Fanfic: Cup of Coffee (Tony/Gibbs) 2/?
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo
Category(ies): Romance, first time, UST
Pairing(s): Gibbs/DiNozzo
Summary: After "Leap of Faith" Tony does his very own leap of faith. Will he get more than he has bargained for? Spoilers for S05E05. Here comes the date =)
Cup of Coffee 2
This was ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous.
He had spent the last 5 minutes standing in front of Gibbs’s front door and had yet to knock. Not that it would be necessary since it was a known fact that Gibbs left his door unlocked. Always.
So he was a lady’s man. So he never had dated a man before. So he was scared shitless. Big deal!
Shaking his head he berated himself. This morning when Gibbs had asked him over for a dinner-date it was so easy to say yes and go with the flow. The doubts had come later. Sure he had the occasional wet dream about hot and steamy sex with a man. But that didn’t mean that he actually ever had sex with a man in real life. Big difference.
Completely lost in his musings he almost suffered a heart attack when the door suddenly opened and Gibbs was looking at him expectantly.
“You going to come in anytime soon? Dinner’s almost ready, you know?”
“Well you know boss I just couldn’t help but admire the sky tonight. The view from my apartment is not nearly as good as from here and since it’s usually pretty cloudy I hardly get the chance to observe the different constellations. Not that I am all that interested in astronomy, you know. It’s just the general principle. Did you know that-“
“Hey, Tony.” Gibbs interrupted the younger man gently.
Blushing Tony stopped his ramblings and looking the other man over he noticed that Gibbs wore soft denims that clung to his legs in all the right places. The polo he had pulled on seemed to be made of cashmere and looked tantalizingly soft.
“Nervous?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe, Boss.”
The answer had been obvious, even before Gibbs had asked the question. He couldn’t keep himself from smiling. The young man standing right in front of him looked utterly adorable.
“Call me Jethro when we’re alone like this. And there’s no need to be nervous. It’s a first date, nothing more, nothing less. No pressure, ok?”
Letting the soothing and reassuring words wash over him, Tony couldn’t help but trust Gibbs’s words to be true. The older man never said anything he didn’t mean and was always honest. Brutally so in some cases. Bracing himself, he grabbed Gibbs’s hand and entwined their fingers. He didn’t look at the other man but the message was clear.
Tony would trust Gibbs to guide and lead him. The older man would be the one in charge.
Thrown by so much trust Tony had in him it took Gibbs a moment to react. However only a few seconds later he gently lifted Tony’s face and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. It was tender and intimate and Tony almost melted right then and there.
After pulling back Gibbs just smiled at him and tugged slightly to get Tony to move inside. Once in the front hall they let go of each other.
Gibbs left for the kitchen and Tony made his way down into the basement. He was curious as to how much progress the other man had made since his last visit. Switching on the light he was impressed. The skeleton had vanished almost completely and he only saw a few more pieces of wood waiting to be put in their respective places.
Circling the boat slowly he let his fingers run over the surface. He was amazed at the feeling it generated. It was not cold and hard as he had imagined. It actually felt warm and smooth, like it had a life of its own.
He could tell immediately when he wasn’t alone anymore. He hadn’t heard Gibbs descending the stairs, being too absorbed of the feeling under his fingertips but Tony felt the other man as soon as he was standing behind him. He took a small step back, to get a little closer to Gibbs and to that delicious heat that seemed to radiate off of him.
Taking the hint Gibbs put his arms around Tony and pulled him up close. The younger man liked the feeling of a strong body behind him, sheltering him, supporting him. The very last of the tension that had controlled his body drained out of him and he surrendered completely to Gibbs.
“Thank you.” was all the older man said and kissed his now-lover softly under his right ear. The shiver he got as response felt wonderful and he looked forward to learning all of Tony’s hot spots. Not wanting to rush things however he pulled back ever so slightly and held out his hand for the younger man to take.
“You wanna join me for dinner?”
“Absolutely, Jethro. What have you made?”
“Chinese food. I thought you might like it. Pizza didn’t seem right for tonight. I hope you don’t mind.”
Blushing lightly Tony ducked his head. Not that Gibbs wouldn’t see the slight flush suffusing his cheeks but he tried.
“You didn’t have to order in. Really.”
“Did I say that I called for delivery? I made it myself, Tony.”
“And from the smell of it, you did really good.” The younger man smiled and let go of Gibbs’s hand again to move over to the stove and pear into the wok and other (Töpfe). He closed his eyes to savour the taste in all its intensity and immediately fell in love with the spicy aroma.
“Bo- Jethro this is wow”
“Hey,” the other man laughed. “You haven’t even tasted it yet. For all you know I could have messed it up.”
“So modest all of a sudden? How comes?” Tony teased and stuck out his tongue. He liked the bantering and light flirting. It was funny and there was no pressure to do anything he didn’t want to or didn’t feel ready for.
“Watch it!” was the only verbal reply he got and the head slap that followed wasn’t really a surprise. However this time it wasn’t as much as a wake-up-call-smack as a disguised caress. Tony leaned in slightly to prolong the contact and tried to hide his disappointment when Gibbs turned to the stove and stirred the contents of his wok.
“You wanna eat in the kitchen or in the living room? I don’t mind either way.”
“Living room would be nice.” Usually Tony preferred the kitchen but in this case he chose the living room. He had secretly fallen in love with Jethro’s couch a long long time ago.
It was after a particularly bad case during which Gibbs had been injured. Not fit to drive, Tony had picked him up everyday and once after work Gibbs had invited him to stay and have some coffee with him. They had sat down on the couch and after only one short moment Tony was in love. The simple piece of furniture was comfy and smelled of his boss and of sawdust. Hook, line and sinker in only a few seconds.
Reminding himself to stay in the present he moved into the living room and took Gibbs’s and his drinks with him. They had settled on beer since Tony didn’t want to drink coffee with dinner and Gibbs refused to accompany his meal with soda or water. The compromise had been found easily.
Jethro joined Tony only a few minutes later with a bowl in each had and chopsticks for them. Tony winced internally. He still hadn’t managed to learn the skill of eating with chopsticks but he didn’t really want to ask his boss for a fork. Talk about embarrassing. He mentally braced himself for eating a lot slower than his usual pace.
Sitting down next to Tony, the older man handed him the bowl and the chopsticks. He liked the atmosphere between them. There was no awkwardness, usually pretty much a given for first dates. He had thought about and dreaded possible uncomfortable silences or not finding anything to talk about. Not that they really had talked much at all since Tony arrived almost an hour ago.
Lost deep in thought Jethro didn’t notice that Tony was growing more frustrated by the minute. He would have liked to impress his boss by being able to say that he could handle a stupid pair of chopsticks but apparently it wasn’t as easy as Kate, and everybody else for that matter, made it out to be.
The low growl next to him startled Gibbs and he stopped eating. “You don’t like it?”
“No, no. Well I don’t know. I haven’t tried it yet.” Tony hurried to reassure his boss but ducked his head, blushing again. Gibbs’s curiosity was peeked. He looked the young man over, took in the slumped shoulders, the bowl in his left hand and the chopsticks in his right hand. With a startling epiphany he realized what was wrong about this picture. The young man looked defeated. And only because of a pair of chopsticks.
“Hey,” he started gently “you could have just asked for a fork you know? I didn’t want to embarrass you or anything, ok?”
The soft smile he got in return was enough for him to know he had found the right words to say and the right tone too. Wonders never cease Jethro chuckled internally.
“It’s just… I’m a federal agent, trained investigator etc… and I have to admit defeat because of a pair of…. Argh!”
The laughter bubbled out of Gibbs before he could even try to keep it in. Tony looked so cute and adorable he had to prevent himself from pouncing.
“You wanna learn?” he asked instead. He was pretty sure the young man would be a quick study and it would be fun too. He loved the way he could just be himself with Tony and not the bad-ass-ex-marine-sniper-boss. At home he was just Jethro and being able to share this with another young, handsome and vibrant young man he liked very much felt amazing.
“Yeah. But your food’s getting cold. Finish your bowl and then you can show me how to do this right.” Initially surprised by the genuine laugh he had gotten out of Gibbs without even trying, he now felt better. He knew it was silly to worry about little things like the chopsticks business but he desperately wanted them to work out.
Gibbs… no Jethro was more that just his boss. He was a friend, he was back up, he was family… he was all Tony had ever wished for wrapped in one. He wouldn’t let this chance at happiness slip away. Granted, he had no sexual experience with other men but if there was somebody out there with whom he was willing to discover the pleasure of gay sex and love, it was Jethro.
Startled because he had been too lost in thoughts he was surprised when he felt the other man move to sit behind him. He scooted a bit forward to make more room but Jethro kept him in place. They were now sitting pressed together, Tony’s back against the other man’s front. He was nestled between his legs and didn’t really know where to put himself until Jethro’s arms snuck around him to grab the bowl and the chopsticks. He put them in the right position with practised ease and then went to explain the mechanics to Tony.
“Look how I hold them. It’s important to hold them in the right place. Instinctively you’d hold them more at the front or the middle but that’s wrong. Take hold of them more at the end. It’ll make everything easier. Pass me mine, will you? I’ll show you, you try to copy what I do.”
A short nod was all he got in response. What he didn’t know was that Tony enjoyed their closeness immensely. He could feel Gibbs toned body trough his clothes and the images floating through his mind made him distinctively uncomfortable. He tried to focus on the task at hand, as difficult as it was.
“Ok, next step. You’ll want to hold the upper chopstick with your thumb, index and middle finger. Let it rest between the middle and index and push against it gently with your thumb. See?” Jethro followed his instruction by doing exactly what he had described. Tony copied him and was satisfied when he managed to handle his upper chopstick just the way Jethro did.
“That looks already pretty good to me. I knew you’d be a quick study.” Tony was told and he could practically feel the blush coming on again. He felt like a teenager all over again but it felt wonderful at the same time.
“Here we go, now we take the other chopstick. This is a little harder but you’ll manage. You take the stick and put it between the bottom of the thumb and the tip of the ring finger. It should rest in the crook between thumb and index finger. Actually while you’re eating it’s only the upper chopstick that moves. The other one rests stable. No action with that one. And once you’ll manage you’ll be able to eat like this.”
Jethro picked a piece out of the bowl and moved it in front of Tony’s face. “Open up. Didn’t think you wanted to starve.” The older man joked and it took only a few seconds for Tony to open his mouth and let Jethro feed him. He liked the gentleness the other man treated him with.
“Mmmm! God, this tastes absolutely delicious. I didn’t know you could cook food like this. It’s amazing!” Tony was in heaven. This was one of the best dished he had eaten in like forever. He knew it wasn’t only the dish but also the fact that it was Jethro, the one man he like very much and was willing to experiment and try things with, who had cooked for him.
“I’m glad you like it.” Laughing softly Jethro continued to feed the younger man sitting up against him. He occasionally snuck in a bite for himself but he didn’t really mind. All he wanted was right here in his arms.
Good god, get sappy, will you?! Jethro berated himself but couldn’t really put any meaning behind his internal pep talk. He didn’t mind that Tony put his world upside down even though it was a peculiar feeling. Like falling without safety net but still being secure and certain that Tony would be there to catch him. Maybe he wasn’t in love with Tony yet but he definitely cared about the other man. No doubt about that.
Sugar alarm Jethro. Get a grip, will you? The little voice in his mind continued but he just tuned it out. He concentrated on Tony and on the feelings the other body so close to his generated. After having finished both their bowls Jethro leaned back and pulled Tony with him. He snuck his strong arms back around him and sighed happily when the younger man let go of the subtle tension in his body.
Jethro sensed that this would be the ideal time to talk about this… them
“You ok?” he asked softly, not wanting to disturb the mood
“Yeah I’m good. This is just… new for me, you know?”
“In what sense?”
“It’s weird in a away. It feels great to let you take care of thing, let you be in charge. It’s just not what I’m used to. Usually I was leading things in the right direction, taking charge, pleasuring, etc.” Tony’s voice had grown softer and softer with each word he’s spoken. Jethro didn’t know how but he could tell that it wasn’t caused by insecurity. Maybe Tony was just as overwhelmed by everything as he was.
“Have you ever been with a man before?” the older man had taken to soothingly rub and stroke Tony’s stomach and abs. There wasn’t anything remotely sexual about the touch. It was comforting and loving.
“No, I haven’t,” Tony stated and slightly ducked his head. “I knew I was bi for a long time now but I never acted upon it. It never seemed worth it since homosexual tendencies in our world aren’t always taken nicely. On top of that I never really met a person, I mean a man, with whom I wanted to share this kind of intimacy.”
“Particular reason why you feel that way?” the tone was laced with genuine interest not just simple curiosity. It helped Tony to know that Jethro wasn’t judging him but listening to what he had to say.
“Maybe. I think that I’d feel too vulnerable. With a man I didn’t trust a hundred percent that is. This is really embarrassing but… The thought of being penetrated is hot but… opening up in that way… I don’t know if I can do that. Admittedly I haven’t even tried yet but still… don’t get this wrong, though, Jethro. I’m just saying that-“
“Hey, hey. It’s alright,” the older man whispered into Tony’s right ear. “There’s really nothing to be embarrassed about. We’re grown people, adults and we can talk about sex. Thank you though for opening up to me and share this with you.” Underlining his words he kissed Tony right underneath his ear and got a nice shudder as reward.
“There’s also nothing about what you said that sounded silly. It’s completely understandable. Opening up yourself for penetration is a serious step and shouldn’t be taken lightly because it means so much. It’s the ultimate gift to another man. You feel what you feel and not what you’re supposed to. Never let anybody tell you anything different.” He continued but let go of the other man’s neck. He knew instinctively that Tony had to initiate the next physical contact. The younger man had to be sure of what he wanted and had to act on it. Being afraid and relying completely on Jethro wouldn’t do. They were equals in this relationship.
“Very profound Jethro.” Was Tony’s joking reply and Jethro accepted the attempt at lightening the mood a little. Therefore his only answer was a sarcastic “I have my moments!” and a very soft head slap… it was so soft that it didn’t really qualify as a slap but still. The action helped to ground Tony and guide him back into waters he knew and felt comfortable in. He had opened up immensely already but Jethro didn’t want to push. They would continue this in a pace that was comfortable for both of them.
Their discussion was however disturbed by a low rumbling sound. Tony groaned openly in embarrassment but Gibbs just laughed.
“I see your stomach decided that second helpings are in order.” He chuckled lightly
“Yeah, looks like it. But we don’t have to. I’m fine like this.”
“Nope. Second helpings it is.” Gibbs decided and got up to get them more food.
Coming back he had a slightly evil smile gracing his features. Handing over the two items he sat down on the couch but this time he chose to sit between Tony’s legs, his back to the younger man’s front. Reversed position to earlier.
“Time to show off your new skills, Tony! You get to feed me.” The teasing tone was meant to distract Tony from their new position but did virtually nothing for the younger man’s nerves. Being pressed so close to Gibbs, he had a hard time to keep his brain from short circuiting.
Grabbing hold of the chopsticks Gibbs held out, he tried to mimic the way he had used them earlier. He struggled a little at the beginning and a few pieces landed on Gibbs’s shirt but the older man just picked them up with his fingers and slid them into his mouth.
Tony did his best to focus on the task at hand but concentration became more and more elusive as he continued to feed Jethro and sometimes himself. The body pressed up to him felt so good and the smell of sawdust emanating in subtle waves was doing nothing for his self-control.
“Are you ok, Tony?” came the surprising question apparently out of thin air and startled the young man.
“Yeah I’m good. Why’re you asking?”
“Just curious. You keep fidgeting, that’s all.” Jethro hinted subtly. It was his way of asking if Tony was comfortable with their closeness and whether he should back off a little or not. Tony could have kisses the older man for being so considerate alone.
“No, it’s fine. It’s … new, that’s all.”
“You sure? If I’m too heavy you have to tell me.” Jethro insisted. They both knew what he was really talking about though. The older man had felt the tension in Tony’s body. It was obvious that the younger man was not really at ease with their closeness. Whether it was because he enjoyed it to much or not enough, wasn’t really the question since Jethro had felt Tony’s heart rate increase and heard the breathing grow heavier ever so slightly. Gibbs was pretty sure that Tony enjoyed their being together like this intensely but was afraid to embarrass himself by reacting to him in a too obvious way.
To spare Tony any embarrassment Gibbs got up with the bowl in hand. “I’m going to put this away. You want some coffee too?” A short pause but the younger man didn’t hesitate much “Yeah that would be great. Thanks.”
Tony was aware of the flush suffusing his cheeks but he couldn’t not look at Gibbs. “You need a hand? Or want some company in the kitchen?” he asked shyly, knowing that it was more him than Gibbs who didn’t want to be alone. Grated, the physical closeness before made him uncomfortable because he couldn’t seem to control his bodily reactions but he still wanted to be around Gibbs. The older man seemed to understand Tony’s turmoil. He just nodded and motioned him to follow.
Once in the kitchen they worked together as effortlessly as they did on duty. It was nice to be able to connect on every level and Tony was positively surprised. As was Gibbs when Tony moved to the sink without being asked and started washing up the dishes. Gibbs hadn’t bothered to clean up after having finished the cooking, he had left it for later when the plates from dinner could be washed in the same go.
Tony seemed to notice Gibbs’s gaze upon him and turned around with a knowing smile. “Always anticipate.” Was all he said but it was enough. Gibbs tried hard to keep the grin from surfacing but the corners of his mouth rose suspiciously and betrayed him. Tony just winked and turned around to continue his work.
Never one to be thrown easily Gibbs was still amazed at how right it felt to have the other man here with him in his home. It was a long time since he felt so at ease with another person, his co-worker and subordinate nonetheless. He also felt comfortable with the pace they had set. He didn’t want to rush Tony into anything since the younger man had no experience at all with men. Jethro was looking forward to teaching him everything he knew, though.
Splitting up the washing and drying, the two men were finished in no time and sipped their coffee in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable and both were lost deep in thought. Gibbs only looked up when he heard Tony’s chair scraping across the floor as the young man moved to put his cup away. He quickly washed and dried it without a fuss and again Jethro felt glad to have taken the chance with his handsome and vibrant young man.
Suppressing a sigh Tony leaned against the kitchen counter and faced Gibbs. “I guess I should leave now. It’s late and we have work tomorrow.” Carefully schooling his features Tony watched Jethro and his reaction. He didn’t want to leave but he didn’t want to rush into things and spent the night either.
Jethro’s face fell ever so slightly after Tony had finished but he couldn’t fault the logic. Sure he wanted to spend some more time with the younger man but still. They would find other days they could spend together. He contented himself with just nodding.
“I just… don’t get me wrong, I’d love to stay some more but I think it’s best for me to leave as long as I still can, “ Tony whispered almost inaudibly. “I want to stay with you but I also want to get to know you properly. To see what makes you smile, what you like doing in your free time besides sanding your boat, what you favourite restaurant is, what you-“ a finger on his lips interrupted Tony’s monologue.
“Hey, it’s alright, I understand. Doesn’t mean I have to like letting you go now, but I understand. We’ll do this right and without jumping ahead of us. And I’ll enjoy leaning everything about you too. Believe me. We’re ok.” Gibbs’s reassuring and soothing words were like balm for Tony’s insecurities. He didn’t want to come across too girly or coy but this was too important too him, to screw up.
“Ok. I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” He smiled softly and looked deeply into Gibbs’s eyes to convey the sincerity of his words. What he saw was affection, tenderness and the beginnings of love. He was so lost in the moment he didn’t realize that Gibbs had moved forward to brush his lips softly against Tony’s.
The young man sighed contentedly and closed his eyes to participate in the kiss. Slightly tilting his head he moved with Jethro and their lips locked in a firm embrace. He couldn’t help but moan ever so slightly when Gibbs traced his lower lip with his tongue and relaxing, Tony granted him entrance.
What followed then had to be one of the most erotic kisses for both of them. Jethro wouldn’t be rushed and took his time to slowly enter Tony’s mouth and explore the hot cavern. He traced the palate, his teeth and then slowly moved to meet Tony’s tongue. The response from the other man was slightly hesitant. He rubbed softly against Gibbs’s tongue and when it retreated Tony followed. He licked ever so slightly on Gibbs upper lip and the groan the older man tried to stifle gave him al the encouragement he needed. He penetrated Jethro’s mouth and had they been gently and soft in the beginning they now moved together with newfound intensity until they needed to come up for much needed air.
A light brush of lips against lips was granted to finish their first kiss properly. Eyes closed they rested their foreheads together. Tony was the first to open his eyes and the flushed and content expression in Jethro’s face made him feel warm, content and at peace. He slid his arms around the body in front of him and let his head rest in the crook of Gibbs’s neck. Their bodies aligned; there was nothing sexual about the position. It was purely about closeness, comfort and tenderness.
“Wow.” Was all Tony could bring out. He was still slightly dazed and had a hard time catching up on his racing thoughts. Eventually he just gave up on it and decided to live the moment.
“Yeah, wow.” Gibbs agreed with Tony’s accurate assessment of the situation. He too was slightly lost in the sensations the kiss with Tony had provoked in him. He only let go of Tony when the younger man started to try to move away.
Blushing slightly Tony looked at Gibbs. “I really need to go now or I really won’t be able to leave. Ok?”
“Yeah it’s fine. Don’t worry. We agreed on it before, remember? I won’t hold it against you 5minutes later just because we shared the most amazing kiss of my life,” Jethro smiled. That he had chosen the right words, despite his lack of people skills, was obvious when Tony’s body relaxed again and when he brushed their lips together again.
They both moved to the door where Tony put on his shoes and his jacket. He tried stalling but knew that it was time to leave now. Grabbing Gibbs’s hand he pulled the other man closer for a quick chaste kiss and a warm hug that left them both wanting the moment to last longer than it actually did. In the end they had to let go of each other.
Watching Tony get into the car and drive away a bone deep feeling of contentment suffused Gibbs and with a smile he closed the door without locking it. It never was, but after tonight he knew that Tony too was always welcome in his home, life and heart.