Thank you
In a way I can understand his decision to leave, I understand that he has reached a point in his life where he probably isn’t as happy as he used to be. Something that made him once isn’t making him happy any longer. People change, we change so why wouldn’t our idols change? As everyone else they have the right to decide what’s best for them and their future.
Is my heart breaking? Yes for the third time now. Will it heal? Perhaps in time...
Did I cry? Of course I did. I'm crying all over again as I type this. I have stopped now but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less or I won’t start again, I’m a very sensitive person after all.
Right now I don’t see how they are gonna remain 3 after that with half of the members. How will they continue? How will they sing their old songs again? Covering for one was easy, for two something could be done but now for three? How is it going to work?
I have a feeling my biggest fear will come true and they are going to disband for good. I don’t trust the JE’s words that the remaining three will keep going, I don’t trust them...they had told enough times in the past that things would be okay only to be proved otherwise.
The question is what I’m going to do..part of me wants to quit... part of me wants to bury all the memories deep inside my heart, delete everything related to them bury all the files old and new in my external along with my external in some dark corner...and there’s a part of me who can’t let go, who wants to stay and see what will happen next.
I want to support them and at the same time I don’t. I don't know if I have the strength or the will anymore. I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to stay and wait until spring only for the pain to come back again when Junno will say goodbye. I'm acting like a freaking teenaager now.
I know it's unfair and I know in this tough situation I should be here to support them. But I can't do this, at least not right now.
8 years in this fandom...I have been a fan for 8 years and it's hard to believe all the tears I've been shed and still shedding...For someone who's on the other side of the planet...
Nontheless I want to say thank you to KAT-TUN. Thank you for everything. Thank you for all the happiness you have brought to me and the tears. Thank you cause you were the reason I've made some wonderfull friends.
Whatever you decide to do next I might not be here to see it, only time will show.
Be happy Junno. Be happy KAT-TUN.
Somehow it sounds like a goodbye....