(no subject)
Lately I feel like I have so much running through my head that I simply do not know how to sort it out. I want to write it all but its too much... I start to think I want to write this, I'll open Semagic and go on but I just cant find the words to express how I've been feeling. Its not a bad, or a good feeling, its an unknown. I feel like I've really been changing, that my world has been changing, that THE world has been changing, that America is in the process of changing and it seems no one sees it coming. I feel like I've become so much more aware of life, and people, and the world in general and I dont know what to do with my feelings about it anymore.
I talked to a homeless man tonight, I've spoken to him before but its been awhile. Yes, I talk to homeless people, I'm not one to walk on by and no it doesn't just consist of me handing over a few dollars. I have conversations with people. I was talking to this man about this beautiful dog he has that I remember back from when it was a tiny snuggly little puppy. He's huge now, hes a bull mastiff and is now 8 months old. This man is so proud of this dog, he got its tags and everything and was telling me how no one wants him to have the dog, that they try to take it away so he went through getting its tags and everything. Our conversation continued like conversations do and he was telling me about how people hate homeless people, and I told him its true. And it is, in general people look at them as something cluttering up their pretty streets and making a mess out of what would otherwise be a good place to live. He went on telling me how he's been trying forever to get an ID card and get a job but they wont give him one, and he says "As if he isn't American" I dont know why that statement really hit home for me but it did, and its true. I'm disgusted with out country. I cant honestly say Id rather have been born somewhere else because I'm not an idiot I know I have it pretty good *cept Canada* but at this current time, in our current state, I am embarrassed for us. I'm embarrassed to be a part of the society weve created where our affections for others, and goals, and sense of general good is so out of whack. I wonder how we got this far off the track. i wonder how you get back to the road once youre lost.
I'm so confused, that I just feel like running away from my own country, I feel so much that I dont belong.
I talked to a homeless man tonight, I've spoken to him before but its been awhile. Yes, I talk to homeless people, I'm not one to walk on by and no it doesn't just consist of me handing over a few dollars. I have conversations with people. I was talking to this man about this beautiful dog he has that I remember back from when it was a tiny snuggly little puppy. He's huge now, hes a bull mastiff and is now 8 months old. This man is so proud of this dog, he got its tags and everything and was telling me how no one wants him to have the dog, that they try to take it away so he went through getting its tags and everything. Our conversation continued like conversations do and he was telling me about how people hate homeless people, and I told him its true. And it is, in general people look at them as something cluttering up their pretty streets and making a mess out of what would otherwise be a good place to live. He went on telling me how he's been trying forever to get an ID card and get a job but they wont give him one, and he says "As if he isn't American" I dont know why that statement really hit home for me but it did, and its true. I'm disgusted with out country. I cant honestly say Id rather have been born somewhere else because I'm not an idiot I know I have it pretty good *cept Canada* but at this current time, in our current state, I am embarrassed for us. I'm embarrassed to be a part of the society weve created where our affections for others, and goals, and sense of general good is so out of whack. I wonder how we got this far off the track. i wonder how you get back to the road once youre lost.
I'm so confused, that I just feel like running away from my own country, I feel so much that I dont belong.