i'm only happy when i'm with you (oneshot)
i'm only happy when i'm with you
l/woori [myungsoo/woori]
PG ~1397w
no one spoke. not a word, only a steady pattern of breathing filtered the air. silence wrapped like a constricting strangle around their bodies and especially their voices. music played though, neither paid much mind to the party going on outside. they were much too concentrated on the topic at hand.
"you said you'd be happy for me, whatever happened, whoever i was with-" her eyes flickered, hurt clearly revolving around her auburn dark eyes. her mind was trying to understand the situation but all she could do was feel the emotion rather than the reason behind it.
he grunted, looking away forcibly- he couldn't look at her, not when her eyes so deeply would wound him for doing this to her. but at least it wasn't half the hurt that she was causing him. "i lied. when i said that i would be happy if you were- i lied, i did it to make you happy. hell, woori- i tried to be happy." the cracks in his face began to show, the contours of his tensing jaw tightening. the shield of tears glazing his eyes were revealing, shifting a bit to start to fall, slow and silently while he talked.
"tried so hard that i found i could never be happy unless you were the one i was with, not those countless other girls i tried to get with."
her breath was stolen, held tightly in her lungs. her head turned back to look down at the bathroom counter where she was standing. if she looked up, she could see myungsoo clearly in the corner of the small laboratory. the hard pounding of house music shook the walls but all woori could really hear was the quiet pitter patter of tears.
a steady flow was on her on face. when she started to cry as well was a mystery to her as well. the diamond on her left hand glittered, what was she doing? if she was logically thinking, she would have gotten out of there as fast as possible but no, she stayed. stayed like a fool, lost and drowned in confusion.
then suddenly he wrapped his arms around her, eyes closed shut in a tight lock while the tears fell against the velvet fabric of her dress, her shoulder housing his eyes for the full minute that passed before she started struggling. though he could tell it was a half-hearted attempt from how he knew, remembered, she could easily flip him on his back and keep him to the floor, her taekwondo classes as kid proved she was much stronger than she looked. but now, why she was still keeping up the facade of refusing him, it blurred his mind."myungsoo, i..."
she couldn't bring herself to complete her sentence. what more could she say, all the work she went through in trying to forget him and her feeling for the other would go to waste. the late nights laying awake in a delusional state would all but shatter if she answered her heart and him.
he was always determined, always sure and forward in mind. it went off tilt whenever it came to her and by that, it was what scared him the most. even when they agreed to end such emotions six months ago, it caused him to go into a down spiral, even further off the track of correction. he was more lost now without her than when he was with her.
"don't tell me you're happy with him, don't tell me you're happy like this. it'll just hurt more." his arms tightened their grip around her, arms clutched around her own, his lips brushing the revealing curve of her ear as he spoke. "you're not happy, are you, woori?"
that was where she was dumbstruck. lost on what to say, confused to the point where she felt that it was bordering insanity. what was she to say? what was she to do? her mind, body and heart were all fighting with each other. her answer was muffled against the confines of her throat. restricted from leaving. was her answer yes or no, there wasn't a chance for maybe in this situation. she knew if she tried that, he would just disregard it and ask again - he was always a persistent bloke.
a pounding at the door made a yelp sound instead of the awaited answer. woori's body jumped at the harsh knocking that came from the door of the bathroom. a intoxicated voice gargled a response, angry and impatient to them. the surprise etched on her and myungsoo's face made it easy for her to push him away, opening the door of the small laboratory, cutting the person mid-sentence as they ranted to get into the restroom.
she weaved through the throngs of people, many of them were oblivious of her prescience, a select few had been tugging at her sleeved but she resisted, she needed to get out of here. her heels teetered as fast as they could out the door, clicking against the pavement in a fast motion, hands rummaging her pockets for her car keys. that was when she remembered, she had come with a friend.
selecting a random car, she couldn't quite give a fuck, frankly who's car it was - tough luck. holding the roof, she hit her head roughly to it, she could feel the loss of brain cells from that one aim, but it was easing to her brain - somewhat. even throughout the pounding of her head from what she had just done, she could hear the smash of the cobblestone under a weight that could only be identified as human. she didn't turn around though. she just waited, and waited and waited -but no voice came.
her eyes opened, one by one, taking in the sight of the dark night and herself that reflected off the misty window of the car, from a distance she could see him as well. waiting behind her, gazing at her though not asking her anything, not breathing a word. was he even breathing at all? from what she could see it didn't look as so.
her fingers touched the glass. the pad of her index drawing a specific two letter word.
아니
and here she waited for him to read it, to come closer while she hung her head in shame. the ring that was glittering as such a monumental achievement on her hand was now a useless arrangement that only she allowed to make others happy but herself - she was far from it.
a broken whisper reached his ears, "i'm only happy when i'm with you." the clink of gold met the cold black floor.
and by this he could tell, she truly meant it. not by how her words edged that she was crying, not by how he had seen the word she had written on the window of that car she was in front of. but by how she was now looking at him, eyes a marveling but gorgeous pair of hazel, an auburn glaze coloring the rims to blend them into the most amazing set he had ever let his eyes take in.
they were full of love, not the lust they had both agreed it was when they broke up. it was the love they were blindly ignoring and in denial of.
how could they allow themselves to not see it sooner, it didn't matter anymore. all that mattered now was what they knew at the present, how they'll fix it in the future and to forget their silly mistakes of the past. the space between them ceased. a dim light burning off the house's porch shadowed their dark figures with the little amount of light while the crescent moon sheathed them with a smile of darkness. the night housed two people. one who had her arms around the boy, eyes twinkling with that emotion everyone searched their life for. the other was kissing her back with the heated passion of a lost lover's reunited union. a kiss to never let go, not even when happiness could no longer be found. because who knows? happiness could be there, just hiding for someone with the deepest and most precious love to find it.
and that was what these two have.
they have love.
notes ; don't you just love them? ; ~ ;
