Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has...
It's been 5 months since the last time I touched you. 5 months..... I'm going crazy.
They say that sex releases enzymes in your brain that makes you happy... like antidepressants. Maybe that's why I've been so depressed lately. Because I'm a sex addict that quit cold turkey with no opportunity to relapse because I love you too much to hurt you that way.
I keep having this dream where I'm in bed, but your not next to me. And I'm still in love with you, but you are no where to be found. I try to close my eyes and reach out to touch you, but you're not there. You forget about the way I feel about you and pretend like you could live without me.
I'm afraid one day I'll wake up and that'll be true.
Whenever we're on the phone I want to make you promise me that you won't pretend to love me if you don't. And you won't stay with me if I don't make you happy anymore. I want to make you promise me that you'll never lie to me and you'll never keep anything from me. (I respect honesty more than you trying to "protect" me.) But everytime I take in a breath to spill out my thoughts to you I stop. Because I don't want you to worry....And even if I tell you I still love you and I am being completely honest with you, you will wonder where it came from. But one day, when you come back, I will make you promise me those things. Because I want nothing more than to have you happy, even if it means not being with me. (not that I wouldn't fight to the death for you.)
P.S. to anyone who cares... my interview for my promotion is on Friday. Wish me luck.