Six Months Without You Chapter Three
Title: Six Months Without You
Author: demon_rays
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Hyde and Gackt appears in a nightmare
Summary: Just because you're free, doesn't mean that you're happy. A side story to Define Freedom...and in Hyde's P.O.V
Warnings: Funny flash backs, angst, nightmares, cute little girls, fluff, and the author's too lazy and tired to beta this properly
Disclaimer: They belong to themselves
“Hideto,”
“Hm?”
“Why are you crying?” Sakura asked, near tears herself.
“My arm hurts.” I replied, wincing slightly. I had just did an extra workout that Misa gave me to do, and it hurt like hell. Well that was part of the reason I was crying...the other part, was because I got another update on Gackt. Things are getting harder for him...why couldn’t he come with me? Sakura sat next to me, and patted my ice pack that was on my shoulder.
“Princess Mary Carrot says to feel better.” she said, holding up the bunny.
“I’ll try my best Princess.” I said quietly, holding the ice pack. Sakura kissed my cheek, then skipped out the room. It’s been about a month and a week since I came here, and everyone’s grown to deeply care for me, as much as I care for them. Yuri and I have grown a habit of cooking dinner for the girls, and they’ve grown to love this habit...and Sakura proposed to me...and before I could give her a straight answer, we were married...little girls are scary.
Sometimes she makes me wonder...if I had a daughter, what she would be like. I know it’s not possible for Gackt and I to have children, but I can’t help but to wish sometimes...we can always adopt...if we ever see each other again.
Gackt is very good with children, a few times he proved that to me, on our ill fated journey. I leaned against the couch, staring off into space. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing, and if he was alright.
Before I knew it, I was dozing off on the couch.
- - -
I was eight years old again, covered in pieces of glass, blood and in my arms was Gackt, four years old again. He was clinging to me tightly, as he sobbed loudly. We were in a very dark room, with only one source of light, and it was pointing directly at us from the ceiling, scaring us even more. “Everything will be okay Gacchan, I’m here.” I said gently, kissing his head, as I tried to keep calm, then all of a sudden, two huge frightening men appeared. Gackt looked up at one of them, while I stared up at the other.
“No,” Gackt whimpered, clinging to me even tighter.
“Stop that and come on!” his father ordered, tightly grabbing his arm.
My uncle grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. “Let go of him and come on! I don’t have time for this!” he ordered.
“No,no,no!! Hai-chan don’t go with him! Please don’t! Stay with me!” he begged, as the two adults continued to yank us harshly.
“Gacchan!” I screamed, when they finally separated us. He grabbed my hand tightly in his small one, as he sobbed loudly. I tugged at him as hard as I could, only for us to get further and further from one another’s grasp.
“Don’t leave me Hai-chan!” Gackt wailed, as he disappeared into the darkness.
- - -
I snapped awake, panting loudly, before noticing Misa sitting next to me, brushing my hair from my face. “You were having a pretty bad nightmare kiddo.” she said gently, as she continued to run her fingers through my hair. “You’re alright now, it’s not happening anymore...no one will ever hurt you again.” It's nice to know that I have people present to tell me that...whether or not it's a lie.
“What about Gacchan?” I asked, as tears formed in my eyes. “I left him there, with all of them..to keep attacking him one way or another. How could I have done that? Why did I-?”
“Hideto, you couldn’t take him with you, and you couldn’t stay. If you stayed they would have killed you, and you know this as much as I do. If you would have tried to take him with you, the same result would have came. Do you want him to suffer because of you being there, or suffer because you’re away?” Misa asked, giving me a firm, but gentle stare.
“I guess...what I did was best.” I agreed, still feeling horrible. It's true, but it feels so wrong though, why couldn't he get his freedom? I'd rather he live with happiness and continue to suffer. The nurse wrapped her arms around me and kissed my head gently.
“It’s alright Hideto, everything will be alright soon. Just keep patient, and keep taking care of that arm okay?” she asked. I nodded, resting my head against hers. Misa, has become the closest thing to a mother to me, and I cherish this more then I can ever describe.
“...Thank you Misa-san.” I whispered.
“Mmmhmm.” she hummed, rubbing her hand up and down my arm. “By the way, I have something to show you.”
“Hm? What?” I asked, siting up slowly. Misa gave me a playful smile.
“It’s a surprise, now hurry up and get dressed.” she ordered me, shooing me to me and Sakura’s room.
- - -
“Where are we going?” I asked, as Misa drove me deep into D.C.
“You can ask all day, but I’m not telling you until we get there.” she chuckled meanly.
“And we’re going in the rush hour traffic! We’re never going to get there.” I whined. Misa laughed, as she kept her eyes on the road...even though there was no point. We were inching down the street in the worst part of traffic.
“Hideto,”
“Yes?” I asked.
“I also chose this time, to talk to you.”
“About?” I asked, looking at her.
“The reason I helped you, was...because ever since that day, when you and Gackt were taking by your uncle and his father, I knew that you two were going to a hellish life...but I didn’t do anything to stop it. The warning bells were ringing...but I did nothing about it....and the day I found out you were sentenced for killing your uncle, I cried...for days. I knew it wasn’t your fault, and that you had no choice, but I couldn’t save you, no matter how much I wanted to. It broke my heart to see such a sweet boy going through that, and it made me worry about Gackt even more. If you were in jail...where was he?...then...I saw that unforgettable news clip.”
- - -
“What kind of guard let’s himself get kidnapped?” A young nurse snorted, as Misa walked into the room.
“What?” she asked, only to get several fingers pointed at the television screen.
“-Was kidnapped by Hideto Takarai, who was imprisoned at the age of 16 for brutally murdering his uncle. According to his coworker Souchiro Toru, Gackt Camui was easily taken hostage at gunpoint, lead to the police cars, and forced into one, then when Souchiro Toru tried to stop them, was forced to drive out of the station at top speed, and was lost in the highway. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the confusing and shocking event.” Misa stared at the pictures of us. Mine happened to be of my mugshot, taken the year before. Yes to keep what I look like up to date, because of how dangerous I supposedly am, they took mugshots of me, and next to it, was Gackt’s photo of him in his police uniform, looking blank and listless.
- - -
“I was scared for you both right away...and I hoped that you wouldn’t hurt him...but then I remembered how you were with him the first time you met, and I realized, there was no way you could hurt him. I was so glad to know you didn’t...when news of you two popping up in random locations came. To my delight, you didn’t hurt him...and I was glad, but the longer you two spent together, the more in danger you both became.” Misa continued, still watching the road. I watched, as she took a deep breath. “I got very worried, the more they talked about arresting you and taking you in...and maybe even arresting Gackt too.”
“Gackt was worried about that just as much.” I sighed, staring out the window.
“For a moment...I thought you’d both be in the worst kind of trouble...and my worries grew even more...until you came into my hospital.”
- - -
“Takarai-san, can you hear me?” one of the nurses asked, staring down at me. According to Misa, I was groaning in my slight coma, clutching my gushing shoulder. I was sweating a ton, and I wouldn’t let anyone see my wound. Even though I can't remember this...it sounds so typical of me doesn't it? Paranioa and insanity have taken the better of me.
“Takarai-san, we can’t help you if you don’t let go.” another nurse begged, grabbing my hand. It tightened around my shoulder in an iron grip, which explains the bruises I had when I woke up again.
“My goodness.” Misa gasped, rushing over to them. “He’s unconscious can’t you tell? Stupid kids, move.” The nurses got out of the way, and she gently took my face in her hands, brushing the sweaty bangs from my forehead. “Takara-chan, let me see your shoulder.” she whispered. My grip tightened even more on it. “Oh for crying out loud.” the nurse scoffed, before roughly prying it off of me. I whimpered, and tried to grab it again, when she smacked my hand. My eyes opened slightly, and I stared up at her. “You probably won’t remember this, but I’m going to tell you anyway, behave yourself and we’ll be able to save your life...don’t be afraid, no one’s going to hurt you here.” Misa said gently, running her fingers through my hair. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I was out again.
- - -
“We didn’t hear another peep out of you and we didn’t have anymore trouble, until you woke up again, and Gackt’s father was present.” Misa said with a smile. “I think part of you remembered me, and that’s why you stopped fighting us....I also think...that you fought so hard when we got you, because you were so protective of yourself, so afraid to trust anyone fully, that you’d rather die then to get help. When you woke up, and chose to let me help you, you have no idea how proud you made me doing so.”
“I don’t think I would have...if Gackt didn’t break through my barriers like he did. I think I would have chose death right on the spot....but he made me fight for my life all the harder. I’m so glad I escaped with him.” I admitted, smiling to myself.
"So am I. I'm glad he stayed the way he was, and if I ever see him again, I'll make sure to thank him." Misa said quietly, before kissing my cheek.
"Thanks." I said quietly. "I really do miss him...more then I can stand."
"I bet he misses you too."
"I wonder how he's doing....I mean...how he's feeling despite it all." I sighed, looking out the window.
"I wonder....if there's a way for you to see him again." Misa sighed.
"Huh?" I asked, looking at her quickly.
"Nothing." Misa sang softly, before turning a corner suddenly. "We're here."
"....Um...an apartment building?" I asked, blinking a few times.
"Mmhmm...come on." My caretaker said, getting out of the car. I got out and followed her into the building.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"To my house." Misa replied.
"Yours?" I asked, blinking.
"Mmhmm," she laughed, unlocking the apartment door. "So, do you like it?" Misa asked, as we walked into the apartment, walking into the nice living room.
"It's nice." I replied smiling. "I like how you decorated it...it's something I might have done."
"Really?" the nurse asked.
"Mmhmm," I replied, nodding.
"That's good, because this belongs to you now." Misa said casually. I looked at her with wide eyes.
"Huh?" I asked.
"This is your place."
"....Misa-san...you serious? You-You can't-"
"Yes I can, I'm old and I can do what I want." the nurse said sticking her tongue out at me. How mature of her.
"You've done so much for me already....why do you keep giving things to me?" I asked, as tears formed in my eyes. "I don't deserve your kindness."
"Oh boy shut up and accept it." Misa ordered, shoving me slightly. "Besides...Sakura needs to sleep in her room again, and you need to live alone for a while."
"....That's true." I mused, staring at my feet. "Misa-san, thank you for everything." she wrapped an arm around me and kissed my forehead.
"You're very welcome...now, get to know your apartment, and don't worry about paying rent or anything, all of that's taken care of." she said grinning. "Everything you'll ever need, is at your finger tips Hideto...now I gotta go. Bye." With that she walked out the door.
It was true, everything I could ever need was here....everything....but Gacchan. Realizing that hurt like hell, but there was nothing I could do about it. Oh if only I could see him again, hold him in my arms and tell him how much...I....wait...I do love him? Really? Hmmm....Is it sad to say that my mind's so fucked up that I don't know what love and affection is? I won't even be able to tell if he feels the same for ME. Aaaah, how much longer is it going to be like this?
After forever, I finally managed to come up with Chapter three. Yes, I was stuck. XD Hopefully it'll flow easier now. :D
Author: demon_rays
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Hyde and Gackt appears in a nightmare
Summary: Just because you're free, doesn't mean that you're happy. A side story to Define Freedom...and in Hyde's P.O.V
Warnings: Funny flash backs, angst, nightmares, cute little girls, fluff, and the author's too lazy and tired to beta this properly
Disclaimer: They belong to themselves
“Hideto,”
“Hm?”
“Why are you crying?” Sakura asked, near tears herself.
“My arm hurts.” I replied, wincing slightly. I had just did an extra workout that Misa gave me to do, and it hurt like hell. Well that was part of the reason I was crying...the other part, was because I got another update on Gackt. Things are getting harder for him...why couldn’t he come with me? Sakura sat next to me, and patted my ice pack that was on my shoulder.
“Princess Mary Carrot says to feel better.” she said, holding up the bunny.
“I’ll try my best Princess.” I said quietly, holding the ice pack. Sakura kissed my cheek, then skipped out the room. It’s been about a month and a week since I came here, and everyone’s grown to deeply care for me, as much as I care for them. Yuri and I have grown a habit of cooking dinner for the girls, and they’ve grown to love this habit...and Sakura proposed to me...and before I could give her a straight answer, we were married...little girls are scary.
Sometimes she makes me wonder...if I had a daughter, what she would be like. I know it’s not possible for Gackt and I to have children, but I can’t help but to wish sometimes...we can always adopt...if we ever see each other again.
Gackt is very good with children, a few times he proved that to me, on our ill fated journey. I leaned against the couch, staring off into space. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing, and if he was alright.
Before I knew it, I was dozing off on the couch.
- - -
I was eight years old again, covered in pieces of glass, blood and in my arms was Gackt, four years old again. He was clinging to me tightly, as he sobbed loudly. We were in a very dark room, with only one source of light, and it was pointing directly at us from the ceiling, scaring us even more. “Everything will be okay Gacchan, I’m here.” I said gently, kissing his head, as I tried to keep calm, then all of a sudden, two huge frightening men appeared. Gackt looked up at one of them, while I stared up at the other.
“No,” Gackt whimpered, clinging to me even tighter.
“Stop that and come on!” his father ordered, tightly grabbing his arm.
My uncle grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. “Let go of him and come on! I don’t have time for this!” he ordered.
“No,no,no!! Hai-chan don’t go with him! Please don’t! Stay with me!” he begged, as the two adults continued to yank us harshly.
“Gacchan!” I screamed, when they finally separated us. He grabbed my hand tightly in his small one, as he sobbed loudly. I tugged at him as hard as I could, only for us to get further and further from one another’s grasp.
“Don’t leave me Hai-chan!” Gackt wailed, as he disappeared into the darkness.
- - -
I snapped awake, panting loudly, before noticing Misa sitting next to me, brushing my hair from my face. “You were having a pretty bad nightmare kiddo.” she said gently, as she continued to run her fingers through my hair. “You’re alright now, it’s not happening anymore...no one will ever hurt you again.” It's nice to know that I have people present to tell me that...whether or not it's a lie.
“What about Gacchan?” I asked, as tears formed in my eyes. “I left him there, with all of them..to keep attacking him one way or another. How could I have done that? Why did I-?”
“Hideto, you couldn’t take him with you, and you couldn’t stay. If you stayed they would have killed you, and you know this as much as I do. If you would have tried to take him with you, the same result would have came. Do you want him to suffer because of you being there, or suffer because you’re away?” Misa asked, giving me a firm, but gentle stare.
“I guess...what I did was best.” I agreed, still feeling horrible. It's true, but it feels so wrong though, why couldn't he get his freedom? I'd rather he live with happiness and continue to suffer. The nurse wrapped her arms around me and kissed my head gently.
“It’s alright Hideto, everything will be alright soon. Just keep patient, and keep taking care of that arm okay?” she asked. I nodded, resting my head against hers. Misa, has become the closest thing to a mother to me, and I cherish this more then I can ever describe.
“...Thank you Misa-san.” I whispered.
“Mmmhmm.” she hummed, rubbing her hand up and down my arm. “By the way, I have something to show you.”
“Hm? What?” I asked, siting up slowly. Misa gave me a playful smile.
“It’s a surprise, now hurry up and get dressed.” she ordered me, shooing me to me and Sakura’s room.
- - -
“Where are we going?” I asked, as Misa drove me deep into D.C.
“You can ask all day, but I’m not telling you until we get there.” she chuckled meanly.
“And we’re going in the rush hour traffic! We’re never going to get there.” I whined. Misa laughed, as she kept her eyes on the road...even though there was no point. We were inching down the street in the worst part of traffic.
“Hideto,”
“Yes?” I asked.
“I also chose this time, to talk to you.”
“About?” I asked, looking at her.
“The reason I helped you, was...because ever since that day, when you and Gackt were taking by your uncle and his father, I knew that you two were going to a hellish life...but I didn’t do anything to stop it. The warning bells were ringing...but I did nothing about it....and the day I found out you were sentenced for killing your uncle, I cried...for days. I knew it wasn’t your fault, and that you had no choice, but I couldn’t save you, no matter how much I wanted to. It broke my heart to see such a sweet boy going through that, and it made me worry about Gackt even more. If you were in jail...where was he?...then...I saw that unforgettable news clip.”
- - -
“What kind of guard let’s himself get kidnapped?” A young nurse snorted, as Misa walked into the room.
“What?” she asked, only to get several fingers pointed at the television screen.
“-Was kidnapped by Hideto Takarai, who was imprisoned at the age of 16 for brutally murdering his uncle. According to his coworker Souchiro Toru, Gackt Camui was easily taken hostage at gunpoint, lead to the police cars, and forced into one, then when Souchiro Toru tried to stop them, was forced to drive out of the station at top speed, and was lost in the highway. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the confusing and shocking event.” Misa stared at the pictures of us. Mine happened to be of my mugshot, taken the year before. Yes to keep what I look like up to date, because of how dangerous I supposedly am, they took mugshots of me, and next to it, was Gackt’s photo of him in his police uniform, looking blank and listless.
- - -
“I was scared for you both right away...and I hoped that you wouldn’t hurt him...but then I remembered how you were with him the first time you met, and I realized, there was no way you could hurt him. I was so glad to know you didn’t...when news of you two popping up in random locations came. To my delight, you didn’t hurt him...and I was glad, but the longer you two spent together, the more in danger you both became.” Misa continued, still watching the road. I watched, as she took a deep breath. “I got very worried, the more they talked about arresting you and taking you in...and maybe even arresting Gackt too.”
“Gackt was worried about that just as much.” I sighed, staring out the window.
“For a moment...I thought you’d both be in the worst kind of trouble...and my worries grew even more...until you came into my hospital.”
- - -
“Takarai-san, can you hear me?” one of the nurses asked, staring down at me. According to Misa, I was groaning in my slight coma, clutching my gushing shoulder. I was sweating a ton, and I wouldn’t let anyone see my wound. Even though I can't remember this...it sounds so typical of me doesn't it? Paranioa and insanity have taken the better of me.
“Takarai-san, we can’t help you if you don’t let go.” another nurse begged, grabbing my hand. It tightened around my shoulder in an iron grip, which explains the bruises I had when I woke up again.
“My goodness.” Misa gasped, rushing over to them. “He’s unconscious can’t you tell? Stupid kids, move.” The nurses got out of the way, and she gently took my face in her hands, brushing the sweaty bangs from my forehead. “Takara-chan, let me see your shoulder.” she whispered. My grip tightened even more on it. “Oh for crying out loud.” the nurse scoffed, before roughly prying it off of me. I whimpered, and tried to grab it again, when she smacked my hand. My eyes opened slightly, and I stared up at her. “You probably won’t remember this, but I’m going to tell you anyway, behave yourself and we’ll be able to save your life...don’t be afraid, no one’s going to hurt you here.” Misa said gently, running her fingers through my hair. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I was out again.
- - -
“We didn’t hear another peep out of you and we didn’t have anymore trouble, until you woke up again, and Gackt’s father was present.” Misa said with a smile. “I think part of you remembered me, and that’s why you stopped fighting us....I also think...that you fought so hard when we got you, because you were so protective of yourself, so afraid to trust anyone fully, that you’d rather die then to get help. When you woke up, and chose to let me help you, you have no idea how proud you made me doing so.”
“I don’t think I would have...if Gackt didn’t break through my barriers like he did. I think I would have chose death right on the spot....but he made me fight for my life all the harder. I’m so glad I escaped with him.” I admitted, smiling to myself.
"So am I. I'm glad he stayed the way he was, and if I ever see him again, I'll make sure to thank him." Misa said quietly, before kissing my cheek.
"Thanks." I said quietly. "I really do miss him...more then I can stand."
"I bet he misses you too."
"I wonder how he's doing....I mean...how he's feeling despite it all." I sighed, looking out the window.
"I wonder....if there's a way for you to see him again." Misa sighed.
"Huh?" I asked, looking at her quickly.
"Nothing." Misa sang softly, before turning a corner suddenly. "We're here."
"....Um...an apartment building?" I asked, blinking a few times.
"Mmhmm...come on." My caretaker said, getting out of the car. I got out and followed her into the building.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"To my house." Misa replied.
"Yours?" I asked, blinking.
"Mmhmm," she laughed, unlocking the apartment door. "So, do you like it?" Misa asked, as we walked into the apartment, walking into the nice living room.
"It's nice." I replied smiling. "I like how you decorated it...it's something I might have done."
"Really?" the nurse asked.
"Mmhmm," I replied, nodding.
"That's good, because this belongs to you now." Misa said casually. I looked at her with wide eyes.
"Huh?" I asked.
"This is your place."
"....Misa-san...you serious? You-You can't-"
"Yes I can, I'm old and I can do what I want." the nurse said sticking her tongue out at me. How mature of her.
"You've done so much for me already....why do you keep giving things to me?" I asked, as tears formed in my eyes. "I don't deserve your kindness."
"Oh boy shut up and accept it." Misa ordered, shoving me slightly. "Besides...Sakura needs to sleep in her room again, and you need to live alone for a while."
"....That's true." I mused, staring at my feet. "Misa-san, thank you for everything." she wrapped an arm around me and kissed my forehead.
"You're very welcome...now, get to know your apartment, and don't worry about paying rent or anything, all of that's taken care of." she said grinning. "Everything you'll ever need, is at your finger tips Hideto...now I gotta go. Bye." With that she walked out the door.
It was true, everything I could ever need was here....everything....but Gacchan. Realizing that hurt like hell, but there was nothing I could do about it. Oh if only I could see him again, hold him in my arms and tell him how much...I....wait...I do love him? Really? Hmmm....Is it sad to say that my mind's so fucked up that I don't know what love and affection is? I won't even be able to tell if he feels the same for ME. Aaaah, how much longer is it going to be like this?
After forever, I finally managed to come up with Chapter three. Yes, I was stuck. XD Hopefully it'll flow easier now. :D