for anyone who has ever judged me..
its funny how differently i portray myself in contrast to who i am. i feel as if there are 100 different identities people see me as, and none of them represent who i really am. i'm really not on some identity search, i know exactly who i am, what i don't know, is why i constantly hide that from everyone else. i'm intelligent, philosophical, lazy, sympathetic, jealous, illogical, awkward, liberal, easy, depressed, rebellious, quiet, poetic, pessimistic, athletic, and desperate. I don't think anyone could even imagine a person made up of all those qualaties, even more as that person being me. There are the people that see me as the dumb-blonde, with boobs too big for her body, and expensive highlights, someone who's been with plenty of guys but is too stupid too realize how much they don't care about her..then there are the people that see the dilligent over-acheiver, the sweet little girl who looks like she's 14, without a clue about the world, just wrapped in school and structured activities, hoping one day to go to college and marry a attractive pre-med student, and have three kids, spending the rest of her life 10 minutes away from her parents. then there are the ones that see me as sort of a lost teenager, too willing to try things, and too caught up in living to have any type of morals or willingness to conform, they wonder when i'll realize my pointless existence, and finally give into the game we're forced to play.. and of course, so many people misread me, thinking im too busy, and that I think I am too important for them, though I blame myself, I wish these people too could understand how much I appreciate them... and then there are my friends, who know i am none of these things, and that the only way to know who i am is to break past those barriers that I keep on refusing to take down..