(no subject)
Today I did something so stupid. I called Jake. I asked him to come over so we could talk. He said maybe he would and he would probably call me. He never showed. I didnt think he would. To make matters worse, I cried on the phone with him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have never let him hear me cry. I feel so defeated, and lost. I dont know what I want anymore. How can I still want to be with him after all this shit? Anytime he asked for a second chance it was given. I trusted him throughout everything. I loved him for Gods sake. I was faithful. To him I gave it all away. How can he continue to deny me this way?
If he cant take me back when I need him the most, He better never expect me to take him back when he needs me.
I took down all the pictures of us together. THey were too painful to look at, I'm so weak right now. I have been crying for 3 days straight and my face is so swollen. All I have eaten is a few gummi worms. I'm so sick to my stomach. Everybody keeps telling me he's a "loser" and I "can do better". I wish I could bring myself to say the same things.
I asked how he alreday has a new girlfriend and he said he thought it was time to move on. I dont want to care anymore. I know in time, I too will move on, but I dont want to wait. I want to be over it NOW>
I'm thinking about putting everything he ever bought me away too. Including my bear from the build a bear workshop. Its so cute, but its a reminder of him. For the heart We put inside it, I was told to make a wish on it. My wish: Jake and I be together forever. Yeah, wishes are bullshit. I must have had my head in the clouds, I was obviously to blind to see anything in front of me.
Love is bullshit. Yet I still want it. One day I'm sure I will look back on today as a lesson. Hopefully sooner than later. I'm probably not helping myself by being depressed over him, but that will all change when school starts. I'll have my friends for 7 hours a day. Not even work can interfere with that.
I hear the clock, it's 6am
I feel so far away from where I've been
Got my eggs, and my pancakes too
Got my maple syrup, everything but you
I break the yolks and make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off of the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know, that you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
Picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
Saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know, that you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Go about my business, I'm doing fine
Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken every day
Brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick up a book, Turn the sheets down
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pj's and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know, that you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
If he cant take me back when I need him the most, He better never expect me to take him back when he needs me.
I took down all the pictures of us together. THey were too painful to look at, I'm so weak right now. I have been crying for 3 days straight and my face is so swollen. All I have eaten is a few gummi worms. I'm so sick to my stomach. Everybody keeps telling me he's a "loser" and I "can do better". I wish I could bring myself to say the same things.
I asked how he alreday has a new girlfriend and he said he thought it was time to move on. I dont want to care anymore. I know in time, I too will move on, but I dont want to wait. I want to be over it NOW>
I'm thinking about putting everything he ever bought me away too. Including my bear from the build a bear workshop. Its so cute, but its a reminder of him. For the heart We put inside it, I was told to make a wish on it. My wish: Jake and I be together forever. Yeah, wishes are bullshit. I must have had my head in the clouds, I was obviously to blind to see anything in front of me.
Love is bullshit. Yet I still want it. One day I'm sure I will look back on today as a lesson. Hopefully sooner than later. I'm probably not helping myself by being depressed over him, but that will all change when school starts. I'll have my friends for 7 hours a day. Not even work can interfere with that.
I hear the clock, it's 6am
I feel so far away from where I've been
Got my eggs, and my pancakes too
Got my maple syrup, everything but you
I break the yolks and make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off of the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know, that you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
Picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
Saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know, that you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
Go about my business, I'm doing fine
Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken every day
Brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick up a book, Turn the sheets down
Take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pj's and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know, that you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you