girl, i wanna lay you down...
it's still wonderfully sunny. and i am still in a wonderful mood and i wish it were wearing me out, but for some reason, i could live this way forever.
i worked last weekend, but weekends are pretty slack around here, and i didn't have to do much. in fact, i was finished at 1230 on saturday and spent the rest of the day at the beach. i got pretty intensely tanned over the last few days, especially yesterday, on my day off, when i refused to move from my poolside.
he came over and i got all butterfly-ee. and we're hanging out tomorrow night and i am still all giddy about it. i don't want to be and i refuse to get emotionally attached. it's all over after the summer. i have to keep telling myself that.
i'm going to ottawa this weekend to watch my aunt get married. i'm giving the toast to the bride. i should probably start writing that. it's going to be whirlwind and insane. my family is driving down on friday and my brother, his girlfriend and i are flying back on sunday night. hungover on an airplane should make for a good time. my parents are going to stay in montreal for a week. i am pretty excited about that.
i feel like time is slipping away from me lately and if i weren't in such a good mood i would be in extreme panic mode. but i'm taking it in stride, i'm trying not to hold on to everything so much. i've been having a lot of fun and making a lot of mistakes. both are things i am not used to being so relaxed about. i feel like i've grown a lot in the last few months.
it's odd to think this is my last year of some type of excuse to be completely irresponsible. maybe that's why this summer has been so different, because i have that knowledge. or maybe it's a quarter life crisis and i am simply making up for all the time i feel like i missed out on when i was neurotic about responsibility in high school. or maybe it's because i'm single. but i've done things i never thought i would. i've told people exactly how i feel. i've become a "take it or leave it" type, and it's so liberating.
sometimes it hits me that the future is no longer a pipe dream. it's literally right there. 10 months away. my stomach turns thinking about it, but it's so exciting that it's hard to not want it to come sooner. but at the same time, i've had so many moments in the last few months, weeks, days even that i wish i could freeze forever, that it's difficult to not want the future to be pushed back just a little further, just so i can stay in these moments a little longer.
there is something romantic about being 21, irresponsible, liberated and in "summer love". about spending time with friends who have loved me through every up and down i've encountered since i was 14. it's a strange appreciation to know the people who have grown with me, or at least accepted my growth. i get sad, sometimes, knowing how many people we're leaving so soon. but i have to remember that i'm going back to people for 8 months. i'm not leaving them yet. i'm getting better at appreciating moments, instead of anticipating the next one. i think that's my summer resolution.
love,
stephanie
i worked last weekend, but weekends are pretty slack around here, and i didn't have to do much. in fact, i was finished at 1230 on saturday and spent the rest of the day at the beach. i got pretty intensely tanned over the last few days, especially yesterday, on my day off, when i refused to move from my poolside.
he came over and i got all butterfly-ee. and we're hanging out tomorrow night and i am still all giddy about it. i don't want to be and i refuse to get emotionally attached. it's all over after the summer. i have to keep telling myself that.
i'm going to ottawa this weekend to watch my aunt get married. i'm giving the toast to the bride. i should probably start writing that. it's going to be whirlwind and insane. my family is driving down on friday and my brother, his girlfriend and i are flying back on sunday night. hungover on an airplane should make for a good time. my parents are going to stay in montreal for a week. i am pretty excited about that.
i feel like time is slipping away from me lately and if i weren't in such a good mood i would be in extreme panic mode. but i'm taking it in stride, i'm trying not to hold on to everything so much. i've been having a lot of fun and making a lot of mistakes. both are things i am not used to being so relaxed about. i feel like i've grown a lot in the last few months.
it's odd to think this is my last year of some type of excuse to be completely irresponsible. maybe that's why this summer has been so different, because i have that knowledge. or maybe it's a quarter life crisis and i am simply making up for all the time i feel like i missed out on when i was neurotic about responsibility in high school. or maybe it's because i'm single. but i've done things i never thought i would. i've told people exactly how i feel. i've become a "take it or leave it" type, and it's so liberating.
sometimes it hits me that the future is no longer a pipe dream. it's literally right there. 10 months away. my stomach turns thinking about it, but it's so exciting that it's hard to not want it to come sooner. but at the same time, i've had so many moments in the last few months, weeks, days even that i wish i could freeze forever, that it's difficult to not want the future to be pushed back just a little further, just so i can stay in these moments a little longer.
there is something romantic about being 21, irresponsible, liberated and in "summer love". about spending time with friends who have loved me through every up and down i've encountered since i was 14. it's a strange appreciation to know the people who have grown with me, or at least accepted my growth. i get sad, sometimes, knowing how many people we're leaving so soon. but i have to remember that i'm going back to people for 8 months. i'm not leaving them yet. i'm getting better at appreciating moments, instead of anticipating the next one. i think that's my summer resolution.
love,
stephanie