(no subject)
Out of all the times and places, I think it is easy to say at which time and place I most dislike crying. Even more so than the public spectacle, even more so than any sort of which way it happens, I, above all else, hate crying in the morning. When those first thoughts enter the mind and you open your eyes only to find tears immediately rushing out, almost as if they had been trapped all night long. I cried in the shower today. Always a fascinating event. One never gets dry that way, no matter how many towels, no matter how hard you sand your skin into compliance. And I know the tears will now be a constant nag to the rest of my day. Please fix it. Please fix it. Please fix it. As though I could somehow be "fixed". Ah, it will never work. Now that's depressing. "It's okay; you're okay. It's okay; you're okay. It's okay; you're okay." But I'm not.