at the chronometer. Somehow he'd managed to find two excellent late night/early morning companions, and they were both insomniacs. "Because the real Mr. Spock would find it highly illogical to wake somebody up at this ungodly hour by putting his tongue in their ear."
"Well, if that's how you feel--"
"I'm just pointing out the flaws in your performance," said Kirk, shifting slightly as Bones slid an arm around his waist. "I didn't mean you should stop.")
***
It was never spoken of, but it was possible for a Vulcan to die of grief.
When Amanda had left, she had not asked him to destroy their bond. Perhaps a reconciliation had been possible. Perhaps she had simply forgotten about it. Sarek rarely entered his wife's mind unless she reached through the bond first.
In her own strange idiom, Amanda had had the telepathic abilities of a brick. When he had tried to reassure her--bricks were not sentient, and she had a perfectly satisfactory mind--she had laughed. Apparently among humans it was not a grave insult to compare one's mental abilities to an inanimate, unthinking object.
Sarek had decided it would be impolite to initiate contact in the majority of cases. He was not a strong telepath, but he was stronger than Amanda, and he did not like to think he might intrude when she would have nudged him away if she could. Amanda had quickly learned how to "get his attention". Often she would think his name or, when she wished to summon him to bed, she would think incredibly imaginative scenarios at him or stand in front of a mirror before calling to him. Sarek suspected they were not of one mind as frequently as other Vulcan couples, but if he wished to know her thoughts he could look at her beautiful face or kiss her fingertips.
Perhaps she had not wanted him to touch her mind again, even to remove the bond. After the morning they had learned their son was dead, there had been no physical touch.
"This is all your fault," Amanda had told him from a doorway. She had been the one to leave their bedroom. Sarek would not have known where she slept except he had been able to hear her sobbing.
"You killed our son," she had said, and Sarek did not argue. He had come to the same conclusion. It was the only thing they could determine logically. Neither of them was capable of any other reasonable thought or action--their son was dead.
After avoiding him and telling him what he himself thought, Amanda had left. Since she had not asked him to sever their bond--perhaps she had not known that T'Pau would have done it for them--Sarek had felt the sudden loss of her death.
It was a disappointment that his father had arrived in time to draw him back. Sarek may have even expressed this disappointment. He may have fought the meld meant to save him, either with his mind or his hands.
Vulcans could grieve, but taking time to mourn was a sign of sickness. Sarek could not mourn, and so he worked. His wife and son were dead, everything that they were lost in the dust of Earth's moon or in Vulcan's desert, and he was responsible for this. Sarek knew this. He would never be able to forget this, and so he dedicated himself to his work.
Sarek thought little of his accomplishments. Without Amanda and Spock, his work was all he had, and he was not vain enough to think that someone else might not have done it. His logic was a pretense--if it were possible, he would have let a hundred planets destroy themselves if it would only return the katras of his wife and son.
Although he could never be certain--his father would never speak of the incident because to speak of it was to acknowledge it--Sarek thought his father may have said that Amanda had no katra to lose, and there was a good chance Sarek may have struck him. Not that he would ever know--in the family, all is silence.
As nothing he could do would bring his wife and their child back to him in any form, Sarek merely felt that it would have been preferable to have died when he had felt Amanda's loss.
He entered pon farr utterly unprepared. Somehow he survived this too.
When his heart began to fail, Sarek did nothing. Perhaps he would be able to accomplish his duties at the Babel conference. Perhaps he would not and someone else would.
***
Thelin had only one complaint about Starfleet's dress uniforms: his own was distastefully flesh colored.
Other than that, he could appreciate the display of it. His medals stood out clearly against the sheen of the unfortunately colored fabric. The gold trim looked significant. And if, somehow, improbably, he was forced to go to battle in such a uniform, the blood of his enemies would stand out quite nicely.
He was unimpressed with the Vulcan delegation. Thelin had little use for Vulcans. The ancient enemies of Andor didn't even have the feelers to keep up the feud and had turned pacifist. They'd even managed to become more expressionless and passionless than humans. Thelin thought he would have preferred to meet a Romulan delegation. It might have ended badly, but at least it would be more interesting.
He was especially unimpressed with Ambassador Sarek and annoyed that Kirk had selected him to give the ambassador a tour of the ship. He considered questioning this until he saw the look McCoy was giving him. Apparently he was going to have to play tour guide.
It proved to be more interesting than he had expected. Thelin had almost no interest in leading Vulcans around the ship and pointing out parts of it until he noticed that Sarek seemed to have as little interest in the whole affair as he did. Thelin watched him more carefully. He'd like to know why the Vulcan bothered at all when he clearly couldn't care less about the recreation rooms or the bridge or anything else on board. Sarek nodded in all the right places and occassionally made some appropriate comment, but somehow Thelin just knew he wanted to be somewhere else.
As they entered engineering, he carefully, cautiously reached out for his mind. Sarek looked at him sharply as he mentally closed himself off and easily swatted Thelin away.
Not as strong as Zhavey thought Thelin. Apparently he doesn't need to be. He didn't mind being bested. Everyone knew all Vulcans were telepathic, and Thelin only had one parent who was. If anything it was worth it to find a Vulcan who'd actually glare at him the way Sarek was.
As the other delegates milled around, actually interested in the engines, Sarek approached him. "Your behavior is most inethical," he said.
"Is it?" Thelin asked.
"On Vulcan we do not enter another's mind uninvited," said Sarek.
"On Andor it isn't a problem," said Thelin. "Most of us can't do it."
Sarek definitely glared at him before walking away.
Thelin felt he might enjoy the conference after all.
***
"You want the good news or the bad news?" McCoy asked.
"I assume I'm going to get both whether I want it or not," said Kirk.
"Ambassador Sarek has an alibi," said McCoy.
"Well, that's something," said Kirk.
"He's apparently had three heart attacks in about as many months," said McCoy. "He wouldn't be a threat to a kitten, let alone a full grown Tellarite."
"Will he be all right?" Kirk asked.
"I don't know, Jim," said McCoy. "Frankly I've got no business performing that kind of operation on a Vulcan."
"Bones, you may not have any choice," said Kirk. "We'll--"
McCoy shook his head. "He'd need a cryogenic open-heart procedure. It's the only way to operate on the Vulcan heart, and that kind of procedure requires tremendous amounts of blood for the patient."
Chapel reappeared. "Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"I've checked the blood bank," said Chapel. She looked grim. "There isn't enough Vulcan blood and plasma to even begin an operation of this type."
"Isn't there an entire delegation of Vulcans?" Thelin asked.
"You already got the ambassador's blood type?" McCoy asked.
Chapel nodded. "Yes, Doctor. T negative."
"Check the rest of the delegation," said McCoy. "We can just take their word for it if they are or they aren't. I assume they all know."
"Right away, Doctor."
"Jim, I still don't think--"
"Bones, you've operated on beings we've never even seen before," said Kirk. "If this is an emergency--"
"It is," said McCoy. "The next attack could be fatal. I don't think he's done a thing for it."
"Odd," said Kirk. "Doesn't seem like a Vulcan."
"I've been told certain qualities are universal male traits," said Thelin. "Medical stubborness being one of them."
"And of course you're exempt?" Kirk asked.
"Of course," said Thelin. "I'm not like you binaries, remember?"
"My apologies, Commander," said Kirk. "I've got a lot on my mind."
***
("Attending the conference is more important than--"
"Than your life?" Amanda asked.
"The benefits of successful negotiations far outweigh--"
"And what exactly would the benefits be if you dropped dead right in the middle of negotiating?"
"That would be most unfortunate," said Sarek. Seeing her expression, he added, "If you wish to engage in the human marital ritual of throwing a plate at me, you may do so."
This did not make her smile as he had hoped. "You can be so stupid sometimes," she said. Instead of being amused, she began to cry.
"Amanda," He carefully pulled her hand away from her face. "Amanda, this is why I could not tell you. You are upset."
She looked at him. Sarek always found it difficult to think logically when he saw tears on his wife's cheeks. "Yes, I'm upset," she said. "My husband has just suffered his third heart attack. My husband would rather die for galactic peace--as if he were the only diplomat on Vulcan--than live for his family. And I suppose you're going to tell me that under those circumstances it's illogical to be upset?" She pulled her hand away. "Jesus Christ, Sarek, we've only been married for thirty-seven years."
"Thirty seven point eight--"
"And you still haven't figured out that lying to me is not going to keep me from being upset?"
He kissed her damp cheek with his fingers. "Amanda, if you will agree to be my wife for another thirty seven point eight zero three years, I will try harder to 'figure it out.'"
She did not smile, but she did let him hold her. "You need rest, Sarek," she said.
"I do not--"
"You're slipping," she said, her word for when some stress made it harder for him to stay on what she called his side of their bond. "Go to bed, my husband. Otherwise I'm only going to agree to another twenty nine point three years of marriage."
"Yes, my wife.")
***
The human doctor returned. "I'm sorry," he said.
"I doubt there is any need for you to apologize, Doctor," said Sarek. "I am not aware of any wrong doing on your part."
"I'm afraid you've got the only T negative blood on board," said McCoy.
"As I suspected," said Sarek.
"I'll inform the captain we'll need to divert--"
"No," said Sarek. "This is a minor concern. I will--"
"Ambassador, if you don't have that operation, you're not going to survive long enough to make it to the conference."
Sarek watched the human's expression carefully. He found it interesting that a human he had met only a few hours ago seemed so concerned for his welfare while Sarek himself could most likely be classified as suicidal--if, of course, such a diagnosis was ever applied to Vulcans.
"I...I may have waited too long as it is," said Mccoy.
"Do not concern yourself, Doctor," said Sarek. "If anything, the fault is mine. It is, after all, my heart."
"Ambassador, I don't understand how it's logical for you to ignore something like this," said McCoy.
Sarek was not entirely sure how to answer. "Perhaps I can no longer be expected to behave logically," he said.
***
"I don't like Thelev," said Thelin. "There's some wrong about him."
"Wouldn't Shras have noticed?" Kirk asked.
Thelin shook his head. "Thelev's an aide," he said. "Shras may have barely even spoken to him."
"When you say something's wrong with him..."
"He's..." Thelin's right antenna twitched. "That's it."
"What's it?"
"He's a he," said Thelin. "He's not a thaan or a chan."
"How...how exactly can you tell?" Kirk asked. "And why wouldn't the other Andorians--"
"I've been living with you humans for years," said Thelin. "And how can you tell that Lt. Uhura is a female?"
Uhura turned in her chair. "Well, Captain?" she asked.
"It's..." Kirk cleared his throat. "I think it's...well, I think it's quite obvious that Lt. Uhura is an incredibly lovely, highly intelligent, exceptionally understanding human woman."
"Thelev is one of you two-sexed species pretending to be a thaan," said Thelin.
Kirk coughed. "How...how do you suggest we check that?"
***
Thelev smirked at him. Overconfident shreya-fucker thought he was going to get away with it.
Thelin wondered how Shras--or anyone else--could've missed it. Looking at Thelev now it seems obvious. The way he moved, the way he held himself--none of it seemed quite right, even if it had taken Thelin longer than it should have to realize just what wasn't right about him.
Now the hard part would be to prove it. Which Thelin could do easily--unfortunately it seemed you needed some proof or evidence before you strip searched delegates and their assistants. More needless bureaucracy in Thelin's opinion, but the humans didn't seem to agree with him.
Thelin had already decided that he was right. And, as a science officer, it was utterly unobjectionable for him to be using a tricorder, and everyone coming onto the ship was subject to routine scans anyway. No one would complain unless they'd been surgically altered to look like another species.
He looked down at the screen. The readings made no sense--if Thelev was Andorian, he'd be the walking dead. Thelin scrolled through a few settings until he found his answer: Orion.
He carefully set the tricorder down and lunged. The damned coward didn't see it coming. One of the Orion's fake antennae snapped off as Thelin tackled him. The imposter didn't even notice.
Thelin grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face against the floor. "Little green bastard!" he said in Andorian. He pulled Thelev up. "Do Orions have balls? Do you think I should cut yours off and feed them to you? Or did they already do that when they painted you?"
Starfleet security arrived before Thelin could really enjoy himself. By then the impulsive glee of capturing and thrashing an Orion was starting to fade, and Thelin was beginning to wonder what it meant that he'd enjoyed that more than shelthreth.
Still, the important thing was that the ship was safe--Kirk would be insufferably smug about how good it was that the Enterprise had been the one to carry the delegates, but Thelin had enjoyed himself.
***
"And if it hadn't been the Enterprise, Mr. Thelin..."
"That doesn't mean I want to spend another two weeks with this conference," said Thelin.
Kirk turned to look up at McCoy. "Any word on Ambassador Sarek?"
"I don't know enough about Vulcans," said McCoy. "Especially not how to read them. If they hadn't been Vulcans, I'd think they were shocked that Ambassador Sarek was still alive." He shook his head. "If only--"
"If only you could turn water into T negative blood?" Kirk asked. "If only heart surgery was the same for humans and Vulcans? You did what you could, Bones. It's in somebody else's hands now."
"That's probably what Dr. McCoy doesn't like," said Thelin. McCoy gave him a typical lukewarm human scowl. "You humans are all control freaks."
"Maybe we should learn to be more like Andorians," said McCoy. "You ever feel like you'd feel better after brawling in the corridors?"
Kirk laughed. "Depends on who I'm talking to," he said.
***
"If the Vians return, I've left enough information for you and the captain to finish adjusting this thing," said Thelin.
McCoy felt a sudden surge of panic as he realized what the damn fool was saying. "I'm not a mechanic," he said. "I couldn't get that thing to work no matter how many notes you left!"
"Maybe not," said Thelin, "but you and the captain together should be able to get it to work."
He can't possibly believe that, thought McCoy. "In any case, Thelin, you're the logical one to leave with the captain."
"The decision's mine," said Jim. "If there are any decisions to be made, I'll make them. If and when it becomes necessary." Even that seemed to wear him out--McCoy watched as Jim stumbled back to the small platform and practically collapsed on it.
He prepared a hypo. If he needed to--for example, if there actually was a later--he'd come up with some justification, but at the moment what mattered was that Jim wouldn't have to choose between McCoy's possible death and Thelin's certain mutilation.
"I don't need any--"
"I'm still Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise," said McCoy. "I'll tell you what you need and when you need it." He could see the flicker of realization in Jim's eyes as the sedative kicked in. "Would you rather have the bends?" Jim slumped. "That's it--just lie down and relax."
"You know," Thelin said as McCoy looked down at Jim, "now it's my decision."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" McCoy asked.
"That you'll stay here and take care of your unconscious patient," said Thelin.
If it were possible to give a hypo to an Andorian, McCoy wouldn't have bothered to argue. "I told you, I can't figure that thing out! The only chance--"
"You'll have to," said Thelin. "Even you can't be that technologically inept."
"The odds're in my favor," said McCoy. "You--"
"You have a martyr complex," said Thelin. "I find it incredibly irritating. So, no, I'm not going to let you attempt suicide--again--just so you can pretend you're some kind of guardian."
"So you're going to let them torture you just to spite me?" McCoy asked. "Are you out of your Andorian mind?"
Thelin turned--those antennae of his had picked up on the Vians before McCoy's eyes could see them. "I will be going," he said and disappeared.
"God dammit," McCoy muttered.
(It was much easier to sneak up on a Vulcan than McCoy would've thought.
Spock jumped like he'd been stung by a bee. "Your action is highly inethical," he said. "My decision stands."
McCoy could've argued the numbers. He could've asked if it was so damn inethical then why did Spock appreciate it when he'd done it to Jim? He sure would've liked to hear what ridiculous, so called "logical" explanations Spock would've pulled out of his green ass, but they didn't have time for that.
"Not this time, Spock," he said.)
***
It was worse than anything in all the freezing hells. At least the beings there deserved what happened to them.
Thelin felt hands on him, lifting him, removing the shackles that had scraped the skin off his wrists. He felt this even before his single antenna noticed the prescence of other beings.
"It's us," said Kirk. "Everything's going to be all right."
"Kill them," said Thelin. He seemed to be floating, and then there was something under his bruised back. He couldn't even feel one of his legs, but that was probably for the best. "Cut off their dangling genitals. Feed them to their shreyas."
"Don't talk. Don't speak," said Kirk. "Take it easy until we get you back to the ship."
It was bad enough they'd tortured him, but taking his antenna was worse than killing him. It was an insult. A reminder that he was helpless and weaker and that they could do anything they wanted to him.
There was a hand on his wrist--he still seemed to have all of his limbs. Maybe. There was the leg he couldn't feel. Thelin wanted to sit up and look, but the rest of his body was too heavy, and there was a hand on his shoulder.
"Lie still," said McCoy.
Thelin's arm--the arm twisted uselessly against his chest, the arm that had throbbed with white cold pain as he'd hung there forever--burned. "You zhavey lacking coward!" Thelin spat. "Leave me alone! There's no point!"
"It's all right," said Kirk. "Bones is just--"
"I'm not--" Thelin started to cough. "Not your thei, Kirk. Don't touch me again unless you've got--" This time it felt like he was coughing up his liver. "Unless you've got the feelers, McCoy."
As soon as he felt that they had moved away, Thelin regretted it. He wished he'd kept his mouth shut--even though he couldn't tell how long it had been since he'd cursed them. It was bad enough that he had no quad and never saw his clan; he didn't want to die alone.
"...actually worse than he looks. Severe organ failure. Broken bones. The strain has sent his metabolism into overdrive--if he weren't hurt so bad he'd be telling us he's hungry."
I should be hungry Thelin realized. He didn't think he could keep food down, but he couldn't remember when he'd last eaten. Not that he even knew how long they'd been down there or how long the Vians had been pulling him apart.
He felt hands on him, and then a sudden absence of pain. The alien McCoy had named Gem. She hesitated, then brought her wrists to his face. Thelin hadn't even realized they'd done something to his eyes until she stroked his battered face and he could see again.
If she stopped now, he'd be just healthy enough to leave a nice looking corpse.
Half panicked, half mercenary, he called out to her with his mind. Don't stop. You have to help me.
She was alone and frightened. They--the Vians--had taken her away from everyone. He was the first who could actually speak to her instead of making noises at her.
I'm alone too Thelin told her. Please don't let me die like this. You want to help me.
Later he couldn't be sure how strong the suggestions were or if he'd even reached her mind at all. Sick and in pain, he might have been willing to force her to help him. He might have been too weak and confused to do anything other than dream it.
The pain faded and faded until it was just an ache in his side. His absent leg was only numb. He reached for Gem's mind and found nothing.
He heard the whir of a medical tricorder. "I'll be damned," McCoy murmured.
Maybe I am Thelin thought. It was a strange thought for him, but he'd never be sure if he'd manipulated the woman or not. "Gem," he said.
"She's dead,"McCoy said softly. "It's not your fault."
Something in his expression must have given him away. "You can't blame yourself," said McCoy. The worst thing was that Thelin knew he wouldn't. Even a wounded soldier fought to survive.
They helped him to sit up. "He'll be fine," McCoy said. "Still need to spend some time in sickbay, but he should make a full recovery."
"I hate it when you do that," said Thelin. "I'm right here."
Kirk grinned, but his eyes looked tired. "Sounds like he's already made a full recovery." He put an arm around Thelin's shoulders and made an odd squeezing motion. Thelin realized that this was meant to be affectionate. "Think you can walk?"
Thelin shrugged him off. "Of course I can walk." He stood, wincing at a sharp pain in his side.
"Careful," said McCoy. "Still got--"
"Yes, I noticed," said Thelin. He deigned to let the humans stand near him, but avoided their assistance as much as possible. Something about their doting annoyed him.
***
(There was just enough contact that Spock could feel Jim's anger and fear, both emotions heightened by the captain's awareness that he could do nothing. Spock would not admit to experiencing either emotion. If he felt anything, it was frustration that he had failed to predict and prevent McCoy's behavior.
McCoy was in pain, slightly confused. There was a vague hint of understanding/acceptance--as if something finally made sense to him. Spock did not like this. He did not know what it might mean, but it suggested something quite negative. He could not risk a meld to find the answer. Under other circumstances he would have accepted the risk to himself, but both his friends needed him to function.
"He's dying," said Spock. "We can make him comfortable, but that is all."
"You don't know," said Jim. "You're not a doctor."
Spock had no reply, other than to continue to list McCoy's injuries. He suspected that both he and the captain assumed that, had it been one of them lying there, McCoy would have been able to do something. Spock found himself convinced of this even as he stated all the reasons why it was impossible.
"He's right, Jim," said McCoy.
Spock could understand Jim's anger as they sat on either side of McCoy and waited for the latest coughing fit to pass. What he could not understand was why so many "highly advanced" beings wished to play these cruel games.
"You've got a good bedside manner, Spock," said McCoy. Spock dreaded the moment when he would begin to ask them to kill him.)
***
Once in sickbay, Thelin essentially collaspsed onto a bio-bed.
"Stubborn jackass," McCoy muttered.
He was too tired to complain as McCoy and Chapel discussed his condition while they waved tricorders over him and cut off his uniform tunic. The pain was still there in his side, dull and throbbing, but he knew it could have been much worse.
He'd been spending too much time around humans--the empath had offered help; he'd taken it. No Andorian would dwell on it. And it must have been better than dying with the rest of the planet.
At some point he must have dozed--he could hear McCoy quietly explaining the away mission to Chapel.
"...lost him if it weren't for her," McCoy was saying. "Christ, you'd never know." He met Thelin's gaze. "But you're still staying here under observation for at least a night."
"Doctor, you are a sadist," said Thelin.
"You bet your antennae I am." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I've got to tell Starfleet what the hell happened down there. Standard observation, Nurse. Knock him out if he starts to get mouthy."
***
("What the hell's the matter with you?" Jim asked once the Vians had taken Gem and left them alone.
"I don't know if anything is," said McCoy.
"You pushed her away," said Jim. "The one person who could help you, and--"
"Jim, I couldn't."
The humans looked at each other for a moment, both of them almost utterly motionless on the small padded table. Finally, Jim's shoulders slumped. "I know." He rubbed his face with his hands. "I know. Except I don't. I don't understand it at all." He put his arm around McCoy.
Spock determined that it would be useless to object to his sedation. The doctor would only give him the same agonized look he had just given Jim and some variation of, "I couldn't." Spock had no objections to this. Upon reflection, he accepted it as an accurate answer.
If necessary Spock would persuade the captain that that particular incident need not be reported at all. It would be sufficient for Starfleet to know that McCoy had been captured.
"If you ever do anything like this again," Jim began and seemed unable to complete the thought.
McCoy reached for Jim's hand. "Let's just go home, Jim boy."
Both Jim and McCoy looked up at Spock. They had both been healed of their injuries, but both humans still looked tired. "How about it, Spock?" Jim asked. "Think you can get us out of here?"
"Yes, Captain," Spock said because his friends expected and needed him to.)
***
Thelin slept--without Chapel's assistance. When he awoke, the lights had been dimmed, and McCoy had returned.
"This is not necessary," said Thelin.
"Of course it is," said McCoy without looking up from the data padd in his hands. "Somebody's got to keep an eye on you."
There was someone sleeping in one of the other beds. "And them?"
"Jim's had a long day too." McCoy sighed. "Physically he's fit as a fiddle, but...sometimes I think Jim's more afraid of being alone than of being sick." He walked over to the sleeping human and put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what it was like to be strung up like that, but...Jim needs some company."
"And if I wasn't stuck in here, he'd be in your bed?" Thelin asked without thinking.
"Careful," said McCoy. "That's how rumors get started." Without taking his hand off Kirk, he looked over his shoulder at Thelin. "Maybe he thought you could use some company too."
Thelin considered this possibility. But he also knew his snide, impulsive guess was right. He didn't know how he knew or exactly what it might mean, but somehow he had guessed it.
***
(Jim was already in McCoy's quarters when Spock let himself in. The doctor was already asleep, one arm draped over the captain.
"I do not know if my behavior is entirely logical," Spock said quietly. He could not be certain if he would have made such an admission if McCoy had been able to hear him.
"Of course it is," said Kirk. "You've said you can't behave in a way that isn't logical, so anything you do has to be the logical thing to do."
Jim's logic was correct. Unfortunately the first part of the statement was not entirely correct.
"I'm here for perfectly logical reasons," said Jim. He shifted slightly, and McCoy's arm tightened around him. "I couldn't sleep."
"You are not asleep," said Spock.
"Well, somebody needed to explain how logical you're being," said Jim. "Spock, he's not--all right, he'll complain, but that's just because he's Bones."
Spock watched the humans for a few moments before deciding that it would be illogical for him to simply return to his own quarters after taking the time to walk to and enter McCoy's.
He undressed, neatly folding his uniform tunic and pants and placing them on a chair. Jim--and only Jim--had left a trail of clothing.
Despite his best efforts, Spock was unable to join the humans without waking McCoy. The doctor turned just enough to look at him. "Hey."
Spock did not know the acceptable response to this. McCoy's tone and inflection indicated it was the form of greeting or relaxed call for attention rather than the interjection or objection.
Apparently a response was not required. "Glad you're here," said McCoy.
"Doctor, you require rest," said Spock. "Your statement suggests that you are suffering from severe exhaustion."
"Damn Vulcan.")
***
Spock emerged from the Guardian. Jim appeared to have been describing their observation of the Orion civilization, but had stopped. "What's the matter? Bones?"
"Who's he, Jim?" McCoy asked.
"What do you mean, who's he? You know Mr. Spock."
McCoy looked at Spock without recognition. "Afraid I don't, Jim."
If this were a game or a practical joke, it was atypical of McCoy. Spock could see no sign of amusement, and it was rare that McCoy could conceal his emotions so thoroughly. It also seemed unlikely that such a prank would continue without Jim being "in on it" or joining in the game.
***
Spock was not entirely sure how to categorize his assessment of Thelin. He did not like that someone had taken his place. He did not think he would like to know just how thoroughly he had been replaced by the Andorian.
This was illogical. McCoy--and presumably the Kirk who had known the Andorian for five years--could not be considered to have replaced him, if they indeed had, as they had never known him to begin with.
"Yes, I remember all that," McCoy was saying. "I just don't remember him!"
"Captain, the presence of Commander Thelin and the behavior of the crew suggests that it is not possible to 'help' Dr. McCoy's memory," said Spock. "I do not exist and therefore those memories do not exist."
"Finally somebody's making sense around here," said McCoy. Spock raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"It is unimportant," said Spock.
"Bones," said Jim.
"I'm sorry, Jim," said McCoy. "I swear I never laid eyes on him until he came out of the Guardian." He looked at Spock, again without any sign of familiarity. "Far as I know there's never even been a Vulcan in Starfleet."
***
Thelin was not entirely sure what to think of the Vulcan. He briefly wondered if the Vulcan had done something to Kirk's mind--rewritten his memories and convinced him that Thelin was a stranger and Spock was a trusted officer. But that theory didn't fit. Thelin had little use for Vulcans, but he found it hard to believe that one would brainwash a starship captain just to...that was part of the problem. If it was a trick, Thelin couldn't understand what the goal was.
He quickly skimmed some of the files before passing the research onto Bates. There didn't seem to be any possible motive or anything of interest. According to Starfleet records, there was no Commander Spock, but Thelin could've told them that. Bates could make sure this wasn't some disgruntled Vulcan waste removal technician trying to steal a command position (unlikely as that was), and Bates could figure out if the Vulcan was using a fake name (also incredibly unlikely).
Why aren't I surprised? he thought when he practically tripped over the Vulcan as he entered the turbolift.
Spock only glanced at him before turning back to McCoy. "It is possible."
"I never said it was impossible," said McCoy. "I'm saying I can't do it. That right there is the only non-human patient I've got."
"That?" said Thelin.
McCoy rolled his eyes. "The delightful Mr. Thelin, who, as you may have noticed, is an Andorian, is the only non-human I have had the pleasure to treat. And since you were the one to bring up Romulans--"
"The captain's suggestion," said Spock. "He assumes you would be able to confirm--"
"Why the hell would he think that?"
"Because under different circumstances, you would be able to make such a distinction."
McCoy turned to Thelin. "He's not Romulan."
"You just said--"
The human glanced at the Vulcan, who nodded. "A Romulan his age wouldn't have human factors in his blood," said McCoy. "So, I've confirmed what Jim already seems to know." The turbolift stopped.
"This is the wrong floor," said Thelin.
"I've got a patient," said McCoy. "Call down and Chapel'll send up the extensive documentation proving Mr. Spock's existence."
"Extensive?" Thelin blocked the door with his arm. "I found--"
"That's what you get when you delegate too much. And when you don't study genetics."
Thelin let the door close. He'd either get the information out of the Vulcan or hear it at the meeting Kirk had called. "So you're one of them?" he asked.
Spock raised an eyebrow--it reminded Thelin of McCoy's narrow range of expression. "I am Vulcan."
As they entered the conference room, Thelin realized the Vulcan hadn't quite answered his question.
He listened to Bates' summary of the Vulcan's family. Thelin thought he almost saw some reaction in Spock when Bates said that Sarek's wife had died in a shuttle accident. It seemed strange, but so was a Vulcan-human hybrid. Thelin hadn't been aware there were such beings--not that he gave anymore thought to binary mating than he absolutely had to.
Her death bothers him more than his own Thelin decided. Possibly because he is here to be bothered.. Spock was a stranger who'd appeared out of nowhere to try to claim Thelin's place...but Thelin could respect a being who loved his zhavey.
***
The planet was dead and barren. It had always struck Thelin as the sort of place where there should be wind blowing that wretched dust around, but it was so burnt out there wasn't even a breeze. The place was stagnant; Thelin would be glad to leave it, even if meant he was no longer anywhere at all.
"If you stay on the planet, you won't be affected," said Kirk.
"Trying to get rid of me?" Thelin asked.
"If you can do Mr. Spock's job, we'd be lucky to have you," said Kirk.
Not 'replace Mr. Spock' Thelin noted.
"But it'd be like it was for Spock," said Kirk. "No one would know who you are or that you'd been with the ship for years. If I hadn't been here on the planet, I wouldn't have remembered Spock either." This seemed to bother the human. "I don't think I'd be able to stand it."
"You're certain his mother will survive?" Thelin asked.
"Oh, yes," said Kirk. "I've met her." He looked at Thelin. "We aren't close, are we?"
"For Andorians, there's one's family and one's quad," said Thelin. "We are neither."
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" Thelin was genuinely curious. "What did you expect?"
"I expected to come back and find my ship just as I'd left her," said Kirk. "If you don't want to be stuck, you'd better go. Spock should be back any second now. And I'm sorry we couldn't be closer."
Thelin beamed back to the Enterprise. He wondered if he'd simply continue as if this had never happened or suddenly be somewhere else.
***
Spock and his younger self returned home without I-Chaya. "I must leave soon after we return," said Spock.
"Will you come back?" his younger self asked. His eyes were still green-rimmed from crying, and he seemed to be struggling to master these emotions before he would have to face Sarek.
"I do not think so," said Spock. "But...perhaps you will see me again." He wondered if he should risk altering the timeline further by saying more.
"I will go with you," his younger self said.
"You will not,"
"Why not?" his younger self asked and blushed bright green. It took Spock a moment to realize why the young Vulcan had responded in such a way. It must have seemed a very human response to a child who had only Vulcans to compare himself to.
"Someday you will meet other beings who will understand you," said Spock. "Or who will at least be willing to accept you even when they cannot completely understand you. If I take you with me, you will be unable to meet them." This was essentially a lie, but it would be impossible to explain. "And it would make the Lady Amanda sad if you did not come home. That is why you must be more careful in the future."
***
As expected, he and Jim were the only ones aware that the past had briefly changed. If Spock used this information to attempt to provoke McCoy, it was only to confirm that the good doctor was unaware of the timeline.
"All right, spill it," McCoy said three minutes into Spock's routine physical.
"Spill it," Spock repeated. "What is it that I am expected to spill?"
"You don't normally blather on about hypothetical Andorians," said McCoy. "So you want to explain why I'd have to recalibrate for an Andorian if times were different, or should I tack on a psych evaluation too?"
Spock "spilled it." He was actually the visiting relative who had saved his life as a child. When Vulcan history was replayed while he was observing Orion, he was unable to rescue himself. He had died, and an Andorian had become the Enterprise's first officer. Spock had returned and performed the necessary actions in his own past.
"Good God," McCoy said.
"Doctor, I believe this is where you would express your approval of the altered timeline," said Spock.
"I'm just overwhelmed by the possibility of a Vulcan-free Enterprise," said McCoy. "Why exactly are we still using that damn thing?"
"The potential for research--"
"You apparently managed to get yourself killed this afternoon," said McCoy. "I've been told I managed to wipe out modern civilization without even trying. You want to tell me--"
"The situation has been resolved," said Spock.
McCoy gestured towards the endurance tester. "You're sure you put everything back where it's supposed to be?" he asked. "We always seem to change something."
Spock considered his answer as his stamina was assessed. "Something was altered," he said at the conclusion of the test. "A sehlat died."
"A sehlat," said McCoy.
"They are commonly kept as--"
"Oh, I remember what a sehlat is. Your sehlat?"
"Yes," said Spock.
McCoy held out Spock's uniform tunic. "What's the thing Vulcans say at times like this? I...I mourn...?"
"I grieve with thee," said Spock. "But it is not said for--"
"Why the hell not?" McCoy folded his arms across his chest. "Grief is grief. And I've found there's something uniquely awful about losing a pet." He looked closely at Spock. "You had to put him down, didn't you?"
The human sounded sympathetic, but Spock saw no need to continue the discussion. "You asked what the Vulcan custom is, Doctor--"
"And I got it." McCoy rolled his eyes. "You're healthy--at least until somebody changes history again."
As he was leaving, McCoy called to him. "Yes, Doctor?"
"I do grieve with thee. Whether you like it or not."
"Only a human could use a sentiment of commiseration spitefully," said Spock.
"Sentiment?" McCoy asked. "Isn't that awfully emotional?"
***
Things continued as normal. Other than Jim, no one was aware that Spock had ever ceased to be the first officer of the Enterprise.
***
(Thelin did not cease to exist. Kirk returned to the ship with no memory of a Vulcan. Everything had gone just as expected, and Spock, son of Sarek, had never beamed aboard because Spock had been dead for over twenty years.
"You sure you're all right?" Kirk asked, and Thelin said that he was.
The incident became harder and harder to remember, but the death of a mother and child still tugged at his antennae. "I don't like it," said Thelin.
"Maybe he went back to his own timeline," said Kirk.
"Spare me your zhavey tales," said Thelin.
"Well, they must be alive somewhere," said McCoy. "Otherwise that Vulcan could never have turned up in the first place."
"I don't know if he succeeded," said Thelin. "But I still have to know that I don't belong here."
"Of course you belong here," said Kirk, who, unlike McCoy, had no memory of Commander Spock. "Where else would you be?"
Thelin couldn't answer that. He assumed he would still be in Starfleet--he'd been unable to think of any reason why Spock's existence or non-existence would have changed his decision to apply.
***
The mission ended. Thelin had been thinking of returning home--but he had somehow been able to keep his place in the world. He couldn't remember what gave him that impression. He only had the vague feeling that the way things were now wasn't the way they'd once been--but how else would they have been?
Andor would be waiting for him. For the time being, this was exactly where he was meant to be.)
Part One here.
Thelin considered the Babel conference a waste of time. He could see no reason why the flagship of the fleet was relegated to a diplomats' shuttle service--especially as this duty had placed him in the path of Ker and Taras.
Kirk shrugged. "It's an honor," he said.
"It's an insult," said Thelin.
"If the delegation is attacked--"
"And when has that ever happened?"
"The situation's especially tense this time," said Kirk. "Not everyone's in favor of the Coridan system's petition." He suddenly grinned. "Maybe we were the only ship in this sector."
"Starfleet needs more ships," said Thelin.
"It is an honor," said Kirk. "And the Enterprise is not a warship. She's a research and diplomatic vessel, and this is about as diplomatic as it gets."
"I'm not a thei," Thelin snapped.
"I'll take your word for it," said Kirk. "Did something happen?"
"No."
"It's just that you're not yourself lately," said Kirk. "You're sure?"
"I think I'm aware of what has and hasn't happened to me," said Thelin.
"The Vulcan delegation is coming aboard at ten hundred hours ship's time. I'd expect the first officer to be there, in full dress with...well, since it's the Vulcan delegation maybe a smile isn't stictly necessary."
"Yes, Captain," said Thelin. If nothing else, it had kept Kirk from asking anymore personal questions.
***
Something jabbed him in the side. Kirk assumed it was a thin finger aimed by someone with a great deal of experience. "Wake up."
"Good morning to you too," he said.
"Don't we have some Vulcans to greet?" McCoy asked.
"We can't be that late," said Kirk. "Otherwise you'd be glaring at me from out of bed."
"Maybe I want to avoid that damned dress uniform as long as possible."
Kirk glanced at the chronometer. "Well, you've got time. An excessive amount of time." He rolled onto his side, facing away from Bones, and attempted to pull the blanket over his head. "I'm going back to sleep until you're feeling friendlier. Or until it's time to greet the Vulcans." Part of the excitement of having Bones over was never knowing if he was going to have a very pleasant start to the day or if Bones was going to yank all the covers off the bed.
He tightened his grip as he felt the first pull on the blanket. "How friendly do you want me to be?" Bones asked in his ear.
"Is this a trick?"
"Maybe." Bones' hand slid over him, but didn't seem to have too much interest in sliding lower.
"My doctor told me a good night's sleep is important to my health."
"You should listen to your doctor." Bones nibbled his earlobe. "He seems like an intelligent and handsome individual."
"Don't forget modest."
Bones pinched him. "Your doctor thinks you need to get more exercise."
"Does he have any recommendations?"
"Thought you were tired?"
Since Bones' hand seemed to be taking its good sweet time, Kirk moved it for him. "Bones, how can I just ignore the medical advice of an intelligent and handsome physician?" He shifted, leaning into his intelligent, handsome, and already hard physician. "And since you woke me up at five in the god damned morning, I think you owe me a good time."
He very quickly decided it was worth being woken up at five in the god damned morning. Hell, Kirk might be willing to consider a 4 AM wake up call.
"So, can we call it even?" Bones asked.
"Now I think I might owe you?" said Kirk.
Bones yawned. "Pay me back next time."
"You haven't been sleeping?"
"Guess not enough."
Kirk looked at the chronometer again. "Still plenty of time. And we want you looking your best for the Vulcans."
"Any idea what's going on with Thelin?"
"No," said Kirk. "Something, but I couldn't get it out of him. You're worried?"
"I don't know if I should be." He sighed and pulled Kirk closer to him. "I just know something's up."
"You know how Andorians are."
"Do I? Does anybody?"
"He'll be fine," said Kirk. "Or at least he'll be in better shape than you if you sit up all night worrying about him. And, Bones, who's going to take care of me if you finally wear yourself out?"
"Taking care of you is a full time job," said Bones. "Sometimes I think I should bring in somebody else to help."
"Do you mean that?"
"Are you kidding? You think I could stand sharing you all the time? Bad enough on an away mission when somebody takes your fancy..."
"Like Yeoman Barrows? Or Leila Kalomi?"
"Well, if we're naming names..."
"I guess we don't need to keep naming names," said Kirk. "Since I think we can both agree to a little bit of sharing every once in awhile."
"Hate to deprive the poor things."
"As for another pair of hands on a regular basis," said Kirk. "I think everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is."
"Mmm."
"Except we are eventually going to have to get out of bed, put on our beloved dress uniforms, and meet the Vulcans."
(The blankets were slowly sliding away. Kirk realized they were being pulled. And there was a tongue in his ear. "Good morning, Bones."
"I believe you are mistaken, Captain."
"No, I don't believe I am." Kirk squinted at the chronometer. Somehow he'd managed to find two excellent late night/early morning companions, and they were both insomniacs. "Because the real Mr. Spock would find it highly illogical to wake somebody up at this ungodly hour by putting his tongue in their ear."
"Well, if that's how you feel--"
"I'm just pointing out the flaws in your performance," said Kirk, shifting slightly as Bones slid an arm around his waist. "I didn't mean you should stop.")
***
It was never spoken of, but it was possible for a Vulcan to die of grief.
When Amanda had left, she had not asked him to destroy their bond. Perhaps a reconciliation had been possible. Perhaps she had simply forgotten about it. Sarek rarely entered his wife's mind unless she reached through the bond first.
In her own strange idiom, Amanda had had the telepathic abilities of a brick. When he had tried to reassure her--bricks were not sentient, and she had a perfectly satisfactory mind--she had laughed. Apparently among humans it was not a grave insult to compare one's mental abilities to an inanimate, unthinking object.
Sarek had decided it would be impolite to initiate contact in the majority of cases. He was not a strong telepath, but he was stronger than Amanda, and he did not like to think he might intrude when she would have nudged him away if she could. Amanda had quickly learned how to "get his attention". Often she would think his name or, when she wished to summon him to bed, she would think incredibly imaginative scenarios at him or stand in front of a mirror before calling to him. Sarek suspected they were not of one mind as frequently as other Vulcan couples, but if he wished to know her thoughts he could look at her beautiful face or kiss her fingertips.
Perhaps she had not wanted him to touch her mind again, even to remove the bond. After the morning they had learned their son was dead, there had been no physical touch.
"This is all your fault," Amanda had told him from a doorway. She had been the one to leave their bedroom. Sarek would not have known where she slept except he had been able to hear her sobbing.
"You killed our son," she had said, and Sarek did not argue. He had come to the same conclusion. It was the only thing they could determine logically. Neither of them was capable of any other reasonable thought or action--their son was dead.
After avoiding him and telling him what he himself thought, Amanda had left. Since she had not asked him to sever their bond--perhaps she had not known that T'Pau would have done it for them--Sarek had felt the sudden loss of her death.
It was a disappointment that his father had arrived in time to draw him back. Sarek may have even expressed this disappointment. He may have fought the meld meant to save him, either with his mind or his hands.
Vulcans could grieve, but taking time to mourn was a sign of sickness. Sarek could not mourn, and so he worked. His wife and son were dead, everything that they were lost in the dust of Earth's moon or in Vulcan's desert, and he was responsible for this. Sarek knew this. He would never be able to forget this, and so he dedicated himself to his work.
Sarek thought little of his accomplishments. Without Amanda and Spock, his work was all he had, and he was not vain enough to think that someone else might not have done it. His logic was a pretense--if it were possible, he would have let a hundred planets destroy themselves if it would only return the katras of his wife and son.
Although he could never be certain--his father would never speak of the incident because to speak of it was to acknowledge it--Sarek thought his father may have said that Amanda had no katra to lose, and there was a good chance Sarek may have struck him. Not that he would ever know--in the family, all is silence.
As nothing he could do would bring his wife and their child back to him in any form, Sarek merely felt that it would have been preferable to have died when he had felt Amanda's loss.
He entered pon farr utterly unprepared. Somehow he survived this too.
When his heart began to fail, Sarek did nothing. Perhaps he would be able to accomplish his duties at the Babel conference. Perhaps he would not and someone else would.
***
Thelin had only one complaint about Starfleet's dress uniforms: his own was distastefully flesh colored.
Other than that, he could appreciate the display of it. His medals stood out clearly against the sheen of the unfortunately colored fabric. The gold trim looked significant. And if, somehow, improbably, he was forced to go to battle in such a uniform, the blood of his enemies would stand out quite nicely.
He was unimpressed with the Vulcan delegation. Thelin had little use for Vulcans. The ancient enemies of Andor didn't even have the feelers to keep up the feud and had turned pacifist. They'd even managed to become more expressionless and passionless than humans. Thelin thought he would have preferred to meet a Romulan delegation. It might have ended badly, but at least it would be more interesting.
He was especially unimpressed with Ambassador Sarek and annoyed that Kirk had selected him to give the ambassador a tour of the ship. He considered questioning this until he saw the look McCoy was giving him. Apparently he was going to have to play tour guide.
It proved to be more interesting than he had expected. Thelin had almost no interest in leading Vulcans around the ship and pointing out parts of it until he noticed that Sarek seemed to have as little interest in the whole affair as he did. Thelin watched him more carefully. He'd like to know why the Vulcan bothered at all when he clearly couldn't care less about the recreation rooms or the bridge or anything else on board. Sarek nodded in all the right places and occassionally made some appropriate comment, but somehow Thelin just knew he wanted to be somewhere else.
As they entered engineering, he carefully, cautiously reached out for his mind. Sarek looked at him sharply as he mentally closed himself off and easily swatted Thelin away.
Not as strong as Zhavey thought Thelin. Apparently he doesn't need to be. He didn't mind being bested. Everyone knew all Vulcans were telepathic, and Thelin only had one parent who was. If anything it was worth it to find a Vulcan who'd actually glare at him the way Sarek was.
As the other delegates milled around, actually interested in the engines, Sarek approached him. "Your behavior is most inethical," he said.
"Is it?" Thelin asked.
"On Vulcan we do not enter another's mind uninvited," said Sarek.
"On Andor it isn't a problem," said Thelin. "Most of us can't do it."
Sarek definitely glared at him before walking away.
Thelin felt he might enjoy the conference after all.
***
"You want the good news or the bad news?" McCoy asked.
"I assume I'm going to get both whether I want it or not," said Kirk.
"Ambassador Sarek has an alibi," said McCoy.
"Well, that's something," said Kirk.
"He's apparently had three heart attacks in about as many months," said McCoy. "He wouldn't be a threat to a kitten, let alone a full grown Tellarite."
"Will he be all right?" Kirk asked.
"I don't know, Jim," said McCoy. "Frankly I've got no business performing that kind of operation on a Vulcan."
"Bones, you may not have any choice," said Kirk. "We'll--"
McCoy shook his head. "He'd need a cryogenic open-heart procedure. It's the only way to operate on the Vulcan heart, and that kind of procedure requires tremendous amounts of blood for the patient."
Chapel reappeared. "Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"I've checked the blood bank," said Chapel. She looked grim. "There isn't enough Vulcan blood and plasma to even begin an operation of this type."
"Isn't there an entire delegation of Vulcans?" Thelin asked.
"You already got the ambassador's blood type?" McCoy asked.
Chapel nodded. "Yes, Doctor. T negative."
"Check the rest of the delegation," said McCoy. "We can just take their word for it if they are or they aren't. I assume they all know."
"Right away, Doctor."
"Jim, I still don't think--"
"Bones, you've operated on beings we've never even seen before," said Kirk. "If this is an emergency--"
"It is," said McCoy. "The next attack could be fatal. I don't think he's done a thing for it."
"Odd," said Kirk. "Doesn't seem like a Vulcan."
"I've been told certain qualities are universal male traits," said Thelin. "Medical stubborness being one of them."
"And of course you're exempt?" Kirk asked.
"Of course," said Thelin. "I'm not like you binaries, remember?"
"My apologies, Commander," said Kirk. "I've got a lot on my mind."
***
("Attending the conference is more important than--"
"Than your life?" Amanda asked.
"The benefits of successful negotiations far outweigh--"
"And what exactly would the benefits be if you dropped dead right in the middle of negotiating?"
"That would be most unfortunate," said Sarek. Seeing her expression, he added, "If you wish to engage in the human marital ritual of throwing a plate at me, you may do so."
This did not make her smile as he had hoped. "You can be so stupid sometimes," she said. Instead of being amused, she began to cry.
"Amanda," He carefully pulled her hand away from her face. "Amanda, this is why I could not tell you. You are upset."
She looked at him. Sarek always found it difficult to think logically when he saw tears on his wife's cheeks. "Yes, I'm upset," she said. "My husband has just suffered his third heart attack. My husband would rather die for galactic peace--as if he were the only diplomat on Vulcan--than live for his family. And I suppose you're going to tell me that under those circumstances it's illogical to be upset?" She pulled her hand away. "Jesus Christ, Sarek, we've only been married for thirty-seven years."
"Thirty seven point eight--"
"And you still haven't figured out that lying to me is not going to keep me from being upset?"
He kissed her damp cheek with his fingers. "Amanda, if you will agree to be my wife for another thirty seven point eight zero three years, I will try harder to 'figure it out.'"
She did not smile, but she did let him hold her. "You need rest, Sarek," she said.
"I do not--"
"You're slipping," she said, her word for when some stress made it harder for him to stay on what she called his side of their bond. "Go to bed, my husband. Otherwise I'm only going to agree to another twenty nine point three years of marriage."
"Yes, my wife.")
***
The human doctor returned. "I'm sorry," he said.
"I doubt there is any need for you to apologize, Doctor," said Sarek. "I am not aware of any wrong doing on your part."
"I'm afraid you've got the only T negative blood on board," said McCoy.
"As I suspected," said Sarek.
"I'll inform the captain we'll need to divert--"
"No," said Sarek. "This is a minor concern. I will--"
"Ambassador, if you don't have that operation, you're not going to survive long enough to make it to the conference."
Sarek watched the human's expression carefully. He found it interesting that a human he had met only a few hours ago seemed so concerned for his welfare while Sarek himself could most likely be classified as suicidal--if, of course, such a diagnosis was ever applied to Vulcans.
"I...I may have waited too long as it is," said Mccoy.
"Do not concern yourself, Doctor," said Sarek. "If anything, the fault is mine. It is, after all, my heart."
"Ambassador, I don't understand how it's logical for you to ignore something like this," said McCoy.
Sarek was not entirely sure how to answer. "Perhaps I can no longer be expected to behave logically," he said.
***
"I don't like Thelev," said Thelin. "There's some wrong about him."
"Wouldn't Shras have noticed?" Kirk asked.
Thelin shook his head. "Thelev's an aide," he said. "Shras may have barely even spoken to him."
"When you say something's wrong with him..."
"He's..." Thelin's right antenna twitched. "That's it."
"What's it?"
"He's a he," said Thelin. "He's not a thaan or a chan."
"How...how exactly can you tell?" Kirk asked. "And why wouldn't the other Andorians--"
"I've been living with you humans for years," said Thelin. "And how can you tell that Lt. Uhura is a female?"
Uhura turned in her chair. "Well, Captain?" she asked.
"It's..." Kirk cleared his throat. "I think it's...well, I think it's quite obvious that Lt. Uhura is an incredibly lovely, highly intelligent, exceptionally understanding human woman."
"Thelev is one of you two-sexed species pretending to be a thaan," said Thelin.
Kirk coughed. "How...how do you suggest we check that?"
***
Thelev smirked at him. Overconfident shreya-fucker thought he was going to get away with it.
Thelin wondered how Shras--or anyone else--could've missed it. Looking at Thelev now it seems obvious. The way he moved, the way he held himself--none of it seemed quite right, even if it had taken Thelin longer than it should have to realize just what wasn't right about him.
Now the hard part would be to prove it. Which Thelin could do easily--unfortunately it seemed you needed some proof or evidence before you strip searched delegates and their assistants. More needless bureaucracy in Thelin's opinion, but the humans didn't seem to agree with him.
Thelin had already decided that he was right. And, as a science officer, it was utterly unobjectionable for him to be using a tricorder, and everyone coming onto the ship was subject to routine scans anyway. No one would complain unless they'd been surgically altered to look like another species.
He looked down at the screen. The readings made no sense--if Thelev was Andorian, he'd be the walking dead. Thelin scrolled through a few settings until he found his answer: Orion.
He carefully set the tricorder down and lunged. The damned coward didn't see it coming. One of the Orion's fake antennae snapped off as Thelin tackled him. The imposter didn't even notice.
Thelin grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face against the floor. "Little green bastard!" he said in Andorian. He pulled Thelev up. "Do Orions have balls? Do you think I should cut yours off and feed them to you? Or did they already do that when they painted you?"
Starfleet security arrived before Thelin could really enjoy himself. By then the impulsive glee of capturing and thrashing an Orion was starting to fade, and Thelin was beginning to wonder what it meant that he'd enjoyed that more than shelthreth.
Still, the important thing was that the ship was safe--Kirk would be insufferably smug about how good it was that the Enterprise had been the one to carry the delegates, but Thelin had enjoyed himself.
***
"And if it hadn't been the Enterprise, Mr. Thelin..."
"That doesn't mean I want to spend another two weeks with this conference," said Thelin.
Kirk turned to look up at McCoy. "Any word on Ambassador Sarek?"
"I don't know enough about Vulcans," said McCoy. "Especially not how to read them. If they hadn't been Vulcans, I'd think they were shocked that Ambassador Sarek was still alive." He shook his head. "If only--"
"If only you could turn water into T negative blood?" Kirk asked. "If only heart surgery was the same for humans and Vulcans? You did what you could, Bones. It's in somebody else's hands now."
"That's probably what Dr. McCoy doesn't like," said Thelin. McCoy gave him a typical lukewarm human scowl. "You humans are all control freaks."
"Maybe we should learn to be more like Andorians," said McCoy. "You ever feel like you'd feel better after brawling in the corridors?"
Kirk laughed. "Depends on who I'm talking to," he said.
***
"If the Vians return, I've left enough information for you and the captain to finish adjusting this thing," said Thelin.
McCoy felt a sudden surge of panic as he realized what the damn fool was saying. "I'm not a mechanic," he said. "I couldn't get that thing to work no matter how many notes you left!"
"Maybe not," said Thelin, "but you and the captain together should be able to get it to work."
He can't possibly believe that, thought McCoy. "In any case, Thelin, you're the logical one to leave with the captain."
"The decision's mine," said Jim. "If there are any decisions to be made, I'll make them. If and when it becomes necessary." Even that seemed to wear him out--McCoy watched as Jim stumbled back to the small platform and practically collapsed on it.
He prepared a hypo. If he needed to--for example, if there actually was a later--he'd come up with some justification, but at the moment what mattered was that Jim wouldn't have to choose between McCoy's possible death and Thelin's certain mutilation.
"I don't need any--"
"I'm still Chief Medical Officer of the Enterprise," said McCoy. "I'll tell you what you need and when you need it." He could see the flicker of realization in Jim's eyes as the sedative kicked in. "Would you rather have the bends?" Jim slumped. "That's it--just lie down and relax."
"You know," Thelin said as McCoy looked down at Jim, "now it's my decision."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" McCoy asked.
"That you'll stay here and take care of your unconscious patient," said Thelin.
If it were possible to give a hypo to an Andorian, McCoy wouldn't have bothered to argue. "I told you, I can't figure that thing out! The only chance--"
"You'll have to," said Thelin. "Even you can't be that technologically inept."
"The odds're in my favor," said McCoy. "You--"
"You have a martyr complex," said Thelin. "I find it incredibly irritating. So, no, I'm not going to let you attempt suicide--again--just so you can pretend you're some kind of guardian."
"So you're going to let them torture you just to spite me?" McCoy asked. "Are you out of your Andorian mind?"
Thelin turned--those antennae of his had picked up on the Vians before McCoy's eyes could see them. "I will be going," he said and disappeared.
"God dammit," McCoy muttered.
(It was much easier to sneak up on a Vulcan than McCoy would've thought.
Spock jumped like he'd been stung by a bee. "Your action is highly inethical," he said. "My decision stands."
McCoy could've argued the numbers. He could've asked if it was so damn inethical then why did Spock appreciate it when he'd done it to Jim? He sure would've liked to hear what ridiculous, so called "logical" explanations Spock would've pulled out of his green ass, but they didn't have time for that.
"Not this time, Spock," he said.)
***
It was worse than anything in all the freezing hells. At least the beings there deserved what happened to them.
Thelin felt hands on him, lifting him, removing the shackles that had scraped the skin off his wrists. He felt this even before his single antenna noticed the prescence of other beings.
"It's us," said Kirk. "Everything's going to be all right."
"Kill them," said Thelin. He seemed to be floating, and then there was something under his bruised back. He couldn't even feel one of his legs, but that was probably for the best. "Cut off their dangling genitals. Feed them to their shreyas."
"Don't talk. Don't speak," said Kirk. "Take it easy until we get you back to the ship."
It was bad enough they'd tortured him, but taking his antenna was worse than killing him. It was an insult. A reminder that he was helpless and weaker and that they could do anything they wanted to him.
There was a hand on his wrist--he still seemed to have all of his limbs. Maybe. There was the leg he couldn't feel. Thelin wanted to sit up and look, but the rest of his body was too heavy, and there was a hand on his shoulder.
"Lie still," said McCoy.
Thelin's arm--the arm twisted uselessly against his chest, the arm that had throbbed with white cold pain as he'd hung there forever--burned. "You zhavey lacking coward!" Thelin spat. "Leave me alone! There's no point!"
"It's all right," said Kirk. "Bones is just--"
"I'm not--" Thelin started to cough. "Not your thei, Kirk. Don't touch me again unless you've got--" This time it felt like he was coughing up his liver. "Unless you've got the feelers, McCoy."
As soon as he felt that they had moved away, Thelin regretted it. He wished he'd kept his mouth shut--even though he couldn't tell how long it had been since he'd cursed them. It was bad enough that he had no quad and never saw his clan; he didn't want to die alone.
"...actually worse than he looks. Severe organ failure. Broken bones. The strain has sent his metabolism into overdrive--if he weren't hurt so bad he'd be telling us he's hungry."
I should be hungry Thelin realized. He didn't think he could keep food down, but he couldn't remember when he'd last eaten. Not that he even knew how long they'd been down there or how long the Vians had been pulling him apart.
He felt hands on him, and then a sudden absence of pain. The alien McCoy had named Gem. She hesitated, then brought her wrists to his face. Thelin hadn't even realized they'd done something to his eyes until she stroked his battered face and he could see again.
If she stopped now, he'd be just healthy enough to leave a nice looking corpse.
Half panicked, half mercenary, he called out to her with his mind. Don't stop. You have to help me.
She was alone and frightened. They--the Vians--had taken her away from everyone. He was the first who could actually speak to her instead of making noises at her.
I'm alone too Thelin told her. Please don't let me die like this. You want to help me.
Later he couldn't be sure how strong the suggestions were or if he'd even reached her mind at all. Sick and in pain, he might have been willing to force her to help him. He might have been too weak and confused to do anything other than dream it.
The pain faded and faded until it was just an ache in his side. His absent leg was only numb. He reached for Gem's mind and found nothing.
He heard the whir of a medical tricorder. "I'll be damned," McCoy murmured.
Maybe I am Thelin thought. It was a strange thought for him, but he'd never be sure if he'd manipulated the woman or not. "Gem," he said.
"She's dead,"McCoy said softly. "It's not your fault."
Something in his expression must have given him away. "You can't blame yourself," said McCoy. The worst thing was that Thelin knew he wouldn't. Even a wounded soldier fought to survive.
They helped him to sit up. "He'll be fine," McCoy said. "Still need to spend some time in sickbay, but he should make a full recovery."
"I hate it when you do that," said Thelin. "I'm right here."
Kirk grinned, but his eyes looked tired. "Sounds like he's already made a full recovery." He put an arm around Thelin's shoulders and made an odd squeezing motion. Thelin realized that this was meant to be affectionate. "Think you can walk?"
Thelin shrugged him off. "Of course I can walk." He stood, wincing at a sharp pain in his side.
"Careful," said McCoy. "Still got--"
"Yes, I noticed," said Thelin. He deigned to let the humans stand near him, but avoided their assistance as much as possible. Something about their doting annoyed him.
***
(There was just enough contact that Spock could feel Jim's anger and fear, both emotions heightened by the captain's awareness that he could do nothing. Spock would not admit to experiencing either emotion. If he felt anything, it was frustration that he had failed to predict and prevent McCoy's behavior.
McCoy was in pain, slightly confused. There was a vague hint of understanding/acceptance--as if something finally made sense to him. Spock did not like this. He did not know what it might mean, but it suggested something quite negative. He could not risk a meld to find the answer. Under other circumstances he would have accepted the risk to himself, but both his friends needed him to function.
"He's dying," said Spock. "We can make him comfortable, but that is all."
"You don't know," said Jim. "You're not a doctor."
Spock had no reply, other than to continue to list McCoy's injuries. He suspected that both he and the captain assumed that, had it been one of them lying there, McCoy would have been able to do something. Spock found himself convinced of this even as he stated all the reasons why it was impossible.
"He's right, Jim," said McCoy.
Spock could understand Jim's anger as they sat on either side of McCoy and waited for the latest coughing fit to pass. What he could not understand was why so many "highly advanced" beings wished to play these cruel games.
"You've got a good bedside manner, Spock," said McCoy. Spock dreaded the moment when he would begin to ask them to kill him.)
***
Once in sickbay, Thelin essentially collaspsed onto a bio-bed.
"Stubborn jackass," McCoy muttered.
He was too tired to complain as McCoy and Chapel discussed his condition while they waved tricorders over him and cut off his uniform tunic. The pain was still there in his side, dull and throbbing, but he knew it could have been much worse.
He'd been spending too much time around humans--the empath had offered help; he'd taken it. No Andorian would dwell on it. And it must have been better than dying with the rest of the planet.
At some point he must have dozed--he could hear McCoy quietly explaining the away mission to Chapel.
"...lost him if it weren't for her," McCoy was saying. "Christ, you'd never know." He met Thelin's gaze. "But you're still staying here under observation for at least a night."
"Doctor, you are a sadist," said Thelin.
"You bet your antennae I am." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I've got to tell Starfleet what the hell happened down there. Standard observation, Nurse. Knock him out if he starts to get mouthy."
***
("What the hell's the matter with you?" Jim asked once the Vians had taken Gem and left them alone.
"I don't know if anything is," said McCoy.
"You pushed her away," said Jim. "The one person who could help you, and--"
"Jim, I couldn't."
The humans looked at each other for a moment, both of them almost utterly motionless on the small padded table. Finally, Jim's shoulders slumped. "I know." He rubbed his face with his hands. "I know. Except I don't. I don't understand it at all." He put his arm around McCoy.
Spock determined that it would be useless to object to his sedation. The doctor would only give him the same agonized look he had just given Jim and some variation of, "I couldn't." Spock had no objections to this. Upon reflection, he accepted it as an accurate answer.
If necessary Spock would persuade the captain that that particular incident need not be reported at all. It would be sufficient for Starfleet to know that McCoy had been captured.
"If you ever do anything like this again," Jim began and seemed unable to complete the thought.
McCoy reached for Jim's hand. "Let's just go home, Jim boy."
Both Jim and McCoy looked up at Spock. They had both been healed of their injuries, but both humans still looked tired. "How about it, Spock?" Jim asked. "Think you can get us out of here?"
"Yes, Captain," Spock said because his friends expected and needed him to.)
***
Thelin slept--without Chapel's assistance. When he awoke, the lights had been dimmed, and McCoy had returned.
"This is not necessary," said Thelin.
"Of course it is," said McCoy without looking up from the data padd in his hands. "Somebody's got to keep an eye on you."
There was someone sleeping in one of the other beds. "And them?"
"Jim's had a long day too." McCoy sighed. "Physically he's fit as a fiddle, but...sometimes I think Jim's more afraid of being alone than of being sick." He walked over to the sleeping human and put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what it was like to be strung up like that, but...Jim needs some company."
"And if I wasn't stuck in here, he'd be in your bed?" Thelin asked without thinking.
"Careful," said McCoy. "That's how rumors get started." Without taking his hand off Kirk, he looked over his shoulder at Thelin. "Maybe he thought you could use some company too."
Thelin considered this possibility. But he also knew his snide, impulsive guess was right. He didn't know how he knew or exactly what it might mean, but somehow he had guessed it.
***
(Jim was already in McCoy's quarters when Spock let himself in. The doctor was already asleep, one arm draped over the captain.
"I do not know if my behavior is entirely logical," Spock said quietly. He could not be certain if he would have made such an admission if McCoy had been able to hear him.
"Of course it is," said Kirk. "You've said you can't behave in a way that isn't logical, so anything you do has to be the logical thing to do."
Jim's logic was correct. Unfortunately the first part of the statement was not entirely correct.
"I'm here for perfectly logical reasons," said Jim. He shifted slightly, and McCoy's arm tightened around him. "I couldn't sleep."
"You are not asleep," said Spock.
"Well, somebody needed to explain how logical you're being," said Jim. "Spock, he's not--all right, he'll complain, but that's just because he's Bones."
Spock watched the humans for a few moments before deciding that it would be illogical for him to simply return to his own quarters after taking the time to walk to and enter McCoy's.
He undressed, neatly folding his uniform tunic and pants and placing them on a chair. Jim--and only Jim--had left a trail of clothing.
Despite his best efforts, Spock was unable to join the humans without waking McCoy. The doctor turned just enough to look at him. "Hey."
Spock did not know the acceptable response to this. McCoy's tone and inflection indicated it was the form of greeting or relaxed call for attention rather than the interjection or objection.
Apparently a response was not required. "Glad you're here," said McCoy.
"Doctor, you require rest," said Spock. "Your statement suggests that you are suffering from severe exhaustion."
"Damn Vulcan.")
***
Spock emerged from the Guardian. Jim appeared to have been describing their observation of the Orion civilization, but had stopped. "What's the matter? Bones?"
"Who's he, Jim?" McCoy asked.
"What do you mean, who's he? You know Mr. Spock."
McCoy looked at Spock without recognition. "Afraid I don't, Jim."
If this were a game or a practical joke, it was atypical of McCoy. Spock could see no sign of amusement, and it was rare that McCoy could conceal his emotions so thoroughly. It also seemed unlikely that such a prank would continue without Jim being "in on it" or joining in the game.
***
Spock was not entirely sure how to categorize his assessment of Thelin. He did not like that someone had taken his place. He did not think he would like to know just how thoroughly he had been replaced by the Andorian.
This was illogical. McCoy--and presumably the Kirk who had known the Andorian for five years--could not be considered to have replaced him, if they indeed had, as they had never known him to begin with.
"Yes, I remember all that," McCoy was saying. "I just don't remember him!"
"Captain, the presence of Commander Thelin and the behavior of the crew suggests that it is not possible to 'help' Dr. McCoy's memory," said Spock. "I do not exist and therefore those memories do not exist."
"Finally somebody's making sense around here," said McCoy. Spock raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"It is unimportant," said Spock.
"Bones," said Jim.
"I'm sorry, Jim," said McCoy. "I swear I never laid eyes on him until he came out of the Guardian." He looked at Spock, again without any sign of familiarity. "Far as I know there's never even been a Vulcan in Starfleet."
***
Thelin was not entirely sure what to think of the Vulcan. He briefly wondered if the Vulcan had done something to Kirk's mind--rewritten his memories and convinced him that Thelin was a stranger and Spock was a trusted officer. But that theory didn't fit. Thelin had little use for Vulcans, but he found it hard to believe that one would brainwash a starship captain just to...that was part of the problem. If it was a trick, Thelin couldn't understand what the goal was.
He quickly skimmed some of the files before passing the research onto Bates. There didn't seem to be any possible motive or anything of interest. According to Starfleet records, there was no Commander Spock, but Thelin could've told them that. Bates could make sure this wasn't some disgruntled Vulcan waste removal technician trying to steal a command position (unlikely as that was), and Bates could figure out if the Vulcan was using a fake name (also incredibly unlikely).
Why aren't I surprised? he thought when he practically tripped over the Vulcan as he entered the turbolift.
Spock only glanced at him before turning back to McCoy. "It is possible."
"I never said it was impossible," said McCoy. "I'm saying I can't do it. That right there is the only non-human patient I've got."
"That?" said Thelin.
McCoy rolled his eyes. "The delightful Mr. Thelin, who, as you may have noticed, is an Andorian, is the only non-human I have had the pleasure to treat. And since you were the one to bring up Romulans--"
"The captain's suggestion," said Spock. "He assumes you would be able to confirm--"
"Why the hell would he think that?"
"Because under different circumstances, you would be able to make such a distinction."
McCoy turned to Thelin. "He's not Romulan."
"You just said--"
The human glanced at the Vulcan, who nodded. "A Romulan his age wouldn't have human factors in his blood," said McCoy. "So, I've confirmed what Jim already seems to know." The turbolift stopped.
"This is the wrong floor," said Thelin.
"I've got a patient," said McCoy. "Call down and Chapel'll send up the extensive documentation proving Mr. Spock's existence."
"Extensive?" Thelin blocked the door with his arm. "I found--"
"That's what you get when you delegate too much. And when you don't study genetics."
Thelin let the door close. He'd either get the information out of the Vulcan or hear it at the meeting Kirk had called. "So you're one of them?" he asked.
Spock raised an eyebrow--it reminded Thelin of McCoy's narrow range of expression. "I am Vulcan."
As they entered the conference room, Thelin realized the Vulcan hadn't quite answered his question.
He listened to Bates' summary of the Vulcan's family. Thelin thought he almost saw some reaction in Spock when Bates said that Sarek's wife had died in a shuttle accident. It seemed strange, but so was a Vulcan-human hybrid. Thelin hadn't been aware there were such beings--not that he gave anymore thought to binary mating than he absolutely had to.
Her death bothers him more than his own Thelin decided. Possibly because he is here to be bothered.. Spock was a stranger who'd appeared out of nowhere to try to claim Thelin's place...but Thelin could respect a being who loved his zhavey.
***
The planet was dead and barren. It had always struck Thelin as the sort of place where there should be wind blowing that wretched dust around, but it was so burnt out there wasn't even a breeze. The place was stagnant; Thelin would be glad to leave it, even if meant he was no longer anywhere at all.
"If you stay on the planet, you won't be affected," said Kirk.
"Trying to get rid of me?" Thelin asked.
"If you can do Mr. Spock's job, we'd be lucky to have you," said Kirk.
Not 'replace Mr. Spock' Thelin noted.
"But it'd be like it was for Spock," said Kirk. "No one would know who you are or that you'd been with the ship for years. If I hadn't been here on the planet, I wouldn't have remembered Spock either." This seemed to bother the human. "I don't think I'd be able to stand it."
"You're certain his mother will survive?" Thelin asked.
"Oh, yes," said Kirk. "I've met her." He looked at Thelin. "We aren't close, are we?"
"For Andorians, there's one's family and one's quad," said Thelin. "We are neither."
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" Thelin was genuinely curious. "What did you expect?"
"I expected to come back and find my ship just as I'd left her," said Kirk. "If you don't want to be stuck, you'd better go. Spock should be back any second now. And I'm sorry we couldn't be closer."
Thelin beamed back to the Enterprise. He wondered if he'd simply continue as if this had never happened or suddenly be somewhere else.
***
Spock and his younger self returned home without I-Chaya. "I must leave soon after we return," said Spock.
"Will you come back?" his younger self asked. His eyes were still green-rimmed from crying, and he seemed to be struggling to master these emotions before he would have to face Sarek.
"I do not think so," said Spock. "But...perhaps you will see me again." He wondered if he should risk altering the timeline further by saying more.
"I will go with you," his younger self said.
"You will not,"
"Why not?" his younger self asked and blushed bright green. It took Spock a moment to realize why the young Vulcan had responded in such a way. It must have seemed a very human response to a child who had only Vulcans to compare himself to.
"Someday you will meet other beings who will understand you," said Spock. "Or who will at least be willing to accept you even when they cannot completely understand you. If I take you with me, you will be unable to meet them." This was essentially a lie, but it would be impossible to explain. "And it would make the Lady Amanda sad if you did not come home. That is why you must be more careful in the future."
***
As expected, he and Jim were the only ones aware that the past had briefly changed. If Spock used this information to attempt to provoke McCoy, it was only to confirm that the good doctor was unaware of the timeline.
"All right, spill it," McCoy said three minutes into Spock's routine physical.
"Spill it," Spock repeated. "What is it that I am expected to spill?"
"You don't normally blather on about hypothetical Andorians," said McCoy. "So you want to explain why I'd have to recalibrate for an Andorian if times were different, or should I tack on a psych evaluation too?"
Spock "spilled it." He was actually the visiting relative who had saved his life as a child. When Vulcan history was replayed while he was observing Orion, he was unable to rescue himself. He had died, and an Andorian had become the Enterprise's first officer. Spock had returned and performed the necessary actions in his own past.
"Good God," McCoy said.
"Doctor, I believe this is where you would express your approval of the altered timeline," said Spock.
"I'm just overwhelmed by the possibility of a Vulcan-free Enterprise," said McCoy. "Why exactly are we still using that damn thing?"
"The potential for research--"
"You apparently managed to get yourself killed this afternoon," said McCoy. "I've been told I managed to wipe out modern civilization without even trying. You want to tell me--"
"The situation has been resolved," said Spock.
McCoy gestured towards the endurance tester. "You're sure you put everything back where it's supposed to be?" he asked. "We always seem to change something."
Spock considered his answer as his stamina was assessed. "Something was altered," he said at the conclusion of the test. "A sehlat died."
"A sehlat," said McCoy.
"They are commonly kept as--"
"Oh, I remember what a sehlat is. Your sehlat?"
"Yes," said Spock.
McCoy held out Spock's uniform tunic. "What's the thing Vulcans say at times like this? I...I mourn...?"
"I grieve with thee," said Spock. "But it is not said for--"
"Why the hell not?" McCoy folded his arms across his chest. "Grief is grief. And I've found there's something uniquely awful about losing a pet." He looked closely at Spock. "You had to put him down, didn't you?"
The human sounded sympathetic, but Spock saw no need to continue the discussion. "You asked what the Vulcan custom is, Doctor--"
"And I got it." McCoy rolled his eyes. "You're healthy--at least until somebody changes history again."
As he was leaving, McCoy called to him. "Yes, Doctor?"
"I do grieve with thee. Whether you like it or not."
"Only a human could use a sentiment of commiseration spitefully," said Spock.
"Sentiment?" McCoy asked. "Isn't that awfully emotional?"
***
Things continued as normal. Other than Jim, no one was aware that Spock had ever ceased to be the first officer of the Enterprise.
***
(Thelin did not cease to exist. Kirk returned to the ship with no memory of a Vulcan. Everything had gone just as expected, and Spock, son of Sarek, had never beamed aboard because Spock had been dead for over twenty years.
"You sure you're all right?" Kirk asked, and Thelin said that he was.
The incident became harder and harder to remember, but the death of a mother and child still tugged at his antennae. "I don't like it," said Thelin.
"Maybe he went back to his own timeline," said Kirk.
"Spare me your zhavey tales," said Thelin.
"Well, they must be alive somewhere," said McCoy. "Otherwise that Vulcan could never have turned up in the first place."
"I don't know if he succeeded," said Thelin. "But I still have to know that I don't belong here."
"Of course you belong here," said Kirk, who, unlike McCoy, had no memory of Commander Spock. "Where else would you be?"
Thelin couldn't answer that. He assumed he would still be in Starfleet--he'd been unable to think of any reason why Spock's existence or non-existence would have changed his decision to apply.
***
The mission ended. Thelin had been thinking of returning home--but he had somehow been able to keep his place in the world. He couldn't remember what gave him that impression. He only had the vague feeling that the way things were now wasn't the way they'd once been--but how else would they have been?
Andor would be waiting for him. For the time being, this was exactly where he was meant to be.)