I strongly advise against obtaining a pet unless both you and your spouse are fully willing to commit to the endeavour. Experience tells me it will cause too much friction otherwise. Under no circumstances are you to get a dog and surprise him with it.
Sincerely,
Takeshi Nakamura
PS: If you absolutely must follow through despite my severe warning, I recommend "How to Raise the Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood and Beyond" [Kindle Edition] by Cesar Millan. Skimpy lingerie also helps.
Hello V, the best hangover cure is another drink before your body has time to realise that it ought to feel bad. Stay away from the sugary stuff - it will not have the desired effect. Whiskey usually helps. Best, Ando
Suppose I was going on a date with a man--a "man-date" if you will. How do I dress for such an occasion if there is no lavender in my wardrobe? Are cufflinks required? What topics should I breach on my man-date? Will third-party passerbys think us romantically linked?
the level of inappropriateness apparent in your letters leads me to deduce that the colleague you are referring to is one Ando Tanaka. Pay no heed to his foolishness.
It is universally known that a man who makes an effort to look respectable in his day-to-day outings will also go to great lengths to present an equally impressive picture during all important life events, be they in private or public.
the answer is simple: I have a wife whom I love very much. You can train your dog not to shit and pee inside the house, but I'm afraid there's nothing to be done about the drooling and the shedding. Vacuum once a day. A clean house will get you laid. Trust me.
Best,
Hiro Nakamura
PS: The puking is a concern for worry! Dogs should not puke. Don't give them too much human food unless you own one of the following breeds: mutts, basset hounds, or beagles. They can eat everything.
for easy nutritional upkeep during study periods I recommend apples, coffee, and almost burned toast with salted butter.
Best and good luck with the papers,
Umino
PS: I was recently advised to not leave the used coffee mugs with the apple cores standing around for too long as some people find the whole thing with new cultures growing in them slightly disgusting. If you study biology, this might actually be a good thing though. Right?
Comments 62
I want a puppy but my bf says that we don't have the room or spare time to train it. I disagree. How do I change his mind?
Dear Ando:
What is your best hangover cure?
Dear Umino:
What's that smell?
Dear Hiro:
What is your opinion of IKEA? I know a friend who just bought a couch.
Reply
I strongly advise against obtaining a pet unless both you and your spouse are fully willing to commit to the endeavour. Experience tells me it will cause too much friction otherwise. Under no circumstances are you to get a dog and surprise him with it.
Sincerely,
Takeshi Nakamura
PS: If you absolutely must follow through despite my severe warning, I recommend "How to Raise the Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood and Beyond" [Kindle Edition] by Cesar Millan. Skimpy lingerie also helps.
Reply
Reply
the best hangover cure is another drink before your body has time to realise that it ought to feel bad. Stay away from the sugary stuff - it will not have the desired effect. Whiskey usually helps.
Best, Ando
Reply
Suppose I was going on a date with a man--a "man-date" if you will. How do I dress for such an occasion if there is no lavender in my wardrobe? Are cufflinks required? What topics should I breach on my man-date? Will third-party passerbys think us romantically linked?
Are we?
Your loyal subject,
V
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I have heard from a colleague of yours that compulsive tie-wearing is an indicator of microgenitalia. Is he right?
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the level of inappropriateness apparent in your letters leads me to deduce that the colleague you are referring to is one Ando Tanaka. Pay no heed to his foolishness.
It is universally known that a man who makes an effort to look respectable in his day-to-day outings will also go to great lengths to present an equally impressive picture during all important life events, be they in private or public.
Make of that what you will.
Sincerely,
Takeshi Nakamura
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Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. i'd fuck me so hard lolololol
<3 your bestest buddy Ando
PS: everyone can read this, you know. giant wanker!
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stop it or I will invite your mother and her poodle to stay at your flat for all eternity.
Takeshi
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Shoot the team a question, and let's see whether we can bring you back from the dead with EVEN MORE LAUGHTER.
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Dear Mr. Nakamura, dogs drool, shed, pee, and puke everywhere. How do you keep your home so immaculately clean?
Dear Umino, you're clearly familiar with the student lifestyle. What do you eat? How do you sustain yourself through late night paper writing?
Sincerely, Ellorgast.
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packing light is an art form, but one that can be learned if you are male. If your are a woman, all hope is lost. Sorry.
Best,
Ando Tanaka
Reply
the answer is simple: I have a wife whom I love very much. You can train your dog not to shit and pee inside the house, but I'm afraid there's nothing to be done about the drooling and the shedding. Vacuum once a day. A clean house will get you laid. Trust me.
Best,
Hiro Nakamura
PS: The puking is a concern for worry! Dogs should not puke. Don't give them too much human food unless you own one of the following breeds: mutts, basset hounds, or beagles. They can eat everything.
Reply
for easy nutritional upkeep during study periods I recommend apples, coffee, and almost burned toast with salted butter.
Best and good luck with the papers,
Umino
PS: I was recently advised to not leave the used coffee mugs with the apple cores standing around for too long as some people find the whole thing with new cultures growing in them slightly disgusting. If you study biology, this might actually be a good thing though. Right?
Reply
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