I Fucked Up... Again

[loveliz89]

Last night was weird.
Everyone on my floor gathered to play domino's. I have no idea how to play so I chatted on the phone and watched old Bionic Woman episodes online. After many hours of domino-ing, my floor mates began to fatigue and decided it was time to go to bed. This was at about 3am.
So I closed my laptop and carried it to my room, where I

Comments

[zator]

Oh, man, here comes the advice train again. Sorry.

First, the question - tell Ron? You have to make that choice. I don't know what he will do when you tell him - break up with you, or go cheat on you somehow, or whatever...I just don't know. In a way, nothing happened, and it was an isolated incident, so...

But, the bigger concept is your own personal limits. For instance, you knew it was wrong to invite him in when you did it - but you did it anyway.

You have made an admirable decision - to wait when you are married to have sex. That is a good personal limit, and a wonderful start. But you yourself have said that you don't know if you can make it that long. That means that, even though you have made that decision, you are not doing anything to stop anything up to that point - which leaves you vulnerable.

Half of the trick is making the decision. The other half is finding out how you will keep it. A huge step in that direction is, for instance, deciding not to let a boy into your room when it is just the two of you. If you let him come in, a couple of things happen - 1, you are already doing something wrong, so why not let it go a little farther. 2, you are breaking a lesser rule, and leaving yourself open to breaking greater ones.

I am afraid that, if you keep going as you are, you will not be able to save it for after you are married. I don't think you would cheat on Ron, but you leave yourself open and vulnerable.

I guess I am suggesting to draw more lines in the sand. Don't hug someone in the hall except Ron. Don't invite any guy into your room alone, including Ron. Once you start mastering these limits, you get better at setting other limits - don't look at muscles, or any porn (even soft Prime Time TV style porn), or think about sex. That is when you start to truly master yourself.

I know these limits are hard, and all the more so because you have to start enforcing them *now* as opposed to when you and Ron first started going out, or when you first started dating. Its harder to step then it is to not cross a line to begin with. But I promise you that you will be happier - and things like what happened will not happen again.

I know my advice is meaningless, because I didn't follow it myself. But I have taught it to others, young people, and I have seen how strong they are because of it- indeed, much stronger than I am. I still hope I am not overstepping bounds, but I thought you needed to hear this.

[loveliz89]

omg that is going to be soooooo hard!
I'm 18 and my hormones are out of control.
I'm pretty sure I won't be having sex anytime soon but I can't promise anything else.
I really appreciate your advice!