(no subject)
life is full of fullness. i'm not full of longing and sometimes i long to long again. no i do not. sometimes i lie and sometimes i lie about lying. this is where all problems start.
i used to tell you that i could lose myself inside of my own body and it was okay.
it wasn't true back then but now it is.
the only thing in my life that is truly good is when i put on a dress that sparkles and is too short and let myself go the way i never could before. it is incredible. these days i am the one breaking other people out of their shells. this concept blows my mind. i never thought i would get here. i never thought i would get anywhere honestly. i used to talk about being free and the whole concept seemed like just some fancy thing i could talk about and strive for without ever actually knowing what it was, what it meant.
well, hello. now i know. but i wish i could sing.
freedom is one thing. nothing is ever enough.
oh, and love.
well, these days...
these days are just like all the days before.
except five thousand times brighter.
it is like looking out of a window constantly and forever.
i mean, day to day i just feel okay.
but in retrospect i used to be in a deep dark hole and i did not even know i wanted to get out of it.
this is something like a thank you, but i'm not sure who its for.
i feel like i am made of puddles.
everything is so light. even the darkness is light.
tomorrow could be a million things, but it wont be yesterday.
and that is the most comforting thing i can think of,
and also the scariest.
i would like some empty space.
and i would like to safety-glue the parts of you that love me down to your brain so they don't up and leave all of a sudden like they are prone to doing.
i would also like a job that doesn't suck.
and minus all that, life's beautiful.
i used to tell you that i could lose myself inside of my own body and it was okay.
it wasn't true back then but now it is.
the only thing in my life that is truly good is when i put on a dress that sparkles and is too short and let myself go the way i never could before. it is incredible. these days i am the one breaking other people out of their shells. this concept blows my mind. i never thought i would get here. i never thought i would get anywhere honestly. i used to talk about being free and the whole concept seemed like just some fancy thing i could talk about and strive for without ever actually knowing what it was, what it meant.
well, hello. now i know. but i wish i could sing.
freedom is one thing. nothing is ever enough.
oh, and love.
well, these days...
these days are just like all the days before.
except five thousand times brighter.
it is like looking out of a window constantly and forever.
i mean, day to day i just feel okay.
but in retrospect i used to be in a deep dark hole and i did not even know i wanted to get out of it.
this is something like a thank you, but i'm not sure who its for.
i feel like i am made of puddles.
everything is so light. even the darkness is light.
tomorrow could be a million things, but it wont be yesterday.
and that is the most comforting thing i can think of,
and also the scariest.
i would like some empty space.
and i would like to safety-glue the parts of you that love me down to your brain so they don't up and leave all of a sudden like they are prone to doing.
i would also like a job that doesn't suck.
and minus all that, life's beautiful.