laziness and donuts
matt got the job. props to him, i am so freaking proud. now i hope that when summer is over, he gets to keep it! and! that we get to move far far far away! just kidding, not far, just dalton or calhoun. once that happens, i can safely leave shallowford behind without feeling guilty or bad in any way. i can finds me a job down there somewhere and not be so stressed out anymore! shallowford stresses me to the max! oh but i must think about it, matt doesn't want to move during school and blah blah blah. i am just so freaking confused, i do know that it is killing me living here again, i never feel good anymore. i've been getting so lazy and my computer is freaking stupid. everyone always argues, i hate being in this negativity!! i am not a negative person! matt has cured me of that, let me tell you. :) i wonder if we could have made it at the other house, oh but the bugs...the leaks...i don't understand. matt and i were driving to paula's to give her the dvds and he asked if i wanted to see where he lived at one point. so we drive up there, and he points out his old house, amber g.'s (BOOBS) house, and we passed the cutest little house for rent. fenced in yard, a car port, nice looking little thing. :( i am constantly thinking about a house of our own. i have another thing constantly on my mind, but jill at work tells me that is my body reacting to living with matt, playing the role and all and my body saying let's play family. you know you wanna. DUDE! i'm only 21! these thoughts need to go away, they are so freaking distracting! we need to stablize before i can think about that! we need a house and at least 2 stable vehicles and stable income and me out of vet school and working at a hospital before i can even begin to think about that, so make it go away! make it all go away! i'm too young. okay, i've got to go...too many people around anyhoo. never really alone anymore.