(no subject)
in january i am moving to jupiter or tallanasty, whichever is going to be an easier move and whichever is going to better for me. leaning 85% in one direction, though. truthfully, my mind is blown by the past week. i know that i have problems with being vague; it comes hand in hand with how i was raised, and i've never taken the time to learn anything different. anyone i've ever needed has understood, until now. no one has ever asked me to completely change the way i am... if i choose to completely redo myself then it's going to take time. i am hurt; i don't even want an apology, i don't think. i feel not good enough. there is a difference between trying to better oneself as opposed to.... whatever this is. i am walking away today. i don't know where i'm going or what i'm doing, but i am walking away. i do nothing but make someone else's life miserable, i make them drink and i cause them problems. i hate myself for that. i again am back to a point where i hate who i am, and i just can't stand that. oh well