(no subject)
So lucky me gets to go to the doctor every single day for like the next 2-3 weeks. BOOOO. I am so pissed off. I would try and explain but it's kind of weird. Just feel sorry for me.. haha.
Life is too short to be sad. Sometimes I want to look back on old LJ entries but I almost never do. Mostly because I would get sad reading back over all the hard times I've gone through. I write about happy stuff too, but there have still been some rough times and it would be sad to see all the time I wasted when I could have just been happy.
I was trying to resize a picture with this picture editor thing and I don't know what I did but I accidentally hit some buttons and my whole screen became the picture. Then I tried to click to get out of it, and it took me to the next picture. And I realized that it was basically a slideshow of all of my pictures. A slideshow of so many memories. Each and every one made me smile and remember what it felt like to be in that moment.
I have pictures of..
--me with the little kids I babysat
--jeff kass's superbowl party
--jena's house
--proms
--new years
--scott's military ball
--hotel parties
--parties at randall and tami's, back in the day
--graduation cruise with my girls
--clemson football games
--mixers
--sorority date functions
--pretty flowers i've received from sweet guys
--parties at pat and vince's place
--my birthday
--me and nick when we dated
--trip to duke with mary kate
--camping
--connecticut, new jersey, alabama in the summer
--clemson basketball games
--uncw trip
--weekends at my lakehouse with the girls
--greek week
--rush blowout
--halloween
--trip to hilton head with adam
--nc state visits
--pi kapp oyster roast
--pink and black party
--spring break 06
--me and greg when we dated
--toga parties
--halloween
--family booze fests
And when those pictures flashed by, it's almost like something inside me changed. I feel.. free. If I died tomorrow, I would be content with my life. And for the first time ever, I can officially say that I have no regrets anymore. Everything that I've ever done is something that I wanted in that moment. And everything that I didn't do was for a reason.
It is just a reminder to me that there is some master plan out there and we aren't really supposed to know where it will take us, but like Chloe Norman said, you just have to go with your intuition. It is never wrong. I'm going to start trusting that more often.
My grandmother is in a nursing home now. She doesn't know why she is there. She forgets things very easily now, and she doesn't even have Alzheimer's. I'm going home on Sunday for fall break and I'm scared to see her. I know I am going to break down and cry, but that always upsets her, so I'm going to try my hardest not to. She doesn't want to be there, I know it.
I hope that whatever happens, she knows how big a role she has played in my life. I think she does know that though. I'm just scared that when she's not here anymore, I'll have questions. And I'll wish I had asked them, but it will be too late.
She loves to read. I think I'm going to make her a bookmark this weekend and take it to her in the nursing home. I used to do that when I was little but it's been a long time. I know she would love it. I just don't know exactly how I want it to look, and what I want to put on it. It has to be perfect.
I love my grandma.
I hope that there is a heaven so that when she dies, she can go there and finally be reunited with the love of her life, who died a long time ago. That makes me happy to think about.
I hope that everyone in my life knows how much I love them and how they have made me the person I am today. And I know that I am confused about that person a lot, but I guess I also didn't realize that I do know who I am for the most part, and I wouldn't be who I am without everyone's support and guidance and love.
I am truly blessed.
I just want to pet my dog.
And see the dog that I had when I was little, wherever he is.
And jump in a pile of leaves.
And drink hot chocolate with gloves on.
And sing really loud in the car and not care if people pass me and look at me funny.
And take pictures with crazy faces and not think I look stupid, even if I know I do.
I want to run as fast as I can and as far as I can and feel like I'm back in high school soccer practice.
I want to go fishing again soon.
Leave funny notes in the bathroom stalls.
Paint my nails every day to match my outfit, like I did in 8th grade.
I want to write in a real diary, one that nobody can ever read.
I want to invent something.
Eat with sporks for a whole week.
Try on really tacky clothes and maybe buy some.
Take pictures in a photo booth, because I've never done that.
I want to roll down a hill.
I want to take a book and sit down somewhere beautiful and read from sunrise to sunset, forgetting about everything I have to do that day.
I want someone to take pictures of me when I'm not looking.
I want to make myself a blanket.
Get my pilot's license.
Ride horses through an open field on a warm summer day.
Make up goofy dances to my favorite songs.
Hold my breath underwater and time myself.
I want to see pictures of my ancestors.
Get a massage.
Tickle someone til they cry.
I want to draw, paint, color in a coloring book.
Kiss someone and feel light-headed because it was that good.
Make s'mores in the microwave.
Play soccer in the house with my sister.
I want to touch a dolphin.
Get a tiny little tattoo on my foot.
Throw someone the surprise party of their life.
Watch every single Disney movie and decide which one is my favorite.
Write letters to everyone telling them how I really feel.
I want to train a therapy dog.
Learn how to juggle more than just scarves.
Say something inspirational that people will remember forever.
I want to bake cookies for all the nice guys that I know.
Date someone completely not my type.
Learn just one really cool magic trick and perfect it.
I want to sleep all day long.
Make my own earrings or my own clothing, something unique that no one but me will ever own.
Play with rolly pollies and lightning bugs.
Make friends with someone who has no one.
Wear absolutely no make-up for 3 days.
Jump in the pool with clothes on.
Cut/dye my hair drastically.
Make the perfect CD for every mood that I could ever be in.
Fly somewhere random and do everything that I want to do, when I want to do it.
I want to be as spontaneous as I possibly can be, at all times.
Life excites me. I can do anything.
<333333333333
kel.
Life is too short to be sad. Sometimes I want to look back on old LJ entries but I almost never do. Mostly because I would get sad reading back over all the hard times I've gone through. I write about happy stuff too, but there have still been some rough times and it would be sad to see all the time I wasted when I could have just been happy.
I was trying to resize a picture with this picture editor thing and I don't know what I did but I accidentally hit some buttons and my whole screen became the picture. Then I tried to click to get out of it, and it took me to the next picture. And I realized that it was basically a slideshow of all of my pictures. A slideshow of so many memories. Each and every one made me smile and remember what it felt like to be in that moment.
I have pictures of..
--me with the little kids I babysat
--jeff kass's superbowl party
--jena's house
--proms
--new years
--scott's military ball
--hotel parties
--parties at randall and tami's, back in the day
--graduation cruise with my girls
--clemson football games
--mixers
--sorority date functions
--pretty flowers i've received from sweet guys
--parties at pat and vince's place
--my birthday
--me and nick when we dated
--trip to duke with mary kate
--camping
--connecticut, new jersey, alabama in the summer
--clemson basketball games
--uncw trip
--weekends at my lakehouse with the girls
--greek week
--rush blowout
--halloween
--trip to hilton head with adam
--nc state visits
--pi kapp oyster roast
--pink and black party
--spring break 06
--me and greg when we dated
--toga parties
--halloween
--family booze fests
And when those pictures flashed by, it's almost like something inside me changed. I feel.. free. If I died tomorrow, I would be content with my life. And for the first time ever, I can officially say that I have no regrets anymore. Everything that I've ever done is something that I wanted in that moment. And everything that I didn't do was for a reason.
It is just a reminder to me that there is some master plan out there and we aren't really supposed to know where it will take us, but like Chloe Norman said, you just have to go with your intuition. It is never wrong. I'm going to start trusting that more often.
My grandmother is in a nursing home now. She doesn't know why she is there. She forgets things very easily now, and she doesn't even have Alzheimer's. I'm going home on Sunday for fall break and I'm scared to see her. I know I am going to break down and cry, but that always upsets her, so I'm going to try my hardest not to. She doesn't want to be there, I know it.
I hope that whatever happens, she knows how big a role she has played in my life. I think she does know that though. I'm just scared that when she's not here anymore, I'll have questions. And I'll wish I had asked them, but it will be too late.
She loves to read. I think I'm going to make her a bookmark this weekend and take it to her in the nursing home. I used to do that when I was little but it's been a long time. I know she would love it. I just don't know exactly how I want it to look, and what I want to put on it. It has to be perfect.
I love my grandma.
I hope that there is a heaven so that when she dies, she can go there and finally be reunited with the love of her life, who died a long time ago. That makes me happy to think about.
I hope that everyone in my life knows how much I love them and how they have made me the person I am today. And I know that I am confused about that person a lot, but I guess I also didn't realize that I do know who I am for the most part, and I wouldn't be who I am without everyone's support and guidance and love.
I am truly blessed.
I just want to pet my dog.
And see the dog that I had when I was little, wherever he is.
And jump in a pile of leaves.
And drink hot chocolate with gloves on.
And sing really loud in the car and not care if people pass me and look at me funny.
And take pictures with crazy faces and not think I look stupid, even if I know I do.
I want to run as fast as I can and as far as I can and feel like I'm back in high school soccer practice.
I want to go fishing again soon.
Leave funny notes in the bathroom stalls.
Paint my nails every day to match my outfit, like I did in 8th grade.
I want to write in a real diary, one that nobody can ever read.
I want to invent something.
Eat with sporks for a whole week.
Try on really tacky clothes and maybe buy some.
Take pictures in a photo booth, because I've never done that.
I want to roll down a hill.
I want to take a book and sit down somewhere beautiful and read from sunrise to sunset, forgetting about everything I have to do that day.
I want someone to take pictures of me when I'm not looking.
I want to make myself a blanket.
Get my pilot's license.
Ride horses through an open field on a warm summer day.
Make up goofy dances to my favorite songs.
Hold my breath underwater and time myself.
I want to see pictures of my ancestors.
Get a massage.
Tickle someone til they cry.
I want to draw, paint, color in a coloring book.
Kiss someone and feel light-headed because it was that good.
Make s'mores in the microwave.
Play soccer in the house with my sister.
I want to touch a dolphin.
Get a tiny little tattoo on my foot.
Throw someone the surprise party of their life.
Watch every single Disney movie and decide which one is my favorite.
Write letters to everyone telling them how I really feel.
I want to train a therapy dog.
Learn how to juggle more than just scarves.
Say something inspirational that people will remember forever.
I want to bake cookies for all the nice guys that I know.
Date someone completely not my type.
Learn just one really cool magic trick and perfect it.
I want to sleep all day long.
Make my own earrings or my own clothing, something unique that no one but me will ever own.
Play with rolly pollies and lightning bugs.
Make friends with someone who has no one.
Wear absolutely no make-up for 3 days.
Jump in the pool with clothes on.
Cut/dye my hair drastically.
Make the perfect CD for every mood that I could ever be in.
Fly somewhere random and do everything that I want to do, when I want to do it.
I want to be as spontaneous as I possibly can be, at all times.
Life excites me. I can do anything.
<333333333333
kel.