(no subject)
don't ask where i have been. you don't want to know. and neither do i.
i can't sleep and when i do i can never wake up. i spent thursday morning drinking coke out of a can downtown and carefully eating vegetable bento over rice, having not eaten anything except for crackers in over 24 hours. a woman watched me eat a mushroom from the bus stop. i listened to air on my cd player and watched the busses zoom by.
please don't think i don't adore all of you. i feel so small inside my skin, far away. easily distracted, cold, bare toes cold. i am trying to send some letters and come back to the living. i am tired of hiding in my bed with the covers and want to get a job and want to move out. i started cleaning, going through stuff i don't need anymore, almost crying over
books that dustin chewed on, because he isn't here.
i am reading she's come undone and think of robbie the whole time i read it, because she sent it to me, because she loves it so much. it's becoming a sort of bible to me, like the virgin suicides has. In different ways.
i need a chris hug, and i miss my wendy girl. i also miss echo. everyone slips away.
i let them slip away quietly, when inside i ache.
i can't sleep and when i do i can never wake up. i spent thursday morning drinking coke out of a can downtown and carefully eating vegetable bento over rice, having not eaten anything except for crackers in over 24 hours. a woman watched me eat a mushroom from the bus stop. i listened to air on my cd player and watched the busses zoom by.
please don't think i don't adore all of you. i feel so small inside my skin, far away. easily distracted, cold, bare toes cold. i am trying to send some letters and come back to the living. i am tired of hiding in my bed with the covers and want to get a job and want to move out. i started cleaning, going through stuff i don't need anymore, almost crying over
books that dustin chewed on, because he isn't here.
i am reading she's come undone and think of robbie the whole time i read it, because she sent it to me, because she loves it so much. it's becoming a sort of bible to me, like the virgin suicides has. In different ways.
i need a chris hug, and i miss my wendy girl. i also miss echo. everyone slips away.
i let them slip away quietly, when inside i ache.