im sick and tired of being sick and tired
man i am soooo tired. i hung out with Holley, jere, eric, rich, fern, and corey last night. we just chilled at jeres house like the good ole days. i kind of felt out of place tho... i had to sit in the other room for a while b/c they were smoking and i didnt really want to be a part of it. i am so done w that part of my life plus i have a drug test soon and i am not even trying to fail that from a contact... anyway... i am so tired of not having time for my friends... ATTENTION TO ALL: my work vac is the week of oct4-8... i will still have school... but i will not have to work (and i get paid heh heh FU weis) so i will make an effort to see EVERYONE! well then i am kind of disappointed in myself emotion wise... why do i always get this way? argh it pisses me off how emotional people can make me. i really need to just stop reading so much into shit. it would make my life so much easier. i just need to keep telling myself that a relationship will only complicate matters more... i need to be anti-relationship for a while.but i am so confused about why and how i feel about people in my life... will it ever end? AHHH........ i miss you carissa and i hope the reply to ur post makes you feel a bit better. i am feeling better about derek stuff... still have not talked to him but its for the best. i knew deep down inside that it was not going to work. there will always be a part of me that regrets all my mistakes but i cant change them thats the bottom line. and i would not be the same person i am today had things been different... so to derek (although he will never be reading this) thank you for taking care of me at a time i needed you, i have learned so much from about myself from our experiences, there will always be a place for you in my heart but i have moved on... goodbye and gook luck in the army rangers. ok well now that i have that out of the way... i have to go to environmental science. ug. then off to see srg kimble to talk about army stuff *sigh* the running around never ends.