im sleep deprived.
dude.. its like 5 in the morning and i cant sleep for the life of me..
i havent updated in a long time.. so i thought i try.
Lately ..
its been hard.. school.. NO JOB. (but i finally got one).. no money, car,as of yesturday no phone.. but who knows how long that will go..
Its just hard because my dad expects me to be something that im not.. and everyone tells me to just be like okay and pretend that im okay with what he does and i cant.. i have to tell him how i feel or i feel like he won. & i dont think that because im his kid i should just be like ohh your an adult so ill listen to you.. fuck that.. Im not like that so.. im takin the hard way.
The hardest part is not haveing anything.
or maybe not being able to go to Panama<3.. & if i dont go.. ill be so sad.:( So im kinda trying to just get things back to normal, but its hard.
Anyway..
im gonna graduate, but it sucks cause i grew up in roseville everyone i know and everything i was so used is there, it makes sad that i know i wont be able to go graduation and graduate with everyone.. or like just being at school on the last days and stuff.. All i can do is go to graduation, try to be at school the last day.. and be as involved as i can.. its jsut hard to look back and know that I COULD have dont something, but i fucked up. :(
im still gonna go to prom.. and be with my girls<3.
its just so sad when i think that its almost over. Like all the meories and friends i used to have.. not saying that were not friends.. but dont talk to over the years.. I used to be so close with so many people.. and now i have my selected few<3 but i think about jr high.. 10th grade.. the summers.. the stuff i learned and grew up with.. it so sad to know that after this year i know i wont see ANYONE.. i barely talk to anyone now that i dont go to roseville..
But after i graduate after this summer im moving.. i think i might actually go away to college.. if i get accepted..? i dont know.. i jsut feel like i need to get away..
i just want to live these next couple of months to the fullest, see old friends.. BE CRAZY.
LIfe-
Hopefully going to warped tour.<33333333
SPRING FUCKIN BREAK LIKE 9 days..
i need a hair cut and i need to dye it or something.
shopping?
The girls and i are good.. i havent seen some of them in a while.. but spring break were fuckin .. ahh im just so excited..
jeff and i.. well im not sure what we are.. but its good..
Everyone said..
but look.. <333333333
Hes my bestfriend.. my everything.. & i love him.
i hope everyones doin good.
& i hope everyone has a awesome spring break.. live it up..
this year is flyin by.. the days just go man.
Girls<33333
im gonna take a shower now..
this entry was kinda gay..
<3
i havent updated in a long time.. so i thought i try.
Lately ..
its been hard.. school.. NO JOB. (but i finally got one).. no money, car,as of yesturday no phone.. but who knows how long that will go..
Its just hard because my dad expects me to be something that im not.. and everyone tells me to just be like okay and pretend that im okay with what he does and i cant.. i have to tell him how i feel or i feel like he won. & i dont think that because im his kid i should just be like ohh your an adult so ill listen to you.. fuck that.. Im not like that so.. im takin the hard way.
The hardest part is not haveing anything.
or maybe not being able to go to Panama<3.. & if i dont go.. ill be so sad.:( So im kinda trying to just get things back to normal, but its hard.
Anyway..
im gonna graduate, but it sucks cause i grew up in roseville everyone i know and everything i was so used is there, it makes sad that i know i wont be able to go graduation and graduate with everyone.. or like just being at school on the last days and stuff.. All i can do is go to graduation, try to be at school the last day.. and be as involved as i can.. its jsut hard to look back and know that I COULD have dont something, but i fucked up. :(
im still gonna go to prom.. and be with my girls<3.
its just so sad when i think that its almost over. Like all the meories and friends i used to have.. not saying that were not friends.. but dont talk to over the years.. I used to be so close with so many people.. and now i have my selected few<3 but i think about jr high.. 10th grade.. the summers.. the stuff i learned and grew up with.. it so sad to know that after this year i know i wont see ANYONE.. i barely talk to anyone now that i dont go to roseville..
But after i graduate after this summer im moving.. i think i might actually go away to college.. if i get accepted..? i dont know.. i jsut feel like i need to get away..
i just want to live these next couple of months to the fullest, see old friends.. BE CRAZY.
LIfe-
Hopefully going to warped tour.<33333333
SPRING FUCKIN BREAK LIKE 9 days..
i need a hair cut and i need to dye it or something.
shopping?
The girls and i are good.. i havent seen some of them in a while.. but spring break were fuckin .. ahh im just so excited..
jeff and i.. well im not sure what we are.. but its good..
Everyone said..
but look.. <333333333
Hes my bestfriend.. my everything.. & i love him.
i hope everyones doin good.
& i hope everyone has a awesome spring break.. live it up..
this year is flyin by.. the days just go man.
Girls<33333
im gonna take a shower now..
this entry was kinda gay..
<3