difficult times...
its so hard... to watch such a great friend turn on you and treat you like gum on the bottom of his shoe. i dont even want to think about it, its so unfair. i mean i understand it, since he did have to show his support .. but still.. it hurt soo much to watch it all happen. i cant explain it; but it feels like he lied to me. it feels like when we were still friends, and he was the perfect friend, he was really only pulling one over on me. watching him be so unkind and mean to me-- i think back and say to myself, "maybe thats how he always was, but i was too niave to see it"-- here i was thinking he wasnt capable of being an insensitive jerk; boy you proved me wrong. i dont deserve this treatment. i told you i didnt do it, i even appologized when it wasnt my fault.. and here i am thinking about y0UR feelings, when my feelings are far from on your mind.
what is my problem? why do i do this to myself? i am fucking sick of being dissapointed by boys. i dont ask much, all i ask is that ur nice and fair. but so far, that hasnt gone well with annybody. im dissapointed in my friends, my family, and myself. i always described myself as a good, positive person. turns out im neither! isnt that rite? apparently i cant even be trusted over some half-ass loser who needs to grow up. i treated her like a friend even though she was cruel and unnecessarily mean. but she had to go and waste it all bc she thought she'd be cool and tell somebody a cuTe lie to make some friends. well news flash darlingg, nobody likes a liar.
so much for keeping my mouth shut.
-anna<3