Me. And. My. Big. Mouth...
I knew I shouldn't have said anything...
So. We're headed back from the shelter, and Gunn and Fred are both giving off vibes that could fry my brain six ways from Sunday, which is not exactly conducive to me paying attention, right? I mean, it's hard enough to put one foot in front of the other, right about now.
Which is why I don't notice Gunn and Fred stop dead. I've gone a couple steps past them when Fred says, "Uh-oh..."
"Uh-oh ain't the word I'd pick," Gunn says, and I look up.
Oh, swell.
There's a jillinkar demon right in front of me. How I missed the smell, I have no clue, but it's close enough to grab my lapels. It says something, either a comment about the sad shape my suit is in or how happy it is to have found me again so it can feast on my vitals.
"A little help here?" I say as I struggle to break its grip without ruining the jacket any more. The jillinkar is clearly not impressed; it grins at me and calls out.
"Aw, shit," Gunn says, as three more jillinkar step out of the shadows. "Man, what did you do to piss off these ugly-ass things?"
Do I look like I need questions now? "I'll tell you after you get this thing off me!"
"Fred, stay back," Gunn says, and I hear the swish of his big axe. I stomp on the jillinkar's foot, which just makes the big lug madder; he lifts me up and shakes me. Which just makes my headache so much better. Not.
"Hey!" I say, "Watch the merchandise! I can still salvage this suit!" And suddenly all the childhood training I thought I'd forgotten comes back to me, and I head-butt the ugly sucker.
Did I mention those things have hard heads? They do. Oww...
But it's enough to make the demon let go of me. Which,of course, means I drop to the ground. In the minute or so it takes to clear my head, Gunn steps in and swings. I hear the axe hit demon flesh, snapping bone, and a splash of demon goo hits my cheek. It's purple, and smells worse than the demons. Euwww...
The demon falls to his knees, and the other three jillinkar come rushing at us. (Not terribly quick on the uptake, these guys.) One of them falls with a crossbow bolt through its eye, thanks to Fred. She may have seemed out of it for the last few days, but she's hell on wheels in a fight. Could have told Gunn she wasn't going to stay out of it. She's a fierce one, is Our Miss Burkle.
So that's two down, but there are still two left. Fred is reloading her crossbow, Gunn is yanking his axe out of the first demon. That leaves me. I've mentioned that I hate fighting, right?
But I grew up in Pylea, where kids start their martial training practically before they're weaned. I always hated lessons, but I did pick up a thing or two. So the first jillinkar gets to me, and gets a rabbit punch to the throat. It staggers back, stumbles into the other one, and they both go down. The second one is trying to get out from under the other guy, and man, I think I'm really glad I can't understand some of the things it's saying, because I don't really think they're complimentary. Or even anatomically possible...
Another crossbow bolt pins the two of them together, and while Fred reloads again, the one Gunn is fighting roars. Gunn's gotten the axe out of its side, but it's not out for the count, and tries to get up, get at him again. But Gunn swings the axe behind him in a big arc, and brings it down on top of the thing's head. The momentum of that windup carries the axe clean through the jillinkar's head and neck, and it falls to the ground, spraying purple goo. Gunn's quick; he dances out of the way before any of it hits him.
The two demons on the ground have managed to separate themselves, and they are pissed off. One of them rushes Fred, who puts a bolt through its throat. It falls, choking on its own blood.
The other one comes for me. I duck out of the way, and it crashes into the window of a storefront. The glass shatters and it lands in the middle of a lingerie display. It roars in pain and flails about, trying to get up. I can see large shards of glass from the window sticking out of its back.
"Lorne!" Gunn shouts, and I turn just in time to see a long knife come flying at me. I'm not stupid, I let it land on the sidewalk. As I pick it up, the last demon struggles to its feet, trying to pull the glass shards out of its back. It's swearing up a storm, too, or at least I think it's swearing. Its belly is wide open, and even a complete dope can see that it's vulnerable. I move in and make a slash across its exposed abdomen. The knife is wicked sharp; the demon's skin parts like an overripe tomato and its insides tumble out. It stands there for a second, looking sort of surprised, and then it falls backward into the display, landing on one of the mannequins. It gurgles a bit, and then it's still.
I look around. Gunn and Fred don't seem to be injured. Fred comes to check on me, and uses her handkerchief to wipe the demon goo off my face.
"You okay?" she says, and I nod. Not really up to talking right now.
"We better get going," Gunn says. "Don't want to wait for the nasties that'll come for the free meal."
The thought of what kind of demon would eat a jillinkar makes me shudder. We move on. Thank goodness we're not far from the hotel now. I so need a drink. And about ten of Cordelia's pain pills...
So. We're headed back from the shelter, and Gunn and Fred are both giving off vibes that could fry my brain six ways from Sunday, which is not exactly conducive to me paying attention, right? I mean, it's hard enough to put one foot in front of the other, right about now.
Which is why I don't notice Gunn and Fred stop dead. I've gone a couple steps past them when Fred says, "Uh-oh..."
"Uh-oh ain't the word I'd pick," Gunn says, and I look up.
Oh, swell.
There's a jillinkar demon right in front of me. How I missed the smell, I have no clue, but it's close enough to grab my lapels. It says something, either a comment about the sad shape my suit is in or how happy it is to have found me again so it can feast on my vitals.
"A little help here?" I say as I struggle to break its grip without ruining the jacket any more. The jillinkar is clearly not impressed; it grins at me and calls out.
"Aw, shit," Gunn says, as three more jillinkar step out of the shadows. "Man, what did you do to piss off these ugly-ass things?"
Do I look like I need questions now? "I'll tell you after you get this thing off me!"
"Fred, stay back," Gunn says, and I hear the swish of his big axe. I stomp on the jillinkar's foot, which just makes the big lug madder; he lifts me up and shakes me. Which just makes my headache so much better. Not.
"Hey!" I say, "Watch the merchandise! I can still salvage this suit!" And suddenly all the childhood training I thought I'd forgotten comes back to me, and I head-butt the ugly sucker.
Did I mention those things have hard heads? They do. Oww...
But it's enough to make the demon let go of me. Which,of course, means I drop to the ground. In the minute or so it takes to clear my head, Gunn steps in and swings. I hear the axe hit demon flesh, snapping bone, and a splash of demon goo hits my cheek. It's purple, and smells worse than the demons. Euwww...
The demon falls to his knees, and the other three jillinkar come rushing at us. (Not terribly quick on the uptake, these guys.) One of them falls with a crossbow bolt through its eye, thanks to Fred. She may have seemed out of it for the last few days, but she's hell on wheels in a fight. Could have told Gunn she wasn't going to stay out of it. She's a fierce one, is Our Miss Burkle.
So that's two down, but there are still two left. Fred is reloading her crossbow, Gunn is yanking his axe out of the first demon. That leaves me. I've mentioned that I hate fighting, right?
But I grew up in Pylea, where kids start their martial training practically before they're weaned. I always hated lessons, but I did pick up a thing or two. So the first jillinkar gets to me, and gets a rabbit punch to the throat. It staggers back, stumbles into the other one, and they both go down. The second one is trying to get out from under the other guy, and man, I think I'm really glad I can't understand some of the things it's saying, because I don't really think they're complimentary. Or even anatomically possible...
Another crossbow bolt pins the two of them together, and while Fred reloads again, the one Gunn is fighting roars. Gunn's gotten the axe out of its side, but it's not out for the count, and tries to get up, get at him again. But Gunn swings the axe behind him in a big arc, and brings it down on top of the thing's head. The momentum of that windup carries the axe clean through the jillinkar's head and neck, and it falls to the ground, spraying purple goo. Gunn's quick; he dances out of the way before any of it hits him.
The two demons on the ground have managed to separate themselves, and they are pissed off. One of them rushes Fred, who puts a bolt through its throat. It falls, choking on its own blood.
The other one comes for me. I duck out of the way, and it crashes into the window of a storefront. The glass shatters and it lands in the middle of a lingerie display. It roars in pain and flails about, trying to get up. I can see large shards of glass from the window sticking out of its back.
"Lorne!" Gunn shouts, and I turn just in time to see a long knife come flying at me. I'm not stupid, I let it land on the sidewalk. As I pick it up, the last demon struggles to its feet, trying to pull the glass shards out of its back. It's swearing up a storm, too, or at least I think it's swearing. Its belly is wide open, and even a complete dope can see that it's vulnerable. I move in and make a slash across its exposed abdomen. The knife is wicked sharp; the demon's skin parts like an overripe tomato and its insides tumble out. It stands there for a second, looking sort of surprised, and then it falls backward into the display, landing on one of the mannequins. It gurgles a bit, and then it's still.
I look around. Gunn and Fred don't seem to be injured. Fred comes to check on me, and uses her handkerchief to wipe the demon goo off my face.
"You okay?" she says, and I nod. Not really up to talking right now.
"We better get going," Gunn says. "Don't want to wait for the nasties that'll come for the free meal."
The thought of what kind of demon would eat a jillinkar makes me shudder. We move on. Thank goodness we're not far from the hotel now. I so need a drink. And about ten of Cordelia's pain pills...