(no subject)
Ok, a lot has happened since the last time that I have wrote. Lets see oh yea, I lost my job. They fired me February 11th. And I have not had any luck finding a new job. I have however been able to do some soul searching here. I finally figured out why I have Lee around. He cannot support us, totally not trust worthy, and communication skills do not exist, but the reason he is around because I am so sick of loneliness. I am tired of not having anyone to talk about my life changing ideas, well more like make better choices and trying to think things out. I know that having Lee around is not exactly a great choice, but he has served a purpose for me. He has been able to help me keep afloat until i get another job. There are a few things that have been on my mind lately. Ok this is gonna be a long one - Kasaundra. She got a hold of me a few weeks ago, she needed to get rid of some clothes that do not fit her anymore. The good part about that is that she has a good taste in clothes and she got fatter! HAHAHAHAHA I love that! I stayed there for almost three hours catching up and all that stuff. She wanted to know what happened and why i moved out of her house so fast. Here is the sad part - I couldn't be totally honest with her because i didn't want her to think that I was trying to attack her or trying to think bad about her or trying to see only the bad in her. So I smoothed all of the edges, so I didn't say anything that I was actually feeling and it has made me feel worse. And then there is the other friend Lori. She is getting divorced, her soon to be ex supposedly did a sexual act with her oldest daughter, Ashley. Ashley is a huge lier and I do not really believe her. I'm just not sure that it was her step dad that did what she said he did. She claims this happened two years ago and I feel bad to say that I don't totally believe her but I don't. And Lori is just not the person that I used to know. She is lazy, and expect everyone to do things for her so that she can spend all day on myspace. Ok, I have a myspace page, but damnm how much shit can you fucking do on that thing? I think that I would rather play computer games, but to each his own, or is it to each is own....well anyways, you get the point. Ok, here is a fucked up thing about Lori. When me and Lee were in one of our break up modes (I got tired of stupid shit really) I fucked this guy named Donnie and he and Lori were flerting alot. I knew that he liked Lori but Lori kept on turning him down, saying that she was not divorced and she didn't want her husband to find out, the truth is she wasn't really sure if she was going to really be leaving him or not. I knew that Donnie was just a fuck and that was it, more to get back at Lee for messing around on me. I have to say that I feel a lot better that I have done that, even though Lee does not know any of this. Donnie and Lori actually ended up together. I told Lori that we had slept together and Donnie called me a lier. I guess Lori believed him. Funny. I personally don't give a shit. But hey. Well Lori talks to me and tells me that she is not sure that Donnie will be able to provide for her. See her soon to be ex makes like 30.00 an hour ( that is like 1,200.00 a WEEK!) And Lori and her soon to be ex were not living right. They pissed way too much money away. And therefore neither one of them have any credit. So anyways, I helped Lori get a place of her own over here across from where I live. And she works every weekend and Donnie lives with her and he does not work on the week end. Lee works every saturday - hahaha - do you see where I am going with this, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA I know that I should not be laughing but damn I just cannot help IT! Ok, I helped Lori until she had to go to work and that was pretty much the end of that day, anyways, i over at their house and Donnie starts talking to me. Not just bullshitten I mean really opening up to me. I was not prepared for that and it kinda made me feel uncomfortable. But he starts to complain about the same things Lori's soon to be ex starts to complain about. HAHAHAHAH!!!!! Is that some shit or what? He is not happy, ok, I am not that happy. then he asked the question.........."what would you do if I just grabbed you and started kissing and feeling all over you?" I told him I would tell him to get off and push him off of me. I was "with" someone and so was he. About that time Lori called and started telling him that she was having second thoughts about moving there because the accusations were already out there. Ok, hold the fuck on! So I am honest and tell you that I fucked your man BEFORE you did, and now you don't know if you can trust me!!!!!!! I should have just grabbed Donnie and fucked the shit out of him on her fucking bed! But I didn't and I really don't think that I could actually do that. But still! How can you even think that I would allow anything like that to happen?! I didn't have to honest to her in the first place, my honesty made me look like a whore and she totally disregarded that I put my own rep on the line just to be FUCKING HONEST!!!!! I just don't understand people today.