Oct 18, 2006 08:08
It's too early in the morning for me. I'm going to go insane if I keep having to wake up early on my day off to move my car so it doesn't get towed. I don't think that it helped that i stayed up until 2 in the morning talking to Nate, We had a really good conversation. We talked about what kind of things we did when we were little. I miss being young and not having a care in the world. I loved how being a little kid your imagination is so brilliant, but when you get older it starts to fall apart or seem dumb. I remembered all the crazy things that I did when I was younger. Like when I was in the second grade I got in a fist fight with a 3rd grade boy because he called my mother a whore. Or just playing football with the guys at my apartment complex. Even riding a radio flyer all the way down a very large hill. It was just so much fun; I wouldn't change it for the world. Then as you grow older everything becomes more adult like. It's a scary adult world too. I was remembering when I always wish that I could grow up and know I would take that statement back in a heart beat. When you grow older people around you at school start to die, responsibilities become greater, money plays a bigger factor in your life, and most of all you start to lose your innocence. All throughout high school I new too many people that died for really dumb reasons and some weren't that dumb. Now I realize that life is too short when I look at all the people at my school who had died. I feel like I have to talk about it because my heart has been feeling really heavy lately. My first encounter of losing a school mate happened during the summer after I graduated 8th grade was going to start my first year at high school. Two weeks before school started and I get a call from my friend , Breanna. She told me that Latasha Jones had died in a car accident when her mother lost control of the wheel coming home from a camping trip. I was thinking No that kind of stuff can't happen to us. We are too young. I remember seeing Latasha after our 8th grade graduation and hugging each other "Yeah we made it!! " she told me as we took pictures and exchanged hugs. We were so excited to be leaving middle school. I can't believe that someone so pure and nice as her had to be taken away. How does that happen? On the second day of high school, I was walking down the hall to get another textbook because they gave me the wrong one and I saw someone down the hall that i knew. It was Latasha! I smiled and asked how her summer was. The girl asked if she had known me and that's when the fact that i realize that Latasha was gone forever. Not just for a little while, but she was never going to come back. Then at the beginning of my sophomore year 3 people died in less than a week from each other. One girl name chelsea Carpenter, died by choking on her on vomit after an overdose on oxycontin. About two days later a boy that I had in many of my class got in a car accident with his friend. I felt so bad after he died because he tormented me my freshman year and I in return would secretly wish bad things upon him. I was thinking after he had died that i hope it wasn't because something I said about 4 months ago. Now I believe that I have bad karma on my soul. I wish that i would have never said those things about him. These are the times that I wish that I could back to being younger so I would have a care in the world.......