log for mcgill_pride.

[loveisenough]

Nothing appeased Alice's guilt about the Wilson Situation. No amount of reading, or burrowing into John's chest, or sleeping, or swimming had assuaged the sick feeling in her gut. Meddling doesn't help. Should've just let the boys fight it out on their own. After another listless afternoon of folding and unfolding herself on her bed, she got up

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[mcgill_pride]

He dropped his face to hide any thankful embarrassment when she told him he looked fit. It wasn't like Wilson believed it, but hearing it from someone who hadn't seen the extent of his horrible state while he was drunk (or going through withdrawal) was certainly encouraging. Especially when that someone was as an attractive woman as Alice was. Wilson recalled what House had identified her as. A stripper. But James Wilson wasn't a judgemental person. He kept himself to high standards...but looked at everyone else in a different way.

"I'm glad you think so," he returned, glancing up at her again. He considered staying standing but decided to make her feel as comfortable as he could and took a seat in the chair next to the bed. He crossed his legs and rested his arms on either side of the chair, offering her one more smile.

"Look, I want to apologize, too," Wilson continued lightly. "The way I left you before was rather...disconcerting, I'm sure. I was just going through a hell of a lot and the news you gave proved to be really, uh, surprising. But you didn't do anything wrong."

He took a deep breath and scooted his chair foward a bit, uncrossed his legs and leaned foward, his elbows on his knees and his gaze levelling with hers.

"I understand why you might've thought...what you thought. I also understand that House can provoke a good amount of crazy instincts in a person." He winked at her to show just how well he understood that. "But, Alice, could you do me a favor? Could you tell me what happened that night in the bar with him?"

[loveisenough]

Alice sighed and pulled her knees to her chest. "I told you. I meddled. I'm sorry, and - " She let her voice trail, and looked away. "I shouldn't even be here."

She should've just run away. It was so much easier. Maybe that was why she'd been taken to the Hotel. Punishment.

[mcgill_pride]

"No, no," he said, raising a hand and looking at her with gentle eyes. He sighed and stood slowly, not wanting to make her feel threatened or pressured, and walked over to the bed before sitting down next to her. Wilson wasn't trying to be suggestive, just comforting, and he raised his hand and placed it on her forearm lightly. "I'm not angry. Stop apologizing."

He dipped his head a bit to try and catch her eyes. God, she looked like she was going to cry. Wilson realized he had no idea what this woman's troubles were, the stress she was under, and suddenly felt a pang of guilt for putting her through more burdens that didn't even belong to her. "I just want to understand, that's all," he said softly. "Hey. Look at me."

Wilson squeezed her arm gently. "It's alright. Okay? Don't tell me I've gone and lost my swimming partner, now, have I?" He smiled another warm smile.

"Now...meddled? I don't think that's the right word." Wilson removed his hand, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or seem like he was trying for something he wasn't. He clasped the back of his neck and kept his eyes focused on her. "Did you actually think that I was..." He cleared his throat. "In love with him because of my reaction? Or did House simply act like an asshole and make you try to say something to get a reaction out of him? Don't worry so much, Alice. I'm just curious."

[loveisenough]

She tried not to shiver when Wilson touched her arm. He was too close. Everyone felt desire toward someone else when they were in a relationship with someone. The trick was how to handle it. She could've easily leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. She doubted he'd push her away.

She met his eyes and for a moment felt herself moving forward before she pulled herself back. John would leave me and I would shatter into a million unfixable pieces.

"I thought you did. I still think you do. In your way."

[mcgill_pride]

Wilson didn't notice Alice leaning in, or leaning out for that matter, too focused on her words.

"I see," he replied, nodding. "Well, everyone's got opinions." He smiled at her again. That hadn't been...what Wilson was expecting. He was expecting Alice to tell him that House had provoked her. For one thing, Wilson knew better than to think Alice would be out to hurt him by saying anything. Hurting House made sense. But she actually believed he...hmm. "Let's see..."

A finger raised to his lips and smoothed over them thoughtfully for a second, Wilson looking to the side momentarily. He didn't think much of how close he was sitting to Alice or that touching her might've been inappropriate - although he had to admit he'd enjoyed flirting with her and found her attractive on a few different levels. He was aware that House disliked her and he did know what House had called her. Whether that was true or not...Wilson simply didn't see Alice as cheap or distasteful. He found her intelligent and beautiful, as well as endearing. Not that his mind lingered on any potential there; he was far too preoccupied with things to actually pursue that. Hell, he didn't even know if she was single or not. Right. Back to the subject at hand.

"House and I have been..." Wilson removed his finger from his lips and looked back to her with the same gentle eyes he'd been careful to keep before. "He's my best friend, you see. Has been for many, many years now and we've been through a lot together." Recently, even more than a lot. But Wilson didn't intend to go anywhere near the sex they'd had together. Not since Alice seemed to be so...open with everyone about the information she gathered. "I do care about him very much. I suppose I can see why you'd think that. Anyway."

He smiled at her cheerfully again and clasped her shoulder for a moment. "Don't trouble yourself about what happened, alright? He...hunted me down after you two talked and we managed to work things out. No harm, no foul. Just, do something for me and try not to mention what you happen to think to him again, in that context?" His smile widened to show just how not upset he was. "You and I both seem to know how moody he gets. It'd be better if he didn't hear things like that."

[loveisenough]

"I don't think I'll let myself be in the same room with him anymore. He's manipulative." She moved forward, unable to keep from fussing with his hair. She sniffed appreciatively, and laughed.

"You use conditioner." It'd been a long time since she'd met a man who did anything to his hair beyond just using bar soap. "It smells nice."

She was kneeling in front of him, still fixing his hair, when one hand brushed over his shoulders. "Jesus Christ you're tense. Get over here." She pointed to the spot next to her on the bed. "Lucky you I tried massage school for a month before I quit."

[mcgill_pride]

"He is that," Wilson agreed, nodding and smirking slightly. He knew if House was here, he'd not waste two seconds turning that comment around on Wilson. Luckily, Alice was here. He blinked as she laughed and bit his lower lip in a mock show of awkwardness when she mentioned conditioner. He wasn't really ashamed though, especially since she seemed to like it. Wilson spent a lot of time taking care of himself when he was set to rights, and hearing it confirmed meant that maybe he was coming close to being himself again...

"Really?" he replied to her comment about school, his smile almost permanent now. Wilson couldn't help but fall right back into the dynamic he'd first assumed with Alice. He did like her, after all, and being commented on and complimented during days like these was something he truly appreciated.

There was no harm in it, he told himself. Plus his muscles were in 'dreadfully tensed as all hell' mode. If he wasn't stiff, he was sore and aching. And he didn't mind the idea of her touching him, either. Wilson shrugged and nodded, scooting to the spot she'd directed him to on the mattress.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" he teased, chuckling. "Not that you could do more damage than I've already done myself." That opened up a brand new topic for discussion about Wilson and his drinking, but he didn't mind. After all - anyone Alice could talk to about that already knew.

[loveisenough]

She knelt behind him and idly ran her fingernails up and down his back. "I only went to massage school for a month, James. But you'll get the benefit of those twenty-five days, promise." She let her palms rest on the space between his shoulders and neck, letting him grow accustomed to the weight. She felt the flat of her stomach near the flush of his back, and made herself not think about his neck.

Her thumbs dug gently into muscle, twisting it in small semi-circles. She smiled a little as she worked, hoping it really would help him relax. "Tell me how you want it, okay?"

[mcgill_pride]

The shudder than ran through him was purely mental, he told himself, and hoped he was right. Wilson had undergone nothing but stress: Everything with House, going back home and returning to the Hotel, becoming a drunk, turning sober, more stuff with House...Oh, God that felt good.

A choked grunt escaped his throat before he could stop it and Wilson felt himself leaning into her touch slightly, his shoulders untightening and his weight slouching a bit. The aches and trembling that had come with the withdrawal took a large toll on him physically and Wilson hadn't realized just...how...

What Alice said made his eyes flutter for a moment and he was grateful that she couldn't see his face. Be careful, said a voice in the back of his mind. Another voice told him to relax, told him he needed this.

"Mm," he murmured quietly, letting himself move with her hands and wincing when her thumb pressed into a bundle of nerves. "That's...you shouldn't have quit school," he teased, laughing as he spoke. He quickly went quiet again, trying to keep silent and putting a lot of effort into veiling just how good it felt. Memories of how he'd been affected by the Doctor's touch ran across his mind and he felt pathetic for it.

"You won't break me," he heard himself saying lowly, before he thought about it. "I mean...oh," he stopped, inhaling sharply and tipping his head back minimally. "A little harder. Right there."

[loveisenough]

Alice felt her hips and stomach line up with his back. He was warm, and she felt her hips pitch forward without being aware of moving them.

"Don't be so sure," she murmured. Her voice was just as low, and she bit her lip hard. "I have a shockingly good grip." She hoped that was a good enough cover, especially since her fingers were loosening his tie.

"Massages work better shirtless. And since I've already seen you topless, there's no harm, right?" She wondered if she was convincing him or herself.

She felt her fingers undoing the top two buttons of his shirt, and waited to see if he'd bat her away. Or if I get my sanity back.

[mcgill_pride]

"Yeah?" he asked when she mentioned her good grip, his voice still low and nearing a whisper. Wilson was trying to sound unassuming. Just...polite and...agreeable...

His eyes opened when she said the word 'shirtless' and his head tipped foward to survey her hands unfastening his shirt. "I..." The warmth of her pressed up against him was intoxicating and Wilson took a deep breath as his eyes slipped closed again, trying to stay focused on something other than the comfortable weight of Alice against his back. She was right - she'd seen him in the pool. And, as a doctor, he knew that proper massages were done without shirts. It was just a massage.

Nothing to worry about. Even if it was, though, Wilson wasn't sure he'd be able to gather the will power to stop her. Because he...there was so much hurt and exhaustion. The sex with House had shattered something inside of him and he'd felt so alone for so long. In fact, if it wasn't for the Doctor.

"No harm," he echoed, relaxing again. His fingers raised up to where she was working her way down his shirt and brushed against hers before taking over and making quick work of the buttons. Wilson leaned foward and slipped it off his shoulders, pulling it off either arm and tossing it onto the chair he'd been sitting in a few moments ago. He let out a shaky breath and tried to swallow any apprehension down. It was just a damn massage, he repeated to himself. This wasn't sex. It wasn't what House had done with Alice. Or for those reasons.

He slowly leaned back until he felt her against him again, closing his eyes once more. "No harm at all," he added as an afterthought, his tone still low but light.

[loveisenough]

"Nope." She looked around for some sort of massage oil, figuring if he conditioned maybe he moisturized. But it was hard to focus when his skin was hot against her fingertips and stomach. She went back to the knot she'd felt before, digging in harder like he'd requested. Doing so required her to lean forward a little, and she felt her lips closer to his ear and neck.

All of her inner bells and alarms were going off, but she told herself that they were just flirting at the worst. Hell, at best she was doing something theraputic - his shoulders really were knotted.

"Like this, James?" She felt her mouth brush over his ear and pulled back a little bit.

[mcgill_pride]

Wilson's pulse was beginning to increase steadily and he could feel the reverberation of his heart thudding against his rib cage. He swallowed thickly, his hands gripping his knees and trying to wipe the sweat off his palms onto the denim of his jeans.

Her hands against his bare skin, warmth against warmth, the soothing burn that the pressure was causing to flood his neck and shoulders...Wilson rolled his arms back slightly as her hands coaxed the tension right out of him. And he could still feel her body against his back, more acutely now than before. Her stomach pressed flush against the small of his back and contrasting with the feeling of the cold air against his chest.

Wilson let out an audible exhale at her words and his head tipped back again, until he could feel his neck resting slightly against her shoulder. Her breath came in waves against his ear and he licked his lips - they remained parted and his chest rose and fell a bit more heavily. Her lips had brushed against the shell of his ear and his instinct was to turn around and feel more of her. Taste her.

But this was just bordering on something and it was still excusable. After everything...all the things he'd thrown at House about casual sex...everything, Wilson was still too aware to lose that kind of control. Didn't stop him from soaking in what was going on, though.

"Yeah," he exhaled, resting his head against her shoulder a bit more. "Yeah. You're...talented." Another quiet grunt escaped his throat and he started breathing through his mouth, the ebb and flow of oxygen loud enough for her to hear just what she was doing to him.

[loveisenough]

She smiled a little. Wilson didn't know the half of her talents, not really. If her self-control held out, and it had to, he also never would.

But she watched him and let herself enjoy the moment. It was still mostly innocent, and she was still allowed to do what she was doing. He was relaxing, muscles unfolding like a flower, and she did want to give that to him out of friendship.

When hi head rest against her shoulder, she resisted the urge to lean her head forward and bite on the hollow below his Adam's apple. She felt herself moving forward, hips rocking from side to side ever so slightly, wishing for friction that wouldn't - couldn't - be there. She could tell he could feel it, but she bit down on her lower lip. Her hands remained on his neck.

"Thank you," she murmured. He'd complimented her, and it took a while to register.

[mcgill_pride]

"Well-earned," he replied, his voice low again. Wilson could feel her hips moving slightly and gripped his knees a bit more, trying very hard not to reach behind him and put both his hands on her waist. Return the favor. It just felt so good to be touched by her. His head tilted to the side slightly, pushing his weight back against her a bit more, his face now a few inches from her neck.

They could write this off. It wasn't dangerous. Felt good. Wilson wanted to thank her, gritting his teeth as she tightened her grip on his shoulders a bit.

"God," he whispered, the warmth of his voice against her neck but his eyes remaining closed. "You're really...good at this, Alice." His eyes were screwed up in a mixture of pain and pleasure, his muscles stubbornly releasing bit by bit after all the damage he'd rendered, and he kept his head tilted toward her so she could see him.

He let out another shaky breath against her skin and hummed with satisfaction for a moment before opening his eyes and looking up at her. "Thank you," he said, his voice a bit deeper and somewhat scratchy. He flexed his shoulders underneath her touch and tilted his neck further, smoothing his hair against her skin as he leaned against her heavily.

[loveisenough]

His breath was close to her neck, and she felt it when he breathed out. She tried not to reach down and run her fingernails over his stomach, or reach out and suck on an earlobe. She wondered if he'd taste sweet.

Her hips managed to find some sort of rhythm wherein the seam on her jeans was doing something terribly clever, and she tried not to moan in his ear. She was mostly successful, biting her lower lip to muffle herself. She hoped it just sounded like an expression of her wrists or arms growing tired.

"You're welcome, James. I - my wrists are getting a little sore." She squeezed his shoulders gently before dropping her hands to her sides, carefully tucking them underneath her. She didn't want things to progress more than they already had.

"Better?"