(no subject)

[lovelysuspicion]

Thanks Mom!

Thanks for making me so excited about the future -- and OH, of course for NOT making me want to cry every time I come to your house, even for one night.

Thanks for taking away my chance to see the West Coast of Canada and for forcing me into a decision for this summer that was not mine.

Thanks for constantly reminding me we don't have a lot of money, and for making me feel guilty for every cent I've ever spent.

Thanks for putting so much fucking pressure of me for scholarships.

Thanks for being practical enough to draw up a budget for the next four years of my life, and for not forgetting to underline (literally) the fact that I will have to hold down a well-paying job for me to be able to afford any of it.
Thanks for having reminded me of that every day for the past two years.

Thanks for not acknowledging the sacrifice I've made in having a job since the time I was 14 so I wouldn't have to be so worried when the time came to pay for university. I know you've made sacrifices too -- more than I have. But it's hard to think this coming year will be okay when you take every opportunity to remind me about our financial trouble.

Thanks for making me feel guilty about living at Dad's, and for letting him buy me things. I know you've never come to terms with the fact that he DOESN'T think it's a terrible thing to give his daughter a gift every now and then, or to get her things she needs. I know you don't understand the value of things like that.

Thank you for still having the painting I gave you rolled up in a corner of the front room.

I'm sorry.
I love you.
I do.
But you make things harder than they have to be.
You make life seem colder than it is.

But seriously, thank you.
You're making my decision to move across the country easier every time I talk to you.

Love, your faithful daughter,
Neta