Not much to add, since Gauri and Elly basically said everything there was to say.
One thing I would like to emphasize is your critique. I agree with what was said above, and I especially found it kind of tiring to read, and it wasn't even my piece you were critiquing. There are two kinds of extremes in critiquing (one is where it's only about three words and another where it just goes on. And on.) You were actually very close to being in the other extreme. Usually when people write they make the same mistakes over again; like in the piece you critiqued, there were some issues with punctuation and the 'showing not telling' thing. However when those two issues could be expressed in two paragraphs, you kind of took each sentence and said the same thing in different words. I don't think you need to point out every misplaced comma or apostrophe. It's just not necessary, and if you just tell them to watch the commas and give them an example I think it would be sufficient for them to work with for future reference.
I agree that your piece seemed overedited. I used to do that, actually, edit while writing, and though at the end I, who wrote it, would understand it perfectly well, I'd just grown too accustomed to the meaning to be objective and it would just sound like crap to others. It's only been recently that I've forcing myself (yes, forcing) to keep writing and not read anything over until I was done. I suggest you try that if you don't already, but you don't have to.
Anyway that's all I can say on the subject. I'll change my vote a bit later, I couldn't decide now. xD
Also sorry if I said the exact same thing as the others, I kind of skimmed over everything. xP
For the most part this piece was not edited. *shrug*
I used to critique much differently. Later I got overly involve with the same pieces making the same mistakes as I'd just given examples of in early drafts. It seems like a much more efficient way of fixing things.
And how do you tell someone they are frequently using commas incorrectly, anyway? It seems like telling them: You don't know how to use commas. Just curious, it seems quite pretentious as an editor regardless of whether you know the person or not.
I can't write straight through. It's impossible. If others can do it then awesome for them but for me I get stuck and I have to read what I've written so far so I know where I am at and what's happened. I don't really edit when I do that but I can see where over-thinking something could give me some details that end up missing in the writing itself.
I'd have to disagree with you on the first thing you said. I rather think that the way ellymelly presented is much more efficient and organized and easier to take in and to store away in your head to use later. If it is necessary to list things instead of making a general overview, then maybe it would be better to group them in sections. For example the comments on certain sentences involving punctuation issues could all be grouped together in some way, so the person reading the critique can read it, take it in, and then move on to the next major issue.
Did that make sense? xD
And you don't necessarily have to tell them that they need to learn how to use commas. A few comments could tell them what exactly they need to improve on it. But I think the use of commas is kind of broad, so it's not easy to tell them all the necessary rules. Just some comments like "You never need to put a comma before 'and'" would work as it is a general rule to remember.
Well I am just talking from personal experience. I prefer a strong line by line as opposed to a few select quotes. I understand the foundation of the idea but it doesn't work with everyone. I could theoretically give everyone the same type of critique but it is not going to have the same usefulness to each individual. Some are brilliant enough to see all their mistakes if someone points out one or two and some are not, leading to 3-300 edits of exactly the same problem in the next sentence. That is very tiring.
Anyway, as I replied to the other two, it is something I will have to work on because it seems there is something of a standard. I'm figuring that once I get myself to critique in that fashion I may not abhor receiving that kind of critique as much.
Yes I see your point about a general rule but I am afraid of those because they are somewhat vague. You never need to put a comma before and but sometimes you should. Sometimes it's better to do so. Oh? Where should you put a comma, then? The more I have to answer later, the less efficient it is to me.
...I'm not sure if that was what I was trying to point out...? xD
Anyway you clarified some things I was wondering. I'm gonna give you a yes because I went to your profile and read your other stories, and I think I liked them better than the one you posted here.
Re: yes, then.thefaewaySeptember 17 2008, 23:54:26 UTC
haha I mean... I don't know if that was your point but in the process of tying the reply I came to that realization whether intended or not. It helps me to understand what everyone here is talking about, now, because for some reason I was of the mind that the more fixing I do outright, the less I have to do later on the same piece. It's true but it doesn't help the author learn and a later piece would have the same problems.
So now I need to critique for the long-term in mind as opposed to immediate. Rather than piece-by-piece I should, while critiquing the piece, still try to help the author overall. Woot.
Re: yes, then.x_triangulatedSeptember 18 2008, 13:51:26 UTC
I read the two other ones in your profile, Miss Emma's Diamond and The Cards. Though the first one I liked, especially its ending, I liked the Cards way better. Nice ideas on that one. I'm kind of a sucker for future-ish stories, as long as they're not too sci-fi. xP
One thing I would like to emphasize is your critique. I agree with what was said above, and I especially found it kind of tiring to read, and it wasn't even my piece you were critiquing. There are two kinds of extremes in critiquing (one is where it's only about three words and another where it just goes on. And on.) You were actually very close to being in the other extreme. Usually when people write they make the same mistakes over again; like in the piece you critiqued, there were some issues with punctuation and the 'showing not telling' thing. However when those two issues could be expressed in two paragraphs, you kind of took each sentence and said the same thing in different words. I don't think you need to point out every misplaced comma or apostrophe. It's just not necessary, and if you just tell them to watch the commas and give them an example I think it would be sufficient for them to work with for future reference.
I agree that your piece seemed overedited. I used to do that, actually, edit while writing, and though at the end I, who wrote it, would understand it perfectly well, I'd just grown too accustomed to the meaning to be objective and it would just sound like crap to others. It's only been recently that I've forcing myself (yes, forcing) to keep writing and not read anything over until I was done. I suggest you try that if you don't already, but you don't have to.
Anyway that's all I can say on the subject. I'll change my vote a bit later, I couldn't decide now. xD
Also sorry if I said the exact same thing as the others, I kind of skimmed over everything. xP
Reply
I used to critique much differently. Later I got overly involve with the same pieces making the same mistakes as I'd just given examples of in early drafts. It seems like a much more efficient way of fixing things.
And how do you tell someone they are frequently using commas incorrectly, anyway? It seems like telling them: You don't know how to use commas. Just curious, it seems quite pretentious as an editor regardless of whether you know the person or not.
I can't write straight through. It's impossible. If others can do it then awesome for them but for me I get stuck and I have to read what I've written so far so I know where I am at and what's happened. I don't really edit when I do that but I can see where over-thinking something could give me some details that end up missing in the writing itself.
Thanks for lookin' at it. :)
Reply
Did that make sense? xD
And you don't necessarily have to tell them that they need to learn how to use commas. A few comments could tell them what exactly they need to improve on it. But I think the use of commas is kind of broad, so it's not easy to tell them all the necessary rules. Just some comments like "You never need to put a comma before 'and'" would work as it is a general rule to remember.
Reply
Anyway, as I replied to the other two, it is something I will have to work on because it seems there is something of a standard. I'm figuring that once I get myself to critique in that fashion I may not abhor receiving that kind of critique as much.
Yes I see your point about a general rule but I am afraid of those because they are somewhat vague. You never need to put a comma before and but sometimes you should. Sometimes it's better to do so. Oh? Where should you put a comma, then? The more I have to answer later, the less efficient it is to me.
*just gets it*
I critique like an editor. Okay. I see, now.
Reply
Anyway you clarified some things I was wondering. I'm gonna give you a yes because I went to your profile and read your other stories, and I think I liked them better than the one you posted here.
So good luck, then. =]
Reply
So now I need to critique for the long-term in mind as opposed to immediate. Rather than piece-by-piece I should, while critiquing the piece, still try to help the author overall. Woot.
Which other stories did you read and like better?
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