(no subject)

[lovelycat11]

so today i really learned that art therapy HAS to be the way i make my mark on the world. i was in Varner house, for my first meeting with a counselor there, and was in the waiting room. ( they need tres more comfy chairs in there, btw). but anyways, there was another girl there, and she sat down next to me. she looked as sad and pititful as any girlie can. and so i smiled at her a bit, and she started talking to me. about what was wrong. she has really bad panic' attacks, and like me, it attacks her stomach. she told me that she'd lost a lot of weight this week, and that she had been throwing up she was so stressed and nervous. she's a freshman, and worked too much at the bookstore the first week because some DUMB ASS told her that noone does anything the first week, so she figured she'd have extra timeto work. and she didnt have a handle on how to schedual things, and how to structure her days so that she was less stressed out. her dad is worse, and told her ( insisted i think really) that she needed to get this sorted out before it got worse, like he was. so that was really good, and i was glad to hear that. and told her so. and i found myself giving her advice, like, if you're worried about something, write it down, ifyou have somehting to do, write it down, write stuff down in five different places if you're afraid you'll forget, ask professors for help, that there are not only writing centers, but math and science ones as well on campus that are free. it felt so good helping this stranger with problems that i have had, granted, to a lesser degree, but it felt right. and i felt this ache of desire to really talk to her, to really really help her. to be her councelor. to give her paper and tell her to draw her panic, fears, hopes, anything. and so now one of my biggest goals in going to varnerhouse myself is to get myself together, to learn and trust myself to do the right thing. so that i can use my experiences to help others who need more help than i do. i want to help people. and art therapy is the way to do it.

the end.

boo-ya.

now all i have to do is graduate and pick a gradschool to go to. my vote is still new mexico.