You made several mistakes in your critique, one of which was in your suggested piece of dialogue for her: "trust me, I know bruises, and that isn't nothing", which is, of course, a double-negative. I found your writing quite difficult to read, because it was badly-punctuated ("Then later we find out he was a baseball player who got injured and now works in a hospital and knows a doctor who might be able to save her.... happily ever after
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"But don't fuck around trying to blossom out in the many areas you're trying to get good at, because you're *not a genius*. The talent you could be putting into a single area is getting splashed out on too many
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I believe you're right about women doing it more than men, and I think that it is because subconsciously women aren't supposed to make a career out of their talents in the same way that men do
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i'm lucky enough to be absolutely surrounded by intelligent, intellectual women, and they ALL do that thing where they split their attention in too many different directions. actually i can think of one who doesn't, but the rest of them definitely do. one of my friends is burnt out because she combines that split attention thing with an inability to say no. so on a given week she'll be doing the costumes for about 4 different plays, as well as studying set design, and trying to write poetry and keep up with her hobbies eg growing a veggie garden, not to mention social and familial obligations. it's fucking nuts
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well, that whole thing was just...not cool. I mean, the literary critique was fine, but halfway through you started critiquing my personal profile, which tells you nothing about what I've been doing with my life up to this point. And seeing as you have no idea what I've been doing with regards to film, I really don't think you should make judgement calls on my career plans. It's true, I branch out a bunch of different ways, and it's also true that *eventually* I plan on being a mother and devoting my time to my children, but I do actually have a plan. And I'm only on LiveJournal because I thought it would be a fun place to let my creativity out and make new friends, but I think this might be the wrong community for that, and it's obviously the wrong audience for my "childish" fantasy plots. I've left the community, so there's really no point in continuing this thread. Thanks for the writing critique though!
To offer you guidance doesn't mean that I am better than you. A weak person can help a stronger man with a shopping load - strangers can tell us things about ourselves we would otherwise not notice
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I've left the community, so there's really no point in continuing this thread.
Thanks for the writing critique though!
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