MAILS-CALLS-MEET UPS
Title : Mails-Calls-Meet Ups
Author : loveloveyunjae
Pairing : Yunjae
Genre : Fluff
Length : Oneshot
So cold, it is so chilly, the wind keeps blowing on my open window. Despite that, i insist on keeping it open. Just like this weather, I feel cold inside. Weathers like this can't stop me from thinking that i would like it very much to feel warm, to have someone's warmth enclosing me. I feel giddy thinking about these things.
What does it feel like? To have a lover? Love, they say, brings joy a thousand times stronger than anything else, but, it also cuts. They say, it cuts so deep that you can't ever forget the pain, but only ease it up. I keep thinking that if it hurts that much, why would people want to fall in love again and again, risking themselves to experience this kind of pain? They would say, "Someday, Jaejoong, you would know why.why you would crave for it again and again, despite the pain."
Maybe it is time to find the answer why. Maybe I have to find love and experience this inexplicable thing. But how? clubbing? Yoochun always gets his partners from there. But somehow, I wouldn't want to find my special one in that kind of place. Yoochun's relationship doesn't exactly involve love or any kinds of feelings. "No-strings-attached" he says. Those kinds of relationships-- flings, one night stands are, for me, are kinda hateful. I guess I have to seek help. Pulling out my cellphone from my pocket, i dialed my other best friend's number.
"Yoboseyo? Jae hyung ah?"
"Junsu-ah, help me?
"Why hyung? what is the matter? Are you alright? Hurt somewhere? Hyung! how many times do we have to remind you that you should be extra careful, a clumsy person like you with two left feet is bound to encounter accidents. That is why--"
"Yah! Stop that! It's no longer funny, and I'm not hurt, I'm perfectly fine. What I want to ask help is for a different matter.... Help me find love Junsu."
"..."
"Su-ah?"
"No. I won't. Not yet, you are yet too fragile for it. It will break you if it ended badly."
"I'm not Su. Sure, I just lost my dad, but don't you get it? That is the reason why I have to have someone. I am getting over the pain, but I need help."
"You have me, you have us, why do you need more? Haven't we helped enough hyung?" At this point, I know that Junsu is tearing up. Aish, this is not what I expected when I started this phonecall.
"Su, you know I appreciate your help and Yoochun's, I wouldn't ant any other people to be my friends, you two are perfect. But I have to have someone I can call my other half, a person that could complete this empty space in me, please Su."
"Always the romantic one aren't you? Fine I could suggest a way for you to find your "other half." Remember Yonghwa? My first boyfriend? i found him in a chat site, I'll give you that link. Jae, I'm helping you but still, I don't think this is a nice idea."
"Thanks Su. But I think it is time. Anyway, if this won't work out, I know I have you and Chun to turn too. Thanks."
After a while, the link came and i started exploring the site. It is an online dating site, and before entering, it requires answers for questions such as: preference in sex (which i checked male *gay here), ideal type (i chose manly over cute, nerdy and other types), hobbies (singing, writing, reading, and photography) and many other questions.
Finally, i was through. I then have to choose a chat room. Posted something saying "I'm Hero (not stupid enough to give my real name, Duh!) I would like to chat with someone who could be my friend" Not even a second after, multiple chat boxes popped out. I dismissed some because of their perverted messages and kept chatting with the "okay" guys. Most of them turned out badly but there is one who caught my attention the most. We clicked so well, sharing almost the same views and argued on some but still.. This is the one.
MAX-to the-MAX: so.. could i save you as a friend? :)
Hero: thought you would never ask :P
MAX-to the-MAX: :D yah, i was shy you know? it's my first time here.
Hero: no kidding? it's my first too.
We chatted for a very long time, stopping only because of the alarm clock.
MAX-to the-MAX: oh gosh, could you believed that we chatted the night away? my alarm clock just rang. i gotta go soon, school and stuff.
Hero: yeah, me too. i think i have to drink a gallon of coffee or else i'll doze off.
MAX-to the-MAX: hey, uhm, if it's alright with you, could i get your cellphone number?
This time, it didn’t felt right. I have this bothering feeling inside me, that something is not right. But because I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it is, I dismissed the feeling at the back of my mind. So I said “Sure” and gave him my number.
I got ready and prepared coming to the university. Junsu and Yoochun met me at the hallway as always. They asked about the chat thing and I told them about MAX-to the-MAX.
“You mean you didn’t ask for his real name?” Junsu asked.
“Should I have? I mean I wouldn’t be comfortable if he for mine.” Junsu shrugged at the question.
“Hold up! He asked for your cellphone number?” this time it was Chun who asked.
“.. Yeah. Why?”
“Don’t you think it was too fast? I mean it’s like sharing a kiss on the first date.”
Junsu rolled his eyes, “For a guy who had sexed a lot of people after an hour of meeting, you sure are a conservative one.”
“Yah! But it’s Jae we are talking about here. Jae, the innocent pure and stupid kid.” That was too much! I kicked Chun and slapped his face. After that, pretending that I was still angry, I left them at the corridor and rushed inside the classroom. But before I could enter, someone walked out of the room and bumped my left shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Not giving a chance for me to reply, he continued walking.
As I entered the room, I was welcomed by a scene wherein a crowd flocked around Yunmi who was crying.
“What happened?” I asked Juni, my seatmate.
“The guy, Jung Yunho, that just left was Yunmi’s boyfriend, or should I say ex. He broke up with Yunmi in front all of us saying that Yunmi’s not the one, and that she can’t satisfy him enough.”
“Such a rude guy, to say that in front of people, he could have talked with her in private.”
“Yeah, I know right? But it doesn’t matter that much for him. He has done it a lot of times before. Enough to build the ‘heartbreaker’ he was known for.”
A lot of times that day, I found myself so lost in thought. How could someone play with someone’s feelings so easily? What if I end up like Yunmi? If I would be the one who was loved and cherished by someone like how Yunmi loved him, I would at least respect her and break up with her in a gentler way.
A sudden vibration in my pocket disturb my thoughts.
“Yoboseyo?”
“Hero?”
“…who?”
“I’m MAX-to the MAX.” What the hell, He really called.
“Oh.. Oh. Yeah, yeah, I’m Hero.”
"Did I call at the wrong time? I'm sorry, I just need someone to talk to."
"No, it's fine. Is there something that's bothering you?"
"Yeah, but... it was my fault. I feel so guilty at hurting another innocent heart. But what I did would save that person more pain than what she's feeling now. So, could you help me cheer up?"
And so, just like the night before, we talked about a lot of things, never ending conversations about everything and sometimes about nothing at all.
The next day, I was with Yoochun and Junsu eating in the school's cafeteria, when I heard something that made me snap my head up.
"Yunho hyung, my friend will be coming over any minute now and I would like the two of you to get along. He is Choi Dongwook but we like to call him Se7ev."
"Se7en huh? Cool code name!" Just then a handsome guy walked in and shouted:
"Hey, Max- to the- Max man! How are you?" This guy then hugged Shim Changmin.
MAX-to the- MAX man is Shim Changmin? The school's most intelligent student-- the SHIM Changmin? Both Junsu and Yoochun looked at me with questioning gazes. I shrugged and continued to wonder.
I'm not sure if I would be glad by the fact that my potential boyfriend is the Shim Changmin. I am an ordinary student living a simple life, but Changmin and the group he hangs with are what we know as the popular group, the rich kids, the handsome men.I am nothing compared to them-- him.
But thinking about it harder, Changmin is not a bad guy. He could even be considered as a very respectable guy, not only because he is the school's prodigy but also because of his good attitude. I've seen him around and observed that he was quite the gentleman type. Maybe, it's not a bad idea after all.
Another chilly evening, and I was lying at my bed waiting for my phone to ring, thinking that it would only be fair that I'll reveal who I am since I already know who he is. After about an hour or two, I don't know how long since I kinda dozed off, my phone rang.
"..Hello?" I answered still sleepy.
"Hey, sleepy head, did I disturb your sleep?"
"Hm, a little. How was your day?"
"A little lousy but tiring still. Yours?"
And so, we conversed and I keep waiting patiently for the right timing to come up for me to tell him who I was.
"Hero, what would you say if I ask if we could meet up? I really feel like you could be a really good friend and something more."
"..." I should agree, shouldn't I? It's time to take this, whatever it is, to the next level. there definitely is a good connection between us. So I agreed, and decided not to tell him until then.
We agreed to meet up four days after, when both our time could allow us. I was feeling extremely nervous and excited more and more each day. Then, finally, the day came all too slowly and quickly. I got ready and head out of my house and off to the meeting place. I told him before that I will be wearing a black scarf and a gray hoody. And for me to identify him, he would be wearing a beanie and leather jacket. (as if I need anything that could make me identify him)
And so I arrived at the meeting place which was a cafe. I saw someone at the far end wearing the clothes we agreed upon, his back is on me so i tapped his shoulder.
"Max?" I called out, and he faced me. Who the? This certainly is not Changmin. This guy is Jung Yunho!
I froze on thought about what I should do now. I have come into terms that my to-be boyfriend is the goody two shoes Shim Changmin. I never anticipated it to be the rude, playboy, arrogant guy Yunho. How could this be? The person I talk to everytime is a gentle, kind, understanding, soothing person.
"Hero is Kim Jaejoong?!" He asked shocked. Why would he be shocked? I should be the one who feels that way so I blurted out what is on my mind,
"Jung Yunho?! But I thought MAx is Shim Changmin? And why are you so shocked that it was me? Are you expecting somebody else?"
"Well yeah, I was expecting anybody but you. And yes, Changmin is Max in real but I kinda used his computer that night we first chatted so.. yeah."
"Oh, is that so?... Hm? I should leave then."
"Why? Don't go please. Have a seat."
"Because from what I understood you don't want to see me?"
"No, no, I just said that I wasn't expecting Hero to be you. The truth is, I've liked you since forever and i thought that there could be no chance for me to have you since you haven't glanced my way, not even once. So I had relationships with other people but they just aren't enough, because they are not you. But then Hero came and I found myself thinking that he could be the one to make me forget you. Turns out that I've fallen for the same person twice." then he smiled sheepishly.
I was speechless and still trying to process everything he said. So he likes me, he likes Hero, so he like the two me.He used people to forget about me. But still in the end he can't. So that must mean he really likes me. Will I give him the chance to have me? The power to hurt me if this turned out badly?
"Jae? Please say something. I know this is all unexpected but I can't let go of this chance now. The chance to know you better and maybe to have you."
Then, for the first time I heard another voice in my head saying "Jae just this once, please stop thinking about everything and just follow your heart. You like him as Max don't you? Then you'll like the real person better. Don't think about anything else- the future, the pain-- stop, just stop and let go."
And I did. I smiled and said, " How about we start over again? This time as Kim Jaejoong and Jung Yunho?" I offered him my hand, he shook it and smiled.
"Thank you Jae."
Months then years have passed since that fateful day. Jung Yunho is now officially my lover, my partner my other half. Sure, everything is not all bliss and happiness, there are times where we fought and hurt each other, but kept on reconciling at the end. So I guess, I now know the answer to my question before: if it hurts that much, why would people want to fall in love again and again, risking themselves to experience this kind of pain?
It is, because, every heartache, every pain is worth it. The pain I felt when we almost broke up because of a bad fight, was nothing compared to the joy I felt when he kissed me, when he touched me, when he hugged me, or even when he just looked at me straight to the eyes and told me that he loves me.
"Jae, I love you."
"I love you too Yunho"
"Jae, we have gone through a lot haven't we? Are you willing to go through so much more with me until our last breath?"
"Yunnie, a-are you proposing?" He nodded, and smiled. Then he knelt and held a box with the most beautiful ring.
"Jae, honey, will you marry me?"
And I know, deep in my heart and mind, that I need not to think any longer, nothing else should be considered or thought thoroughly because I could feel it, with all that I am, that I am deeply, madly and crazily in love with him.
I can't stop my tears from falling because I am just too happy to have found someone I own, my other half, and someone that completed me.
"Yes Yun, I'll marry you. I know that we could be happy forever, because we are together."
Author : loveloveyunjae
Pairing : Yunjae
Genre : Fluff
Length : Oneshot
So cold, it is so chilly, the wind keeps blowing on my open window. Despite that, i insist on keeping it open. Just like this weather, I feel cold inside. Weathers like this can't stop me from thinking that i would like it very much to feel warm, to have someone's warmth enclosing me. I feel giddy thinking about these things.
What does it feel like? To have a lover? Love, they say, brings joy a thousand times stronger than anything else, but, it also cuts. They say, it cuts so deep that you can't ever forget the pain, but only ease it up. I keep thinking that if it hurts that much, why would people want to fall in love again and again, risking themselves to experience this kind of pain? They would say, "Someday, Jaejoong, you would know why.why you would crave for it again and again, despite the pain."
Maybe it is time to find the answer why. Maybe I have to find love and experience this inexplicable thing. But how? clubbing? Yoochun always gets his partners from there. But somehow, I wouldn't want to find my special one in that kind of place. Yoochun's relationship doesn't exactly involve love or any kinds of feelings. "No-strings-attached" he says. Those kinds of relationships-- flings, one night stands are, for me, are kinda hateful. I guess I have to seek help. Pulling out my cellphone from my pocket, i dialed my other best friend's number.
"Yoboseyo? Jae hyung ah?"
"Junsu-ah, help me?
"Why hyung? what is the matter? Are you alright? Hurt somewhere? Hyung! how many times do we have to remind you that you should be extra careful, a clumsy person like you with two left feet is bound to encounter accidents. That is why--"
"Yah! Stop that! It's no longer funny, and I'm not hurt, I'm perfectly fine. What I want to ask help is for a different matter.... Help me find love Junsu."
"..."
"Su-ah?"
"No. I won't. Not yet, you are yet too fragile for it. It will break you if it ended badly."
"I'm not Su. Sure, I just lost my dad, but don't you get it? That is the reason why I have to have someone. I am getting over the pain, but I need help."
"You have me, you have us, why do you need more? Haven't we helped enough hyung?" At this point, I know that Junsu is tearing up. Aish, this is not what I expected when I started this phonecall.
"Su, you know I appreciate your help and Yoochun's, I wouldn't ant any other people to be my friends, you two are perfect. But I have to have someone I can call my other half, a person that could complete this empty space in me, please Su."
"Always the romantic one aren't you? Fine I could suggest a way for you to find your "other half." Remember Yonghwa? My first boyfriend? i found him in a chat site, I'll give you that link. Jae, I'm helping you but still, I don't think this is a nice idea."
"Thanks Su. But I think it is time. Anyway, if this won't work out, I know I have you and Chun to turn too. Thanks."
After a while, the link came and i started exploring the site. It is an online dating site, and before entering, it requires answers for questions such as: preference in sex (which i checked male *gay here), ideal type (i chose manly over cute, nerdy and other types), hobbies (singing, writing, reading, and photography) and many other questions.
Finally, i was through. I then have to choose a chat room. Posted something saying "I'm Hero (not stupid enough to give my real name, Duh!) I would like to chat with someone who could be my friend" Not even a second after, multiple chat boxes popped out. I dismissed some because of their perverted messages and kept chatting with the "okay" guys. Most of them turned out badly but there is one who caught my attention the most. We clicked so well, sharing almost the same views and argued on some but still.. This is the one.
MAX-to the-MAX: so.. could i save you as a friend? :)
Hero: thought you would never ask :P
MAX-to the-MAX: :D yah, i was shy you know? it's my first time here.
Hero: no kidding? it's my first too.
We chatted for a very long time, stopping only because of the alarm clock.
MAX-to the-MAX: oh gosh, could you believed that we chatted the night away? my alarm clock just rang. i gotta go soon, school and stuff.
Hero: yeah, me too. i think i have to drink a gallon of coffee or else i'll doze off.
MAX-to the-MAX: hey, uhm, if it's alright with you, could i get your cellphone number?
This time, it didn’t felt right. I have this bothering feeling inside me, that something is not right. But because I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it is, I dismissed the feeling at the back of my mind. So I said “Sure” and gave him my number.
I got ready and prepared coming to the university. Junsu and Yoochun met me at the hallway as always. They asked about the chat thing and I told them about MAX-to the-MAX.
“You mean you didn’t ask for his real name?” Junsu asked.
“Should I have? I mean I wouldn’t be comfortable if he for mine.” Junsu shrugged at the question.
“Hold up! He asked for your cellphone number?” this time it was Chun who asked.
“.. Yeah. Why?”
“Don’t you think it was too fast? I mean it’s like sharing a kiss on the first date.”
Junsu rolled his eyes, “For a guy who had sexed a lot of people after an hour of meeting, you sure are a conservative one.”
“Yah! But it’s Jae we are talking about here. Jae, the innocent pure and stupid kid.” That was too much! I kicked Chun and slapped his face. After that, pretending that I was still angry, I left them at the corridor and rushed inside the classroom. But before I could enter, someone walked out of the room and bumped my left shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Not giving a chance for me to reply, he continued walking.
As I entered the room, I was welcomed by a scene wherein a crowd flocked around Yunmi who was crying.
“What happened?” I asked Juni, my seatmate.
“The guy, Jung Yunho, that just left was Yunmi’s boyfriend, or should I say ex. He broke up with Yunmi in front all of us saying that Yunmi’s not the one, and that she can’t satisfy him enough.”
“Such a rude guy, to say that in front of people, he could have talked with her in private.”
“Yeah, I know right? But it doesn’t matter that much for him. He has done it a lot of times before. Enough to build the ‘heartbreaker’ he was known for.”
A lot of times that day, I found myself so lost in thought. How could someone play with someone’s feelings so easily? What if I end up like Yunmi? If I would be the one who was loved and cherished by someone like how Yunmi loved him, I would at least respect her and break up with her in a gentler way.
A sudden vibration in my pocket disturb my thoughts.
“Yoboseyo?”
“Hero?”
“…who?”
“I’m MAX-to the MAX.” What the hell, He really called.
“Oh.. Oh. Yeah, yeah, I’m Hero.”
"Did I call at the wrong time? I'm sorry, I just need someone to talk to."
"No, it's fine. Is there something that's bothering you?"
"Yeah, but... it was my fault. I feel so guilty at hurting another innocent heart. But what I did would save that person more pain than what she's feeling now. So, could you help me cheer up?"
And so, just like the night before, we talked about a lot of things, never ending conversations about everything and sometimes about nothing at all.
The next day, I was with Yoochun and Junsu eating in the school's cafeteria, when I heard something that made me snap my head up.
"Yunho hyung, my friend will be coming over any minute now and I would like the two of you to get along. He is Choi Dongwook but we like to call him Se7ev."
"Se7en huh? Cool code name!" Just then a handsome guy walked in and shouted:
"Hey, Max- to the- Max man! How are you?" This guy then hugged Shim Changmin.
MAX-to the- MAX man is Shim Changmin? The school's most intelligent student-- the SHIM Changmin? Both Junsu and Yoochun looked at me with questioning gazes. I shrugged and continued to wonder.
I'm not sure if I would be glad by the fact that my potential boyfriend is the Shim Changmin. I am an ordinary student living a simple life, but Changmin and the group he hangs with are what we know as the popular group, the rich kids, the handsome men.I am nothing compared to them-- him.
But thinking about it harder, Changmin is not a bad guy. He could even be considered as a very respectable guy, not only because he is the school's prodigy but also because of his good attitude. I've seen him around and observed that he was quite the gentleman type. Maybe, it's not a bad idea after all.
Another chilly evening, and I was lying at my bed waiting for my phone to ring, thinking that it would only be fair that I'll reveal who I am since I already know who he is. After about an hour or two, I don't know how long since I kinda dozed off, my phone rang.
"..Hello?" I answered still sleepy.
"Hey, sleepy head, did I disturb your sleep?"
"Hm, a little. How was your day?"
"A little lousy but tiring still. Yours?"
And so, we conversed and I keep waiting patiently for the right timing to come up for me to tell him who I was.
"Hero, what would you say if I ask if we could meet up? I really feel like you could be a really good friend and something more."
"..." I should agree, shouldn't I? It's time to take this, whatever it is, to the next level. there definitely is a good connection between us. So I agreed, and decided not to tell him until then.
We agreed to meet up four days after, when both our time could allow us. I was feeling extremely nervous and excited more and more each day. Then, finally, the day came all too slowly and quickly. I got ready and head out of my house and off to the meeting place. I told him before that I will be wearing a black scarf and a gray hoody. And for me to identify him, he would be wearing a beanie and leather jacket. (as if I need anything that could make me identify him)
And so I arrived at the meeting place which was a cafe. I saw someone at the far end wearing the clothes we agreed upon, his back is on me so i tapped his shoulder.
"Max?" I called out, and he faced me. Who the? This certainly is not Changmin. This guy is Jung Yunho!
I froze on thought about what I should do now. I have come into terms that my to-be boyfriend is the goody two shoes Shim Changmin. I never anticipated it to be the rude, playboy, arrogant guy Yunho. How could this be? The person I talk to everytime is a gentle, kind, understanding, soothing person.
"Hero is Kim Jaejoong?!" He asked shocked. Why would he be shocked? I should be the one who feels that way so I blurted out what is on my mind,
"Jung Yunho?! But I thought MAx is Shim Changmin? And why are you so shocked that it was me? Are you expecting somebody else?"
"Well yeah, I was expecting anybody but you. And yes, Changmin is Max in real but I kinda used his computer that night we first chatted so.. yeah."
"Oh, is that so?... Hm? I should leave then."
"Why? Don't go please. Have a seat."
"Because from what I understood you don't want to see me?"
"No, no, I just said that I wasn't expecting Hero to be you. The truth is, I've liked you since forever and i thought that there could be no chance for me to have you since you haven't glanced my way, not even once. So I had relationships with other people but they just aren't enough, because they are not you. But then Hero came and I found myself thinking that he could be the one to make me forget you. Turns out that I've fallen for the same person twice." then he smiled sheepishly.
I was speechless and still trying to process everything he said. So he likes me, he likes Hero, so he like the two me.He used people to forget about me. But still in the end he can't. So that must mean he really likes me. Will I give him the chance to have me? The power to hurt me if this turned out badly?
"Jae? Please say something. I know this is all unexpected but I can't let go of this chance now. The chance to know you better and maybe to have you."
Then, for the first time I heard another voice in my head saying "Jae just this once, please stop thinking about everything and just follow your heart. You like him as Max don't you? Then you'll like the real person better. Don't think about anything else- the future, the pain-- stop, just stop and let go."
And I did. I smiled and said, " How about we start over again? This time as Kim Jaejoong and Jung Yunho?" I offered him my hand, he shook it and smiled.
"Thank you Jae."
Months then years have passed since that fateful day. Jung Yunho is now officially my lover, my partner my other half. Sure, everything is not all bliss and happiness, there are times where we fought and hurt each other, but kept on reconciling at the end. So I guess, I now know the answer to my question before: if it hurts that much, why would people want to fall in love again and again, risking themselves to experience this kind of pain?
It is, because, every heartache, every pain is worth it. The pain I felt when we almost broke up because of a bad fight, was nothing compared to the joy I felt when he kissed me, when he touched me, when he hugged me, or even when he just looked at me straight to the eyes and told me that he loves me.
"Jae, I love you."
"I love you too Yunho"
"Jae, we have gone through a lot haven't we? Are you willing to go through so much more with me until our last breath?"
"Yunnie, a-are you proposing?" He nodded, and smiled. Then he knelt and held a box with the most beautiful ring.
"Jae, honey, will you marry me?"
And I know, deep in my heart and mind, that I need not to think any longer, nothing else should be considered or thought thoroughly because I could feel it, with all that I am, that I am deeply, madly and crazily in love with him.
I can't stop my tears from falling because I am just too happy to have found someone I own, my other half, and someone that completed me.
"Yes Yun, I'll marry you. I know that we could be happy forever, because we are together."