a gunshot to the head of the past

[loveischemicals]

We had 25 cigarettes to last us the whole way
by the second exit, they were all gone
like dreams, or the past,
or a burning-summer-night-sky
it can bleed thru in front of your eyes.

Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing
back then, when it mattered.
Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing
back then, when you and I belonged..
Distant lands for distant friends but
there is no way to make amends.
I wish I could.

I miss you, I miss her, I miss her too.
I miss you all, everyone.
Anyone I haven't seen:
Anyone who has screeched out of my life,
anyone who has snuck out,
anyone who has broken out --
just after breaking in --
anyone who won't leave,
anyone who can't
and those who don't have the heart to.

How I wish I could travel those tongues,
paint the mountains red,
let it bleed thru,
make it mean something
one more time
like it used to.

I still dream about you, and her, and her too,
just so you know:
no compromising sexual positions, promise,
just basic things like how happy we are
without each other.
Are you?