FIC: Silence (RPF CrissColfer PG)
Title: Silence
Author: LovelyLadyLooks
Warnings: slash, RPS Crisscolfer
Summary: Another angsty story but this time with an open/happy end :)
Rating: PG
Author Notes: I just used Darren Criss and Chris Colfer as “stand-ins” for this story. No harm is meant and I don't know Chris nor Darren. This was just written for entertaining purposes. Please don’t tweet/email/send/etc this to the actors. I only wrote this for me, not to insult anyone.
Music: I was listening to a German song (I grew up in a multi-lingual environment) and it really touched something in me. The song/the music video doesn’t really have a happy ending but after my last really angsty story (Nevermind, I’ll find) Someone like You, I though an open/potentially happy ending would be fitting for this fic :)
Silence
Silence.
It takes a while to get used to it again. Well, more like forever. That’s what this feels like.
It’s not like you don’t own a TV or a state of the art Dolby surround sound system, or an iPod, or a notebook.
The silence you mean is different.
It comes from knowing that the endless chatter going on in your head will not be interrupted by his calls again. And you won’t get random text messages anymore, that pull you out of your workaholic phases and make you stop. and breathe again.
You blankly stare at the screen of your laptop and you feel like it’ll be this way forever. Working from one deadline to the next; sleeping when you can but never when you need to; missing his voice, his laugh, his presence… even when he’s not at your place at all.
He isn’t now either, but he hasn’t been in weeks… many, many, long, seemingly endless weeks. Two years.
By now, the silence should have become your friend… but it feels too much like ‘alone’ and ‘forever’ and you don’t want to get used to it. There is a reason you have only digital clocks in your flat. If you don’t hear them ticking you can pretend it hasn’t been forever since he left.
Of course, he hasn’t left you, technically, but that’s what it felt like. Your remember the look in his eyes when he told you he’d have to leave. To figure things out without dragging you into it. To really find himself. He had told you that it wouldn’t be forever… but two years is a long time and the ever-present silence now lives with you, instead of him.
You refuse to think that this was supposed to be it. The end of what could potentially have become the best thing in your life. You understood at first because you’ve been there. You know what it’s like to find interest in the same sex. You know how confusing it can be and that you can never really hide it, no matter how hard you try.
It’s just something you can’t turn your back on once the feelings are there and Darren seemed to have known that too. But he chose to leave and discover himself on his own even though you would have loved to help him. Because you remember the sadness, the depression and the frustration of not being able to be ‘normal’.
You try not to think of all of Darren’s new firsts he chose to spend and experience with someone who wasn’t you.
Because what’s the point? You have work to do and silence will keep you company.
Even though, sometimes it rings so loud it’s deafening.
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The ringing of the doorbell comes as a surprise and you check the screen of you notebook because, really? At this time?
2.40 am and an unannounced visitor.
You slowly make your way to the door and you don’t even bother checking who exactly interrupted your maudlin thinking.
You only see curly brown hair, hazel eyes and triangular eye-brows.
“Hey Chris.”
And the silence is gone.
The End
Feedback would be lovely :)