(no subject)
Today we had a family July 4th party at my house and it was pretty much a disaster. By the end of the night I was up in my room crying myself to sleep. Three of my cousins are still here, and I feel bad, I've been miserable all night. I'm not very good at pretending I'm happy. There are going to be some big changes around here soon, there has to be. My mom is completley depressed because of her fucking work, her job is killing her, and at the same time killing me and my family. The littlest thing will make her snap. I feel bad because there isnt really anything she can do, she has to work. I think everyone would be happier if she quit and then we could sell the house, and move into a smaller one. That would be really hard because I grew up here and I love this house, but I would rather have time with my mom then a big house. What makes me mad is that my "grandfather" is a fucking millionare and he wont help us out in the least bit. I just feel so helpless, I wish there was something I could do, but there isn't. Its amazing just how much happiness depends on money. I really fucking hate my life right now.