Private to Rion, unhackablelovelessbanditDecember 18 2006, 20:50:19 UTC
Rion, goddammit when it comes to love I'm more screwed up than anyone. I act like I know what I'm doing but up to this point my only expertise was in pretending.
They've both risked their lives for me.. and they both have their faults and their good points. I trying to be there when I need him, this entire time Duo had been trying to get Naraku to stop hurting me in exchange for himself. I can't expect him to be there every second, but when he is, it counts, he treats me as lovingly as I could ever want and more. I've said things before, because I was confused, because I was unsure, because my natural instinct is to deny myself of what might be love.
Gojyo has done just as many things for me, he's shown me just as much affection, he's been there for me. But I can only give my heart to one person. I'm cruel, too cruel for someone in pain. After what I've done, as his friend, why would you want me to be with him? I got his hopes up then knocked him down twice. I led him on when I wasn't even sure. I told him that I wouldn't abandon him, and look at me now. I'm a selfish bitch.
I don't think I'll visit him at the hospital. I wont show any remorse..I don't want him to know that I care anymore. Maybe he'll just figure I was faking.
It's easier for a person to stop loving another if they hate them.
I'm trusting you not to repeat a word of this, Rion.
Re: Private to Nami, unhackableeternalsuouDecember 19 2006, 01:06:36 UTC
Then you shouldn't be with either of them. If you feel obigated to them both then you're not really ready to love either of them.
You're not being a selfish bitch, you're being stupid and you're going to end up hurtung everyone, including yourself. A girl doesn't have to be in a relationship you know. And as for that jackass, I'm guessing that's who they were talking about last night. I'll take care of it.
Go visit Gojyo. Go now and be his friend. It'll hurt him more if you disappear after you said you wouldn't then if you're still there. Remeber, he's got some really fucked up abandonment shit going; on don't abandon him too.
Re: Private to Nami, unhackableeternalsuouDecember 19 2006, 06:45:45 UTC
It would hurt them less then changing your mind back and forth because you can't figure out what your heart really wants. If you can't make a definate decision and say you love one guy and this is why you love one guy and not because he does things for you then you're not in love with anyone yet. Give it time, be their friends. But don't get involved with them. Hell, if you wanna say you're dating someone say you're dating me. I mean I'm not into girls but I'd totally pretend for you.
I've got my ways of handeling things. Just don't ask any questions.
Re: Private to Nami, unhackableeternalsuouDecember 21 2006, 03:26:10 UTC
Yeah, but are you happy sticking in it? When a girl's heart speaks it means what it says. You seem to still be waffeling back and forth emotionally, so I don't think you really love anyone. It's more cruel to be with someone who you don't love. Trust me, I've been there.
I'll be sure to shoot first and ask questions later.
You should probably go ASAP before they drug him up more.
They've both risked their lives for me.. and they both have their faults and their good points. I trying to be there when I need him, this entire time Duo had been trying to get Naraku to stop hurting me in exchange for himself. I can't expect him to be there every second, but when he is, it counts, he treats me as lovingly as I could ever want and more. I've said things before, because I was confused, because I was unsure, because my natural instinct is to deny myself of what might be love.
Gojyo has done just as many things for me, he's shown me just as much affection, he's been there for me. But I can only give my heart to one person. I'm cruel, too cruel for someone in pain. After what I've done, as his friend, why would you want me to be with him? I got his hopes up then knocked him down twice. I led him on when I wasn't even sure. I told him that I wouldn't abandon him, and look at me now. I'm a selfish bitch.
I don't think I'll visit him at the hospital. I wont show any remorse..I don't want him to know that I care anymore. Maybe he'll just figure I was faking.
It's easier for a person to stop loving another if they hate them.
I'm trusting you not to repeat a word of this, Rion.
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You're not being a selfish bitch, you're being stupid and you're going to end up hurtung everyone, including yourself. A girl doesn't have to be in a relationship you know. And as for that jackass, I'm guessing that's who they were talking about last night. I'll take care of it.
Go visit Gojyo. Go now and be his friend. It'll hurt him more if you disappear after you said you wouldn't then if you're still there. Remeber, he's got some really fucked up abandonment shit going; on don't abandon him too.
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Rion..what do you mean by 'you'll take care of it'..?
Okay, I'll do that.
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I've got my ways of handeling things. Just don't ask any questions.
Good. I think he's in the psych ward.
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Well, just don't accept candy from strangers wearing baboon pelts.
..Ahh, I'll make note of it.
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I'll be sure to shoot first and ask questions later.
You should probably go ASAP before they drug him up more.
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Probably the better idea with that guy..
..good idea..
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