you will read this. i know you will, but i dont fucking care.
i don't just kiss anybody, and i want to address that.
we never talked about this and we probably shouldn't. why? i dont mean any thing to anybody anyway. why should i think you'd be the slightest bit of different. or maybe you do care. just a little. just enough. maybe thats why you hung up on me. because you think i care about somebody who lives miles away more than i care about you. and that makes you upset, jealous maybe. or it makes you think that you cant stop hooking up with sluts. i don't mean too much to him either, both of you might pretend to care, but you dont. if you think about it you can find a flaw in him being above you. im reduced to little when i am with him. you're the only person that i've managed to be myself around, to be friends with and like, and kiss. its something i really like about being with you. i like myself when i am with you. im sitting here, in my effort to look pretty to see you. i never told you that i liked you. i dont think you would have cared anyway. you know you wouldnt have called me tonight so dont pretend that i am a priority. im afraid to spend time with you again, afraid that the thought of kissing me wont cross your mind and ill go home crushed and loose sleep over dissapointment. like it was some kind of mistake. maybe you're reading this and thinking that it really was. so call me and tell me what you're thinking. because i never know the reasons and i am left to put the blame on myself.
we never talked about this and we probably shouldn't. why? i dont mean any thing to anybody anyway. why should i think you'd be the slightest bit of different. or maybe you do care. just a little. just enough. maybe thats why you hung up on me. because you think i care about somebody who lives miles away more than i care about you. and that makes you upset, jealous maybe. or it makes you think that you cant stop hooking up with sluts. i don't mean too much to him either, both of you might pretend to care, but you dont. if you think about it you can find a flaw in him being above you. im reduced to little when i am with him. you're the only person that i've managed to be myself around, to be friends with and like, and kiss. its something i really like about being with you. i like myself when i am with you. im sitting here, in my effort to look pretty to see you. i never told you that i liked you. i dont think you would have cared anyway. you know you wouldnt have called me tonight so dont pretend that i am a priority. im afraid to spend time with you again, afraid that the thought of kissing me wont cross your mind and ill go home crushed and loose sleep over dissapointment. like it was some kind of mistake. maybe you're reading this and thinking that it really was. so call me and tell me what you're thinking. because i never know the reasons and i am left to put the blame on myself.